Citation: Dope. "I Saw the End of Existence: An Experience with Ether (exp55245)". Erowid.org. Mar 27, 2008. erowid.org/exp/55245
The "water extraction" method is ineffective in separating diethyl ether from the volatile hydrocarbon liquids/gases in "starter fluid". Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile hydrocarbon gases: their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage.]
Last month I decided to huff some ether. I'd done it once, and kinda freaked out. I was told that I tried to jump out of my friend's car on the highway, but I don't remember doing that. I thought since I knew what to expect I would be able to control myself. wrong. This time I had one of my friends watch me to make sure I didn't have a repeat of the last time I did it.
I extracted some ether from starter fluid, put it on a rag, and started huffing. immediatly my mind started going in circles. I felt as if everything happened in a pattern. I realized that this was exactly what I felt like the last time I did it, but I just kept going. I felt as if I was going insane, I couldn't make sense of anything. At one point I thought my arm had turned into a box, that I was trapped inside. I was trying to get out of it but I couldn't. I heard a voice laughing at me because I couldn't escape. My friend told me that as I was 'trying to get out'. I was waving my arms around and screaming.
Well, the box disappeared, along with the right side of my body, and then I saw all of existence coming to an end right in front of me. I was coming to a point where everything, including myself, would be gone. Needless to say I was scared shitless. Imagine being pulled up the hill of a roller coaster, looking over the first drop, and seeing the track end right at the ground. For the first time in my life I felt what it was like to know that I was about to die. But right when I thought all was over, I was reborn. I snapped back into reality with best feeling I've ever had. Everything was new and beautiful.
I've been sober since.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.