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The Feeling
Citation:   Mind Explorer. "The Feeling: An Experience with Bromo-Dragonfly (exp54544)". Erowid.org. Jul 13, 2006. erowid.org/exp/54544

T+ 0:00
500 ug oral Bromo-Dragonfly (blotter / tab)
  T+ 15:00   smoked Tobacco  
[Erowid Note: Some blotter sold and thought to be Bromo-Dragonfly has been shown to actually contain DOB. There is reason to suspect that some or even all descriptions of Bromo-Dragonfly on blotter are instead, DOB, LSD, or another long acting compound.]

I am a young man living in Northern Europe, and have previously had moderate experience with psychedelics (only cannabis and LSA so far). My friend (Iīll refer to him as X from now on) has experienced many psychedelics (cannabis, LSA, LSD, DXM, Psilocybe Semilanceata mushrooms).

Now the time had came to experience Bromo-Dragonfly. Before the trip I do what I always do: lots of research on the substance!

Anyways. I had bought two 500 microgram blotters of Bromo-Dragonfly. Me and X had low expectations on them, because we had in the same shipment, from the same supplier, gotten 2C-T-7 pills which were total crap, no effects whatsoever.It was a Saturday and I was sure that this weekend was going to be calm and chore less. Another good thing was that I had slept about 14 hrs. Perfect for a trip.

Me and X were at my house just chillinī. My other friend (Iīll refer to him as Y from this point) came to my house as well, he was going to travel to Southern Europe later the same day.

7:00 PM: Me and X places the blotters in our mouths, shifting their location between the palate and under the tounge.

7:10 PM: We swallow the blotters.

7:15 PM: Y says that he needs to leave. X and I also bought a 3 gram cake of powerful hashish, just in case the blotters donīt work. Y drives me and X down to Xīs home. This is when I feel the first, barely noticeable effects. Me and X feel alert like we have drunk two cups of coffee. We agree that itīs something in these blotters thatīs giving an effect.

We arrive at Xīs home. Y wishes me a good trip. Me and X enter Xīs home.

7:30-9:30 PM: Chillinī and waiting for the substance to take full effect. The physical and mental feeling of 'something being out of the ordinary' is slowly growing. At 9:30 I feel nature calling and I go to the toilet to take a shit. While Iīm sitting there, I look down at some newspapers lying on the toilet floor. I notice an Ray-Ban advertisement, which has a picture of a man wearing sunglasses in it. Suddenly his face is beginning to morph. I see him smiling and frowning at me. When I look up, the toilet is shining red. 'Holy shit... Here it comes!' was my first thought. I wipe my backside and look in the mirror. My pupils are beginning to dilate.

10:00-12:00 PM: Visuals are growing in intensity. We watch 'Robocop 2', and I find myself laughing at the bloody scenes. X says he can see through Robocopīs skull and see the brain. X smokes some hash to 'boost the effect', ignoring my warning that he is not peaking on the Bromo yet. We have to go out for a walk with his dog, following a path that leads us 100 metres into the forest. X releases the dog and sits down. I ask him 'How do you feel? What do you see?'

He replied 'I see evil forces and creatures, coming to get me. But Iīm going to stand my ground as a true soldier. Iīm training myself.'
I didnīt see anything evil in the dark woods, just beautiful rainbow colored trails and patterns. After a while, we go inside again.

12:00 PM to 10:00 AM: Peaking. Totally. We compare our pupils to a pupil measurement chart, they were off the scale in dilation. Visuals are everywhere and are truly beautiful. Everything I see has a cartoonish, synthetic look to it. When I look at my friend his face is morphing, and picture of his dog on the computer screen is constantly morphing with rainbow trails. X describes his visuals as: 'LSD, straight off.' 'A total stirring soup.' Me and Xīs palms are sweating heavily, our heartbeats are faster, and our body temperatures are elevated. The body buzz is exactly like the type from amphetamine, according to X. I realized that Bromo must raise serotonin levels, because I was so happy to the degree that anything negative, external or internal, poured off me like water. Xīs dog picked up on the happy feelings, it wagged itīs tail constantly and licked our faces.

