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Aren't I Supposed to Feel Good?
Cocaine
by d1vin3
Citation:   d1vin3. "Aren't I Supposed to Feel Good?: An Experience with Cocaine (exp55607)". Erowid.org. Apr 5, 2018. erowid.org/exp/55607

 
DOSE:
  oral Alcohol (liquid)
    insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 120 lb


Ever since I first tried cocaine, I could feel the negative energy persisting out of that clean looking white powder. My dad lost his soul to cocaine and methamphetamine abuse, as well as alcohol. My few experiences with cocaine have been mediocre, with a few good and a few bad ones, every time realizing why it's really not that great from my perspective.

This last batch that I tried was supposed to be 75% pure, which is amazing for the location that I'm in considering the average stock is usually 20-50%, with purer here and there if you're lucky. The best I had was 1 line of 80%, and I could feel the cleanliness as well as almost no come down, but not too intense (I'm sure if I'd taken more I woulda been high as a motherf*cker). It was quite mood lifting, almost felt like an empty MDMA experience (no empathy or the sort). I did have a dream once when I did a mass of cocaine and I felt better than I had in any MDMA experience, but, it was a dream.

This last experience was not bad. I was drunk but coherent enough to buy some with some friends at the end of a party and went off to do it, my friends taking lines probably 3-4x larger than I was, because we only had time to do one each and leave to our respectable homes. I'm a lightweight and they are bigger than me, if that makes more sense. I was still baffled at the sizes they were cutting up, but more power to them. I felt at a pretty equal level with one of them who I stuck with for the next hour and a half. I ended up staying noticably high for atleast an hour, taking another at that point and then heading home. It was a very social feeling, with little to no true euphoria to it. We smoked a bowl which defenitely enhanced the experience.

I have become insanely obsessed with spiritual life, and think I understand why my body or mind is really not preffering this substance in my body, or life in general. It feels evil in some way, on some level of infinite spirit, chemistry and matter, there is some sort of evil entity attached this molecule in hyperspace. Don't get me wrong, this substance has its fun properties, but I would take speed any day over cocaine, because it is much more euphoric, productive, fun, lengthier, etc., and I'm only talking from doing dexedrine and adderal, and haven't even tried the 'real stuff', which I'd like to some day if I knew it was CLEAN and pure.

I will probably do it again, just like most other things, but cocaine is something I will never go out of my way to buy. Entheogens, hallucinogens, and empathogens will always be my favorite--Pretty much most of the phenethylamine and tryptamine family. Peace everyone.

[Author estimates using a total of 300mg of cocaine during this experience]

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 55607
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Apr 5, 2018Views: 377
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Cocaine (13) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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