Citation: Localhost. "Love Wrapped Up in a Pill: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp53615)". Erowid.org. Nov 29, 2008. erowid.org/exp/53615
||(pill / tablet)
The following is my personal semi-first time experience with MDMA.
I've only rolled once before, the pill was a 'White Star' which I believe contained MDA, due to the weak effects. Also a few hours before I sipped a deuce of lean (Promethazine/Codeine syrup) which makes me incredibly sleepy. I ended up taking the roll, put on some calming music and fell asleep. Heh, not too smart. Luckily I woke up about 1 hour later but was caught in a trippy, combination of sleep and happiness. Slightly enjoyable but mostly a waste of $25.
About two months later I was talking to one of my friends about my huge craving for Magic Mushrooms. So he called up his dealer and told me all he had was ecstasy, 16 rolls for $145. Now this is a pretty good deal, a little over $9 a pill. So I figured I could sell em cheap and fast, and be able to roll for free. The dealer, like most around here, claimed that they contained heroin, I didn't have the guts to tell him what an idiot he was though. After selling 14 of them, I felt really bad, as I had no idea what was in these pills. I live just minutes from Mexico so I wasn't quite sure what exactly I had been dealing. With just two rolls I decided I'd try them out and see if they we're even any good.
I popped two pills at about 7:25pm, and continued to finish the movie I had been watching. After about 20mins my heart began to ache, almost as if I'd just taken a large dose of caffeine. 'Just great!' I thought, I probably took some bull crap pills, go figure they were so cheap. I finished the movie about 45mins later so I figured if I wasn't gonna roll, then I might as well enjoy myself, so I turned on my strobe light and started up some techno. I laid back in my bed and put my arms up in the air and began to wave them back and forth. They felt as if they were made of rubber and could bend any which way.
I slowly began to lose myself into the music, I could feel the bass pumping in my blood. I thought this must just be a placebo effect, that I was just imagining this feeling. As I starred up at my ceiling fan I noticed the awesome effect my strobe light had on it. I had this feeling that everything around me was perfectly in sync, the music, the lights, even my heart beat.
Suddenly a near-unexplainable combination of warmth, excitement, just pure happiness began to surge throughout my arms and legs. It felt as if my insides suddenly began to flood with this amazing ecstasy. I got lost in the music many times in a sort of trance. I started mumbling to myself. I would say, 'I love you bass', and 'I love you ecstasy', then I started humming to beats of the music. Everything felt amazingly soft, I began to rub my arms and legs together.
I stood up and walked around as the only was I can describe, like a monkey. I was hunched over and walked really close to the ground. I felt like a baby, exploring my house with a newly found excitement. My mom has many odd paintings through out my house that I usually find rather frightening. This time I looked deep into this sun's eyes and found a sort of inner beauty. I felt a sudden understanding and compassion for the sun and still do.
I looked into the mirror and saw how utterly huge my pupils had become. I was amazed and afraid at the same time. I continued to listen to my music but after about an hour and a half, I knew my mom would be coming home relatively soon. I turned off my computer and strobe light, and went outside to look up into the sky. I laid down on my yard and gazed up at the moon and clouds. The clouds began to scatter and distort then instantly snap back in place. I felt a cool breeze come over me. It was a wonderful day. My mom came home about 20min later and joined me on the floor. We both laid back and looked into the sky enjoying this glorious experience.
After she left my head began to burn, followed by every other body part. I went back inside, took out my contacts and laid down in my bed. I was drenched in sweat and laid there for what seemed like forever. I just couldn't sleep. I felt wired, and my so far great trip began to crashed. I started grinding my teeth and had hundreds of worried thoughts racing through my mind. Such that I had no idea what chemicals I'm ingesting and I was worried that I would never feel better again. I had this fear of taking any sort of psychoactive drug, that I may some how never be the same again. After about 20mins of that I began to think clearly again and was no longer afraid. I didn't sleep at all that night mainly because of my teeth grinding and high sensitivity to sound. But don't get me wrong, this was the greatest experience of my life. Even the day after I feel that I have a far more positive attitude toward everything in life.
I know this is a rather long experience submission, but I have yet to tell any one about what happened so I really just needed to vent, hopefully, someone can gather some sort of advice/help from my report. Also please excuse my cliche language as I am far from an experienced writer. I'm simply a recently made happy person.
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