One Year and Still Going...
Citation: drugvet. "One Year and Still Going...: An Experience with Lorazepam (exp51993)". Erowid.org. Jul 1, 2020. erowid.org/exp/51993
I have used almost every drug the government tells us not to, and all I can say is that my life, all thirty years of it, have been one hell of a discovery. My relationship with mind altering substances began at 15, and I have no intention on stopping now.
Note: I started at 15 not because I had not been 'talked to about drugs' as the government likes to advertise, but because I had been lied to about everything else they said, and because I was suspicious of the DARE officer (back when it FIRST started) and thought drugs were no different. For the most part, I was right. That being said,
I have 'abused' as 'they' like to call it, almost every drug that 'works' if you know what I mean. I had fun doing it, and I was damn careful not to OD or otherwise damage myself. I quit doing all drugs for a few years to 'serve' my country (BIG mistake !) When they were through with me, I was broken mentally and physically. I was a sad wreck. What had happened to the responsible, carefree, drug using person I used to be? So I started smoking cannabis again (that helped) but I still had real problems relating to service. I went to get 'help' as 'they' like to say.
I have been using ativan for over a year now. I get 90 a month and take three a day. I was told by my doc that this was the 'gold standard' of benzodiazepines. I thought 'cool, this is enough to get me fucked up for one week a month!' Little did I know that I would end up taking these as prescribed. They have changed my life, and I could not imagine not having access to them. I hesitate to sound like I am addicted to these; I feel no withdrawal whatsoever IF I drop to half dose and then stop for a while --you know, for finals and shit. (The morphine, I am sad to say, is the opposite --I hate running out of that shit, but that and the percocet is the only thing that has worked now that I have constant pain due to skeletal damage.)
Upon noble dosage with 1mg (meaning not other medication) one can expect a calm feeling within ten to fifteen minutes, but it lasts most of the day. For faster results place the pill under the tongue and let it dissolve --has no taste, unlike the numbing sweetness of valium or the chemical taste of xanax. The effects of lorazepam are somewhat subdued when compared to fast-acting benzos such as the aformentioned, however, dose-doubling has far stronger affect in the long run.
I have used more than I was supposed to of course. Primarily because the doctor said that some days it was ok to take two and then others take three. I like having latitude with my dosing, and I like having a doctor that understands that. So, on 'bad' days, I may take four at once (very rarely though) and that is enough to calm my rage and discontent. It also makes that damn ringing stop (Without ativan, I hear the sound on the movie 'The Ring' right before someone dies. But constantly. With ativan, I hear it, but it is reduced to the background.)
Alcohol has a significant effect on ativan --it makes it somewhat stronger, but also makes the user very tired (me, anyway). I would be careful about drinking too much while on it, I refrain from getting 'drunk' though.
Morphine and other opiates are somewhat potentiated on ativan, although for me it is hard to tell anymore.
Cannabis seems to work very well with just about anything, but benzos in particular. They potentiate each other to a some degree, but do not occlude one another --each substance clearly has independent effects.
Why is that the people who never used drugs regulate them so viciously? I will tell you my opinion. Historically, bigots, racists, politicians, corporations, and in general, all slave owners, have relucted to place one of experience and knowledge into a postion where said experience and knowledge would be beneficial, this is, I think, because of the colonial mindset that dictates that if item A can be used to control population B, then no member of population B can ever regulate item A. My proof? Any dickhead motherfucker like a US drug czar that tells people 'not to ever use drugs, no matter what, because they will ruin your life' and has never used drugs cannot possibly know that, and therefore ALWAYS argues from the straw man fallacy. Sure, there are people fucked up on drugs --BUT, those are the only ones anyone ever hears about! Can 'We the People' report successful lives on drugs without fear of reprisal from our freedom loving liberating government? Hell no! (And hence, this is not a democracy, but rather a despot regime in which all behaviour not congruent with their political, narrow, mindset is suspect, and therefore subject to 'full penalites of law.' --but that is a different story!)
I can speak from experience. I have a 3.6gpa and get 'high' as you call it, everyday, all day, AND I take very difficult classes. Bush failed fucking political science, supposedly straight as an arrow! Tell me, how can one fail that and be president? Item A(US) cannot ever be controlled by population B(us). Nuff said.
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