Citation: Nick. "How a Trip Can Be Beneficial: An Experience with LSD (exp51309)". Erowid.org. Mar 15, 2018. erowid.org/exp/51309
A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]
||(blotter / tab)
I had 3 blotters... Each one was very strong according to what I had been told and the trip reports of others' on the same blotters , around 80-100 each...I took all three at once..Just by the time my they touched my mouth, I felt an overwhelming bitterness..I was sitting on my bed relaxing, having had a long hot shower before,and listened to some ambient. Needless to say I was a bit anxious and thinking about how the experience would be like, and about what I wanted to gain from it. As it was hitting me, at first I was feeling sort of stuck into the bed, trying to focus at the music.. I was feeling as if getting into time... For 1-2 hours it went up and up and up, I was slowly laughing all the time,also feeling some kind of shivering..
At certain parts I was feeling as if the substance was PUNISHING me, I suppose that was because it brought me a bit of nausea...after ~4 hours decided to go vomit, I managed to find the target.. :lol: Then I was sort of paranoid that my parents would figure out.. But I eventually managed to clean it.
All senses were intensified, I was hypersensitive to all of them, especially sound...
Furthermore, I felt a bit of ego death.. I didnt know who I am in the universe, confused,startled, --> :o :huh: :blink: .. I largely wanted to express myself somehow, so I managed to find peace of mind in painting.. Just with a pencil, my hands were doing some sort of fractals, geometrical shapes and I was trying to concetrate and relax, fuel my energy somewhere..
I had the insight of being a much more 'primitive' being, but also using more of my brain in a different way, much more speedy.. I HAD to follow my insticts...
I wanted to become more extroverted...
After around 7-8 hours, in the morning , my mother woke up..
I went close to her, smiled, hugged her, asked her how she was doing..
I was restless but couldn't sleep.. When I was alone I had a shower. My sense of time was different, everything appeared more infinite in a way.
If I stared at objects they were changing,morphing, I believe these 'hallucinations' are the result of 1) Focusing,concetrating, 2)Images straight from the subconscious 3)Merging of the senses..
Funny thing is I imagined myself as some sort of elf... The way I was sitting on my bed or the way myself looked in the mirror..
Sometimes everything was just too much, even music so I took short breaks and trying to meditate by focusing on my breath and trying to visualize..
+7 hours.. I realize that if I focus too much on certain objects, everything else seemed to dissapear and/or seem more 'liquid' and blurry.. For exampe I would stare at my rooms lamp and I was seeing only it existing, just hanging in the air.
+14 hours after I decided to have a walk and meet some friend to talk..I had a strong urge to communicate. I found one at the moment, we decided to meet in a small park.. He was also startled and was asking me where/how I found the blotters.. I told him to be cautious about lsd and not just take it for 'fun', fun in the 'mainstream' way. I was laughing inside me, smiling , he though I was 'burned' so in the end I just decided to hug him...
It was feeling weird, as if power of gravity was stronger, as if the earth was grabbing me... I decided to have a walk in a [relatively small] forest... All I wanted was to hear the birds sing and feel the trees, the humidity,the air.. I was sitting on the benches...
I was forced, and also tried myself, to reform consciousness and awareness, body and mind awareness, reprogramm myself into something else, a new self emerging.
I was slowly coming down.. My reality had been flipped,decomposed, and I was slowly trying to re-form it, like a puzzle.
My reality had been flipped,decomposed, and I was slowly trying to re-form it, like a puzzle.
Weird enough , finally my memory has become better, more vivid, I learned to focus and channel my energy where I want.. But I've also become even more of a daydreamer, and learned to enjoy everything in life more, even just sitting and breathing.
I was seeing the similarities between things rather than the differencies, everything was ONE in a way.. Even music.. I was into it, every second was perceived as eternity. I was stunned at Tom Heasley - Desert Triptych , the magic of didgeridoo !!
+20 hours I was there sitting with my father and bros , touching them, hugging them and talking to them.. Relaxed, sitting on the couch.. About their problems, my problems, generally..
+24 hours.. I didnt want to sleep alone.. Decided to sleep in the same bed with my brother.. Trying to calm down and meditate.. Insomnia. I had this fear that I will never return, but I managed to sleep for a few hours I think, having really vivid visuals. I had opened some doors of perception.. What if they never closed again ?? I persuaded myself that it's about which doors you decided to open and which to close ;) You create your own reality.
On the other hand I also wanted to remember this experience and integrate in my life, which I've done.. The trip never ends, you have to change yourself, it's pointless to trip and then be exactly the same, making the same mistakes etc etc.
Also I had this insight that ,at least in our society, you'd better not deviate a lot from the normal.. We should always keep a bit of touch with the ground.. Example: Job. No one wants to but unfortunately you HAVE to.. Ideal would be trying to see everything as a game, so that you enjoy it more. Like a child.
Things seem newer now, I discover more of them, stare at them...
Intense appreciation for art , and a stronger need to express myself , to be more creative. I am calmer but at the same time more energetic.
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