Anyways, Me and X discuss if we should see a movie. Our choice falls on 'Ace Ventura 2'. I just felt the need to analyze Jim Carrey while on Bromo. It took us about 1 hour to find the movie. Xīs movies are DivX format movies burnt on DVD-R discs, with the titles written on them. Very hard to find in our tripping state and, of course, itīs very hard to read the titles when the letters are floating around!

Watching it was wonderful. We both laughed our asses off. The next movie we watched was 'Ace Ventura 1', continuing the laughing spree.
I came to the conclusion: Jim Carrey is a comedy genius. Every gesture he makes, especially when on Bromo, makes total sense and gives the intended reaction, hilarious laughter.

We were both sweating much and urinating abnormally often, so we were constantly drinking water even out the body’s water balance. I did the same on LSA.

When we felt somewhat physically better, put on 'Me, Myself and Irene'. Itīs about the character Jim Carrey plays who gets a schizophrenic break because he bottles up his emotions. It was fun as hell on Bromo, but when I think about it in retrospect, it’s probably one of the poorest choices of a movie to watch while on a psychedelic substance.

After about half the movie (5 AM), X goes into the bathroom. I don’t hear any sounds of urination, just some strange sounds that resembles laughing, and I wonder what’s taking him so long so I ask him 'What are you doing?' He replies 'Crying!', and I say 'Come here! Don’t be there all alone!'

He comes out. 'Whatīs up?' I said. He replies, crying heavily: 'Itīs the feeling' 'THE FEELING!' 'All of my feelings are coming at once: happiness, anger, sex lust, pain, depression, irritation, joy, sadness, sorrow!' 'Iīm being ripped apart! Hold on to me!'

I held his arm, his body truly felt like it was ripping itself to shreds. I picked up on the energy which he called 'The Feeling' by holding on to him. It was to great for any human to handle, divine and hellish at the same time. 'The Feeling' was the sum of all human feelings merging. He hugged me and I hugged him.

I was Ying, he was Yang. We were in perfect balance. I was stability, he was chaos. I was the tree he could cling on to in the storm.

X was focused to join up all our energies (me, him and the dog). He yelled out 'I don’t want to live in pain no more! I ainīt an evil person, I want to live in happiness!'. He also said this which felt terrible: 'I see now that I have two choices: 1. To live my life and live it better. 2. To end my life now.' I said: 'I want you to live and find happiness, which I know will come to you!' He replied 'I choose life!'

I gave him a cigarette and told him to sit down and chill with me. He did, and for 10 seconds he snapped out of the psychedelic crisis he was experiencing and wondered 'Why are you holding me?' As soon as he said that, he snapped back and started crying again. He said 'Show me happiness', and I held on to him and cried tears of joy.

I told X that we both needed to rest (about 8 AM), so we laid down in his bed.

He kissed me. It felt so strange. We are both heterosexual and find no attraction to anything else but women, but in this crisis condition he was in I knew that the best way I could help him was to let him do it. He is one of my two best friends, and I would give my life for his if necessary.

I called him by his name every time I spoke to him, to which he always answered 'You can call me_____.' 'But I ainīt ______'. 'I donīt exist'. 'And you ainīt ___'. 'You are _________, my brother'.

He saw his dead twin brother’s face instead of mine, and when I tried to rest he yelled 'Don’t leave me!' 'Don’t die!' He also tried to give me CPR, since he believed that I (in his eyes, his brother) was dying.

I explained to him, over and over, that his brother had been dead for years and that he probably is in a better place, and that I’m ___, and you are ______ (real names). He said 'It’s important that you repeat this over and over to me, so I can understand it' 'I can’t comprehend reality at all'. I also repeated to him that the substance we had taken was called 'Bromo-Dragonfly', and that’s what is affecting us. He answered alternately for a long time 'I have taken the substance called joy' 'I have taken the substance Bromo-Dragonfly'.

