Citation: Austen Brauker. "Thought Motion: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (leaves) (exp54513)". Erowid.org. Jan 9, 2009. erowid.org/exp/54513
July 11th 2006. First Salvia experience. I bought a fresh steamroller type pipe with a small bowl and smoked it, and myself, down with sweetgrass to prepare for the journey. I sat with my legs folded and propped up the oil painting in front of me called “sleeping dreamer” from the front cover of my first novel. My watcher sat in a chair off to the side and I opened the Salvia Divinorum 5x extract. I was not nervous but expectant. What I read about the Salvinorin-A chemical effect was intriguing. States of non-ordinary awareness are useful in my endeavor to stretch my understanding of consciousness. Having this intent is probably a helpful state of mind have while undergoing this path.
I filled the bowl with a good one hit of Salvia leaves and put the lighter to work. I inhaled rapidly and held the hit for as long as I could and the effects were immediate. A humming buzz was vibrating the edges of my visual periphery and it seemed as if matter had become tiny balls that were coming unglued. I still retained my normal linear thought and still had control of my movements though it seemed to take a while to decide to move. I was thinking hundreds of thoughts describing what I was experiencing and could still see my watcher in the room. The feeling was warm and there was no fear. The wave of vibration grew and linear thought was interrupted. I felt a dissolution of ego and human form, physically and cognitively.
The effect faded as rapidly as it had come on and I was left with an inability to verbalize the depth of the experience. My watcher asked if it was like tripping and I responded that, no, it was different but found it hard to explain. I felt good, though slightly dazed. No headache or nausea. No heart racing or shakes. A great sense of peace settled upon me and I loaded the bowl again.
The second time I knew a little more of what to expect. I took another large hit and held it in. It seems that this must be done forcefully and rapidly for full effect, which I found out the next day. There is some sense of confusion during the experience. The second hit came on the same as the first and I perceived auditory hallucinations. I could see a two dimensional membrane that was really the world and it was formed like a collage like someone had ripped up the universe and tried to put the pieces back together too fast, leaving edges where I could see light coming through the cracks. There was something else behind it, another realm appearing to be just a void of white light. I had the feeling that I could penetrate this barrier but something in me was clinging to the picture and I wasn’t ready to break through it, only because I would not let myself.
There was an uncomfortable wrenching feeling like I was being spun on an infinitely large wheel along with everything else that belonged to this plane. I had a loathing for physicality but still clung to my personality which kept me from totally letting go. I felt like I was being forced and saw the consciousness of humanity represented as a 2d image as if it were a holographic master plate for everything I have known as “real”. All of these scenes continued with the same mechanical spinning motion and the force of the motion was tearing it apart like fabric. I could almost see the strands in the cloth but it was made of an intangible film of light that had no solidity. Four giant arms spinning on a central axis point started to rip the flat looking picture and I could hear all kinds of people talking. It was like they were part of the abstract picture in front of me and were squirming around trying to get comfortable within it. Some of the voices seemed familiar and I realized that I was in there too. I was a part of this hideous trick that I once bought as being true. It was showing me the core of the human illusion. The idea of humanity was repulsing in a way because of its aggressive ignorance. I knew that I was the same way and it kinda pissed me off, but more so, was psychologically sickening to me that people believed in the material world that we think we live in.
The arms were still spinning as if they were beneath the picture, making it ripple on the surface from the pressure beneath it. It tore open in four places and kept spinning like tattered flags that still had the drawings of the world on them. Behind it was the same void of white light that I saw before. There was a repeating sense of infinity where time was meaningless and I struggled against it. There was a repeating series of words and one that was more important than the rest. It held special significance. I wanted to retain it and pronounce it but it was just beyond my grasp. I could almost hear it but it was as if I was being whispered to in colors instead of words. It seemed to dance around being elusive while I tried to comprehend it. It went with the motion of the spinning fragments of the torn world, spinning clockwise, and then started to recede.
I felt the sensation of thought motion, as if I were returning to physicality merely be a rearrangement of my existing beliefs. My cognitive archetypes started to reconstruct and I returned to my body, the world reassembled with it. Normal thought casually resumed as if it was covering up the tracks of my previous path. I had the sensation that a part of myself was trying to hide another part of myself. The experience was not comparable to other ethneogens. Bodily, it felt like nitrous oxide and a mushroom peak put together. The thought sensation was very different though along with the sense of frozen time. I have never felt such an immediate disconnection from my physical body. There were no apparent negative side effects. I felt peaceful and happy for hours afterward.
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