Like Nothing Else, My Dreams
Diphenhydramine
Citation:   Patient 14. "Like Nothing Else, My Dreams: An Experience with Diphenhydramine (exp55362)". Erowid.org. Oct 7, 2007. erowid.org/exp/55362

 
DOSE:
32 tablets oral Diphenhydramine (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 108 lb
I am quite young, and live in one of the more expensive areas of the suburbs. This was my first true drug expieriance, all that I had had up until that point in my life was some DXM and alcohol. I can also quite honestly say it was the greatest experience in my life so far.

I had recently been suspended from school and was staying at my aunt's house. I had heard about the fantastic affects of certain sleeping pills. I purchased a box of them and downed all 32. One of the pills broke when I was attempting to remove it from the box, and when I ate it, it tasted strong and numbed my mouth. I didn't think that the experience would be much more than that of alcohol, so I didn't take much precaution in securing myself or making sure no one was home. For the first half hour nothing happened except a tired feeling, and I was dissapointed, so I just napped on the sofa.

I don't know how long I slept. When I woke up, I was upset because I thought I had slept the high off, but then I moved my legs, and they were convulsing and shaking. It felt amazing! I felt like I was possessed with this feeling, that it just flowed through me. I couldn't stop it or control it, it just was. I loved not having to think about something, that I was just free. My breathing was slow, shaky. I felt it run through me, and I was so relaxed.

I stood up and welcomed euphoria. I don't really remember walking, I just remember standing in the middle of the kitchen, and then feeling really heavy. But this was different then anything I had ever felt before. I felt like I was sinking, and it was special. It felt really good too. I rejoiced and walked around the living room. I circled around a coffee table, and remember breaking and kicking things across the room. I remember my subconscious telling me to stop, but then just asking myself, 'Why Stop?' I had not a care in the world. I stumbled around in utter bliss. I also have a faint memory where I beleive I called my real father and gave him a piece of my mind. But I'm still not sure if it happened or not, and have no way of verifying it because we haven't spoken since.

My aunt came downstairs and asked me if I wanted a glass of orange juice. And that's basically all I remember. The truth about this drug is that it is excellant, amazing, incredable, but its very hard to remember anything after I take it. I remember certain moments like photographs, like flashes. I don't remember waking up in the hospital. It's like I just appeared there. The first thing I do remember is blood being taken from me. Five viles I believe. No pain, and I am usually quite squimish about those things. They moved me to another hospital, and I was moving slow, shaking, in complete ecstasy. I believe I was in a straight jacket, but I'm just not sure.

In the ambulance, a very nice, young, handsome doctor began to speak to me. I was in about a half and half state. Not really there, not too far to speak. He asked me numerous questions, which ranged from if I had attempted suicide to my favorite subject in school. He was friendly and I just focused on his face the entire time. I was friendly too. I wasn't scared, and I'm usually tense and antisocial in any public situation. He asked me if my friends or me had ever done drugs, and I denied, saying they never would do that, which is true. For once I felt laid back and happy. I had this terribly dry mouth. My lips were cracked and I felt like the skin in my mouth was sort of peeling. On the long hall into the hospital, I had a clear vision of my best friend. I was thrilled she had come to see me and wish me well! She stayed with me and reassured me through the hallway and commotion, and I felt so eased. I asked for her later, and called my aunt by her name, but she never was there to begin with.

I was placed in a comfortable hospital bed. And took yet another nap. I woke up and was convinced I was in my own bedroom, and demanded that everyone get the out. My adoptive mother told me she wasn't mad with me, eyes full of tears, and I cursed and screamed at everyone until she fled. At this time my room morphed into the hospital room, almost like a wave into focus. It was beautiful. But I was horrified when I realized where I was, and demanded to go home. I screamed and cried and shouted until some evil old fat bitch of a nurse came in and screamed at me. She threatened to strap me down to the bed and I just shouted back that they couldn't give me unwanted medical treatment. I was so destroyed when I realized my aunt wouldn't let me go home, even though I begged and pleaded. I stayed there through the night, crying and saddened. I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I sat there through various idiots touching my breasts, putting their stupid monitors on my chest to hear my heartbeat. I wasn't fully there, so it wasn't that bad, but still I can only imagine what they did to me that I can't remember, because I'm still missing my underwear that I wore that day.

I pissed about 2 fuckn gallons over the course of that night. The bastards wouldn't even let me fully close the door to piss. Another thing I remember was looking at the mirror in the corner of my hospital room, and seeing my eyes, huge, black pits. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It reminded me so much of the nirvana song, 'drain you', and now I knew exactly what Cobain meant.

I'm still not sure exactly how long I stayed at the hospital. I was in a very hazy state through this whole thing, and I don't really talk to my guardians. I do know it was at least over night. I know that there was no reason for any ambulance or help to be called. My aunt was just probably confused and didn't know what was going on. I just sat there with a water IV in my hand pumping me full of liquid to 'get the medication out faster.' The whole thing about the hospital was complete bullshit, especially since my 'mom' was a hippie at one time. I have no brain damage. The only lasting effects I have now from this are positive and beautiful. I have these terrificly creative and very life like dreams when I sleep now, and it used to be rare that I ever had any dreams at all. I loved it, I loved everything about it.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 55362
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 7, 2007Views: 83,493
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Diphenhydramine (109) : First Times (2), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Glowing Experiences (4), Various (28)

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