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I Saw the End of Existence
Ether
by Dope
Citation:   Dope. "I Saw the End of Existence: An Experience with Ether (exp55245)". Erowid.org. Mar 27, 2008. erowid.org/exp/55245

 
DOSE:
  inhaled Ether (liquid)


[Erowid Note: The "water extraction" method is ineffective in separating diethyl ether from the volatile hydrocarbon liquids/gases in "starter fluid". Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile hydrocarbon gases: their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage.]

Last month I decided to huff some ether. I'd done it once, and kinda freaked out. I was told that I tried to jump out of my friend's car on the highway, but I don't remember doing that. I thought since I knew what to expect I would be able to control myself. wrong. This time I had one of my friends watch me to make sure I didn't have a repeat of the last time I did it.

I extracted some ether from starter fluid, put it on a rag, and started huffing. immediatly my mind started going in circles. I felt as if everything happened in a pattern. I realized that this was exactly what I felt like the last time I did it, but I just kept going. I felt as if I was going insane, I couldn't make sense of anything. At one point I thought my arm had turned into a box, that I was trapped inside. I was trying to get out of it but I couldn't. I heard a voice laughing at me because I couldn't escape. My friend told me that as I was 'trying to get out'. I was waving my arms around and screaming.

Well, the box disappeared, along with the right side of my body, and then I saw all of existence coming to an end right in front of me. I was coming to a point where everything, including myself, would be gone. Needless to say I was scared shitless. Imagine being pulled up the hill of a roller coaster, looking over the first drop, and seeing the track end right at the ground. For the first time in my life I felt what it was like to know that I was about to die. But right when I thought all was over, I was reborn. I snapped back into reality with best feeling I've ever had. Everything was new and beautiful.

I've been sober since.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 55245
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 27, 2008Views: 18,180
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Ether (131) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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