Citation: Gleetnorx. "Real Buzzkill Tech: An Experience with Naltrexone (exp54279)". Erowid.org. Jul 6, 2007. erowid.org/exp/54279
I took .1 mg clonidine at 9 AM and 15 mg (1/4 full dose) naltrexone at 930 AM. This is my first time taking Naltrexone ever. I'm an alcoholic and I've been sober for three days. Naltrexone was prescribed to me for the purpose of preventing a relapse.
I'm experiencing no significant urges at all, just some self pitying thoughts creating despair around all this. The naltrexone is working alrite, and quickly, though in a strange kind of way~ its like I can tell from the way I am feeling that alcohol wouldn't work even if I tried it. The feeling is ineffable, difficult to describe~
this drug really is 'buzzkill tech' and the urges truly are repressed, doesn't do a thing for attitude though. I found myself resenting it somehow, almost as if it were a 'chemical cop' cruising my body.
This soliloquy from Macbeth came to mind~
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's bit a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! ah fie!
I chose not to take naltrexone this morning, uncomfortable over the way it made me feel yesterday in spite of its effectiveness. Well, there's some insight into why bipolars stop taking their lithium ... Better to have the highs with the lows than a mediocre flat state. Naltrexone may shut down braincells' ability to enjoy things thru their opiod receptors but I think that's the wrong end on which to attack the problem. The real problem is lack of beta endorphins. More skillful to help a person feel better sober than kill the potential for enjoyment, a better motivator.
Naltrexone felt to me as if it took away all appetites, food, libido, etc. Maybe that's my 'Addictive Voice' speaking there, but it really was what I experienced, spoz it could be some kind of placebo effect produced by the AV, but that idea seems kinda paranoid anyway.
I'm cautious with new pharmacueticals. These thing can have strange or unpleasant side effects and one never knows how one's chemistry might react. Glad I titrated from a small initial dose, hence the 15 mg start yesterday, w/naltrexone full on dose being 50 mg. I'm glad I did.
In fairness I can see the usefulness of this drug. It really does effectively kill urges to drink. Naltrexone's makers make the claim that drinkers stop drinking much faster when on it too. From what I experienced on it I'd bet the farm that's true.
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