Where is my Mind
H.B. Woodrose & Salvia divinorum (10x extract)
by As
Citation:   As. "Where is my Mind: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose & Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp55451)". Erowid.org. Feb 25, 2009. erowid.org/exp/55451

 
DOSE:
4 seeds oral H.B. Woodrose (ground / crushed)
  1 hit smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 10x)
I'm more an alcohol than a drug person, and have never really done anything more potent than weed and absinthe. But with my parents being away I thought I'd order some HBW and some 10x and 15x salvia divinorum. I'm not sure whether it was a combination of chemicals, reading bad reports online or my own sub-conscious that triggered the bad part of this trip, but after ingesting 4 crushed seeds at about 4pm I felt great. Relaxed and happy, the mild trip was uneventful, but unfortunately left me unprepared for the nightmare I was about to face.

In a flash of misguided inspiration, I thought to myself 'Yes, I'm going for the Salvia'. The HBW had made me let my guard down, my promise to myself to get a sitter out of the window. So I loaded the pipe sat down and took a toke of the 10x. It happened in stages.

1. Things around started to appear to have a 2 dimensional, cardboard quality. The pictures on the TV, the TV itself, the room itself essentially became a TV screen.

2. I looked at my hand - it appeared fused - but to nothing in particular. If I was a spiritual person I guess I'd say to time and space or the universe or something but at the time I just thought it looked damn cool.

3. I became aware my lighter I was holding felt like a living organic part of me. An extra finger, perhaps, and I recognised and tried to remember this feeling from my past. A mistake maybe, because this is when it started to go downhill.

4. It was as if the drug had gone up about a dozen gears without me noticing. I suddenly felt trapped, lost and confused and began to panic.

5. I forgot I had taken the drug.

6. I honestly felt like I was the only thing that existed, as if I was a one dimensional creature, living in some strange blackness or void, despite still seeing distorted versions of everything around me. My heart was racing, I was terrified. I thought I would be in this place forever. I felt like a body without a mind.

7. This is the most disturbing part of the experience. Some part of me was trying to convince myself that everything was OK, I was only tripping, it would be over soon. I looked down at my pipe, and kept mumbling 'drug' over and over again, but like everything around me, the word meant nothing to me.

8. I couldn't move, I tried to focus but nothing seemed real to me. Total disconnection from everything and everyone, and absolutely no idea why. I was still trying to console myself but all words and thoughts became a nihilistic tangle in my mind. The only emotion I was feeling was a deep sense of dread and fear.

9. That was when I appeared to snap out of it. I got ran to the bathroom, shaking and sweating all over, tearing at my clothes. 'Drug, drug, drug, its only a drug' I recall saying before sticking my fingers down my throat and collapsing on the tiles. I remember literally hugging the floor, feeling its coolness, just glad to be back from the strange place I had managed to escape from.

I guess that about sums up the Salvia trip. I was still a little shaken and the Saliva appeared to have an adverse affect on the HBW 'trip' I was still having. I was shaken and paranoid. I couldn't sleep because every time and started to breathe evenly, I felt I had stopped and felt the need to take a deep breath.

Now the following morning I am still not sure about the whole thing. Was it as bad as I thought? What triggered it? Will I ever try it again, or have I been scared for life? It will be interesting to see how long this feeling lasts.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 55451
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 25, 2009Views: 5,542
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Salvia divinorum (44), H.B. Woodrose (26) : Alone (16), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5)

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