Citation: BK. "Staring at the Wall: An Experience with Cocaine & Alcohol (exp55621)". Erowid.org. Jun 16, 2009. erowid.org/exp/55621
||(powder / crystals)
I'd like to start off by telling everyone that as a child I was adamantly refused to trying any drugs. This was in part due to my family. After high school, my sister became involved with a series of bad people who all had the same problem. They were Meth Addicts. Her escapades with this drug as well as having a cousin who was a junkie, combined with all of the media bullshit, really turned me away from drugs. It wasn't until I was in 9th grade in High School that I had any interest in drugs. I had a real change in friends between middle and high school and my new friends weren't what I would call role models. The people I was involved with smoked weed a lot. And I'm not exaggerating this. Two of my best friends would go through a dub of weed each, per day. Neither could go more than an hour or two without tokin' up. It was this exposure to drug culture that sparked my interest.
I started off with weed. The first time I smoked weed was before my first high school dance. I know that some people say they donít get high their first time smoking weed, but I was blazed off my ass. I smoked weed, with regularity, 3-4 times a week. This went on for almost a year until I started getting tired of the same experience. The novelty of bud wore off and I stared thinking about trying new things. My sophomore year started and the people I was hanging out with replaced their weed habit with thizz. I had heard all the media hype surrounding ecstasy and was shy at first. Within a month, E use exploded at my school. A couple of my friends who had been selling weed for a while, started selling E and were raking in the dough. These connections allowed me to get free E whenever I wanted it. I started doing it all the time. I liked the high, but it wasnít the kind of experience I was looking for. I found the high too intoxicating. It reminded me of drinking and taking Ritalin at the same time. I decided was looking for something different and cut down my use.
At this point I was still selling it and making a lot of money but did it, at most, once a week. Usually on Friday nights. By the middle of my sophomore year, I stopped doing it all together, though I still sold it from time to time to make spare cash. I started spending more time with other friends. These friends were a year older than me and had been the main people in introducing my school to E. One of them in particular, supplied more than half the school with their fix and was raking in thousands of dollars. I had a conversation with him and he told me he was interested in other products. I introduced him to a friend of mine who sold, among other thing, cocaine.
I had never tried cocaine before and wasn't interested in it initially. I knew too many people who suffered major problems with so-called 'hard' drugs. My friend started selling coke and was making more money than ever. It wasn't as popular as E had been but it was a lot more expensive, and addictive for that matter. I was surprised with how many people at my high school were using and my view on it eventually softened. I had been to several parties where my friends had tried to get me to try it. I eventually decided that I was going to give it a try. I decided to try it in the same manner as I had both weed and E. I got a gram bag from my dealer for $20 (his cost) and went over to my friend's house. The same one I had smoked weed with for the first time.
I remember opening the bag on my friend's glass coffee table and taking out my school id to chop it up into lines. I separated the gram into 10 small lines, took the pen tube and snorted a line. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. My nostril went numb and I felt like I was ready for anything. I have never been so alert in my life. After 10 minutes my throat went numb from the drip. I wanted more so I did another line and my friend took one. Again, I was on top of the world. I felt like I could do anything and I never wanted it to stop. I took one more line with my friend and we decided to head out (it was a Friday night after all) and do some partying. I decided to save the rest of the sack for another day. We went to a party at another friends house and what are they doing there? Snorting coke.
My high was coming down and I decided to do another line. After that, I proceeded to get drunk off my ass. The party died down at around one in the morning with only a few good friends left. By this time I had started feeling like shit so I pulled out my other half a gram and broke it into two lines. I snorted them both. The feeling was incredible and I sat on the couch staring at the wall for the next half an hour, out of my mind with feelings of happiness. After an hour of this, I started feeling down again. There was nothing I could do to counter-act these feelings because I had no more coke left. I headed home where I watched TV for a couple hours before trying to go to sleep. I say trying because I was awake in my bed until 9 the next morning when I was finally able to pass out. I survived the ordeal by telling myself that I would get a hold of some more coke the next day. I did no such thing. After the come-down symptoms, I was able to stop myself from buying more by telling myself that I never wanted to feel that awful.
Since that experience I have done coke several times, though I have exercised more restraint. I find that I think about it occasionally but I can stop myself from wanting it by reminding myself of the come-down.
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