Citation: Butane. "Recklessness Ending In Hospitalization: An Experience with Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & 5-MeO-DMT) (exp55407)". Erowid.org. Aug 17, 2006. erowid.org/exp/55407
11 days ago, I decided to try an experiment with some 5-MeO-DMT that I had laying around. I had ordered 250mg of it from a certain vendor and not been all that fond of it. I and tried both snorting and smoking it, starting at very low doses with the intention of working up. However, even at very low doses (10mg snorted, and around 10mg smoked, with an accurate scale) I had very uncomfortable feelings in my body, which I assumed was the body load that is characteristic of tryptamines with a 5-MeO. I wanted to break through, but I didn't really have the guts to snort or smoke any more of it because I knew that it I'd feel pretty shitty. I had ordered some Peganum Harmala seeds a long time ago and had them laying around, so I figured I'd combine them.
Let me take a step back and describe my previous experience with psychedelics, as it plays pretty strongly into why I did what I did. I've only tripped on mushrooms once, about two and a half years ago, on a half eighth. It was my first trip ever, and a fabulously enjoyable experience. I've played with Morning Glory and Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds, having one trip on each of them, and while I found them enjoyable, I didn't pursue them further because of the difficulty of ingestion (terrible taste!). About three months ago, I found my first RC vendor and started experimenting with them.
Over the course of those three months, my fellow psychonauts and I (a group of twelve, but very infrequently did we all trip together, usually it was no more than four or five, and very frequently just myself and one or two others) have gone through 2 grams of 2C-I, 1 gram of 2C-E, and .5G of 2C-T-2. We have all gotten to know these compounds intimately, myself more than the others naturally because I did them more often. I can very easily tell the difference between all three of them, if I were given a random sample I'd be able to tell you which one it was within two hours of ingestion. I consider myself a very experienced tripper, and am very familiar with the experience. So, considering myself ready for anything, I thought that I'd be able to start right in on a medium level dose of oral 5-MeO-DMT and be fine.
I read up on Ayahuasca in Tihkal (I own the book) and researched online, and decided on 5g of Peganum Harmala seeds and 30mg of 5-MeO-DMT. I chose such a high dose of Peganum Harmala because I wanted the full, immersive Ayahuasca experience, not just enough MAO inhibition to allow the 5-MeO-DMT to work. I chose the 30mg dose of 5-MeO-DMT. I figured I'd go with the middle ground, not too high, but not cautiously low either. I ground up the seeds and put them into gel caps, and it just so happened that they fit perfectly into ten capsules. I took one capsule every five minutes for fifty minutes, and then on the sixtieth minute I took the 30mg capsule of 5-MeO-DMT.
Within a half hour of beginning my ingestion, I thought that I was off-baseline a little, and thought that I might be seeing some patterning, but I wasn't really sure, and I also felt totally normal. Was I tripping? Was it placebo? Probably a bit of both, so I decided to stop thinking about it and just let it happen. By the time I took my last Peganum Harmala capsule, the patterning was definitely there, but it wasn't very intense, and I had to look for it. It was with great anticipation that I took the 5-MeO-DMT capsule.
Within five minutes of taking it, I was feeling something. I had an empty stomach, so it didn't surprise me. I felt the same uncomfortable feeling in my head that I felt when smoking and snorting it, the exact feeling I was hoping to avoid by taking it orally. Why I thought it wouldn't be there orally I'm not sure, but it made sense at the time. That kind of irked me, but I figured that if I was already feeling that at five minutes, there would be no doubt that I was going to break through, which is what I wanted.
Ten minutes after taking the capsule, I was feeling pretty sick and tripping pretty hard. I was in a very strange headspace, one I've never been in before. I was perfectly normal, but yet I was absolutely, totally gone. I knew there would be no way for me to walk home. I decided to go and lay down somewhere. I was at a park, so I went to a nearby uninhabited and abandoned school and hid behind some bushes and laid down. At that point, perhaps fifteen minutes after taking the 5-MeO-DMT, I was tripping harder than I'd ever tripped in my life, and I knew that I had a long way to go. I tried unsuccessfully to make myself vomit. I knew that I had to get the stuff out of me, but it wasn't happening.
My visual field was totally altered, colors were vibrant beyond belief, the patterns were so intense that they weren't even there anymore, everything was made out of fractals. I started to claw at the ground, but I wasn't sure why. I had to do it, it was voluntary, yet I couldn't control it, I couldn't stop it, but I was in control of it. I clawed so hard at the ground that I actually took about an inch and a half of dirt off of an area about a square foot in size.
At that point, my memory stops. The next place it picks up, I'm in a different place, still hiding in bushes, having sex. At least, I thought I was having sex, but I wasn't really. I remember thinking 'Wow, I've been waiting all my life for this and it's finally happening! It's pretty awesome, no doubt, but it's not as big a deal as I've worked it up to be.' It felt fantastic. Again, my memory stops. I woke up in a hospital bed the next day with an IV in my arm, absolutely covered in scratches and scrapes that had very painfully scabbed over, and my parents by my side. I had no idea how the scratches got there.
While I was laying in the bed, It felt like I was dreaming some very strange dreams. I remembered talking to one of my fellow psychonauts, a friend of mine who'd only tripped with me once, on 2C-T-2. He was talking to me, but I wasn't saying anything back. 'Hey man, what's up. ... Are you tripping? ... How much did you take? ... Are you going to be alright?' That's all I remembered of the dream. It was very peculiar. After talking to my parents a bit, they told me that it was in fact him that found me and called 911. The strange dream memory actually happened! I was astounded by that realization, as it seemed totally unreal.
My friend thought I was on 2C-I, as it was what I usually had around and shared, and told that to the policeman who arrived before the ambulance. I found out that they had been unable to restrain me at my local hospital, so they rushed me to a much larger hospital in the cities. They said they gave me massive doses of antipsychotic medication, but 'they didn't have much effect.' Failing that, they gave me high doses of sedatives to put me to sleep, and that made me incredibly groggy. After talking to my parents and finding all this out, I went back to sleep.
After another night in the hospital, for a total of two nights spent there, they released me. That night, I slept very poorly. I kept waking up, and when I woke up, I had a very strange flashback of a memory. It was of me, sitting on a stairstep or bench or something, the friend who had called 911 by my side, and me facing a policeman. I tried to get up, but he said, 'Sit down now, sit down,' and then said something into his radio. That's all I remembered. I have no doubt that it actually happened.
Over these last eleven days, I've had very strange flashbacks in which the visuals will come back, sometimes stronger than others. The length of the flashbacks is totally random. They also seem to be brought on by both caffeine and nicotine, although in the last three or four days this effect seems to have disappeared. Also, whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, which happens fairly frequently, I am tripping, sometimes quite hard. In the pitch black of my room, and with my eyes closed, I see swirling, flashing colors, and sometimes experience a very vivid effect like reliving a memory, except the memory never happened. This too seems to have faded in the last three or four days, but it's still definitely there.
I've realized that I have been using psychedelics far too often in my life, and I've been using them more as a cure for boredom than as a self-exploration tool like I initially did. I've decided to take a total break from mind-altering substances to get back into the rhythm of life without them. I need to remember what I did for fun before drugs, and get back into that routine. I'm starting college in less than two weeks, and I doubt I'll have the time or money for drugs anyway.
Although the experience was not an enjoyable one, I learned a lot about safety and why not to abuse psychedelics from it. It achieved its purpose, and was not wasted. I'm really looking forward to my life in the future, I have a lot of good things ahead of me, and I don't want to screw it up. Although I screwed up big with this experience, it made sure that I won't screw up like that again in the future, when it really counts.
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