He said that he felt that we were dying, he saw visions (which he believed were reality) of our tombstones. I said that we both need to rest and possibly sleep. He answered: 'Ok. Letīs lie down and die together.' 'Hold my hand, donīt let go.' I said 'Ok. Letīs lie down and let us die away (sleep away) from this inebriation and be resurrected like the Phoenix bird, sober and back at baseline (tricking his mind).' X insisted that we needed to hold 'connection' to sleep (he had been obsessed with 'connection' through most of the trip). When he believed that the connection was broken, he yelled 'NO! NO!' continuously. Extremely irritating for me, who has perfect hearing, and also had heightened it with Bromo.

After that X said he didn’t remember any human functions at all. He didnīt remember how to sleep or relax. I explained to him: 'We canīt hold hands, but I’ll be right next to you.' 'Lie still, close your eyes, don’t think, don’t talk, just feel the relaxation spreading through you.' I think I repeated this 20 times to him.

It didn’t work for him, nor me. Our bodies and minds were filled with a amphetamine-like buzz, sleep was impossible in this state.

10 AM-10 PM: The LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNG comedown. This period was so frustrating. Visuals and mental effects were slowly wearing off, one tiny bit per hour. Pupils were retracting, one tiny bit per hour also. Me and X were extremely sweaty. It felt like 5 litres of liquids were sweated out per hour, so we refilled it by drinking water constantly.

We both just want to come down to baseline, dammit!

Waiting. Sweating. Smoking. Waiting. Sweating. Smoking.

Thatīs how these 12 comedown hours could be described at best.

Smoking while on Bromo tastes awful, but I do it often forgetting the filthiness of tobacco.

The mental and physical exhaustion were strong. We tried to sleep. But the amphetamine-like buzz wouldnīt let us do that. I experienced visions with my eyes closed and had 'internal discussions' with voices in my head. Interesting, but I knew that they were not real. But I experienced a vision of a woman’s nether regions descending on me. This made me so horny that I needed to masturbate. I went into the bathroom. It took 45 seconds for me to ejaculate and it felt even more heavenly than being sober doing it. I usually can’t control my libido when I’m on drugs.

My mother called me at 1:00 PM, she wanted me to help her with some shopping. I said that I hadn’t slept because me and X were up talking and watching movies all night. She got really pissed off, and I heard on her voice that she suspected that I had taken something. I just ignored her, and tried to sleep.

We had to go for a walk with the dog about 4 PM, the dog had not wanted to go out at all since 11 PM the previous day. She (the dog) had been watching over us and probably knew that we were in an altered state. We went out. The trail and pattern visuals had decreased, but the world outside looked completely synthetic. The light stung our still rather dilated pupils, making us squint. We couldn’t take it, and went inside. When we came in, I experienced the worst sweating of my life. I took a long shower, which was a good 'reality check' and very refreshing.

At 10 PM, we both reached baseline. Finally!

I went home to myself, watched some TV and fell asleep about 0:00 AM. I slept for 6 hours, I had to go to work in the morning. I felt alert and energetic the whole day (Monday).

The trip lasted for 24 hours.

Overall, I liked Bromo. The peak was filled with happy, positive feelings and beautiful, high-resolution, colorful visuals. The final 12 come-down hours I could have done without.

My friend liked it too, even though he was experiencing confusion, merging of feelings, reality loss, ego dissolution, ego loss and ego death. He was definitely close to having a psychosis, but I steered him out from it. He went back to normal straight after the trip like me.

Bromo definitely wasn’t mild, but it wasn’t super-intense either. The Bromo I took was of the 'European Batch' which is said to be much stronger than the 'US Batch'.

I have learned a thing from Bromo: to (metaphorically speaking) 'find the sunrays shining through the dark rain-filled clouds', which means that I, today, look more on the positive side of things and thereby don’t get depressed much nowadays. I’ve learned both from Bromo (and other psychedelics) to steer out negative lines of thought, and that’s something I use everyday.

Psychedelics have improved my life, no doubt.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 54544
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 13, 2006Views: 34,388
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Bromo-Dragonfly (349) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)

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