Citation: Carnage. "A True Lifesaver: An Experience with Modafinil (Provigil) (exp50906)". Erowid.org. Jun 30, 2006. erowid.org/exp/50906
I went to school for Biochemistry and drugs fascinate me, perhaps to an unhealthy level. I've tried approximately different types of mind altering substances.
I was rather fond of alcohol in college, but by my senior year I became plagued with severe pain that shot from my lower back, down into my pelvis, and into the groin area. At times it was difficult to walk. No doctors could properly diagnose me, and MRI's showed nothing much wrong. I became depressed as I thought I would one day be crippled. I could no longer think straight, as a 'Haze' dominated my thoughts permanently. It caused me to be Anti-Social and detached, a deviation from the social person that I was.
I didn't seem to be at all in touch with the real world. To beat the pain, I started taking narcotics. Just 2-3 5/500 Vicidin at first, but my eventually peak was snorting 3 Oxycontin 80 MG tabs in 20 minutes. It dulled the pain somewhat, but it also cut through that head fog I was experiencing.
Now, somewhere in between that mess I went to a Chiropractor who fixed my back up in 3 months worth of sessions. Havenít had but a few painful days in the last 4 years. Only problem was, the head fog persisted and I was horribly addicted to narcotics. I went to a Myriad of Psychiatrists (Lying about my addiction of course) and went through Wellbutrin (Gave me Hives), Zoloft (Severe Diarrhea), Remeron (Gained 40 pounds in 1 month. Was never really awake), and Effexor (Did not do anything but kill my sex drive more than the Opiates, but coming off of it was another thing entirely. It was HORRIBLE).
A woman I worked with was also seeing a psychiatrist about having some head fog issues. We had become good friends and talked openly about our issues. She came into work one day and told me that she had samples of a new medication that she was afraid to try, but we would both try it together. It was Provigil, 100 MG. We each took two. We went about our jobs as mindless drones detached from the world for 90 minutes longer. Suddenly, life came back to me. I wanted to talk to people. I could think clearly. I was happy to be alive. I wondered how I coped with such a poor quality of life before that point. I went to my psychiatrist that day and got my own supply.
At this point, I was confident that I could kick narcotics. I found a different psychiatrist specializing in treating addiction, and he tapered me using Bupenorphine over the span of 6 months. He agreed to let me take 400 MG of Provigil per day. He had experienced some success with some of his patients using it to detox from Opiates.
The day I walked out of his office, Buprenorphine and Modafinil in my system was the beginning of a new life for me. My relationship with my wife improved, my desire to read, learn, philosophize, and interact with people came rushing back in full strength. I wondered why I ever used Opiates. As I said, I tapered off the Bupenorphine and lead a pretty fulfilling life. Modafinil relit a fire under me that disappeared many years before. I am not Anti-Drugs, but in the last year I have probably had a total of 80 alcoholic beverages and taken a few Xanax at times. I had experimented with Cocaine in the past and figured I would try it one night.
Cocaine no longer has any effect on me. I view all other mind altering substances as a waste of my time and money. I still go out to bars with friends, but I spend my time shooting darts or pool and conversing with people rather than shaking for shots. I go home afterwards and do something like read instead of passing out in a drunken stupor.
The Negative: I'm addicted to Modafinil. If I can't get it due to samples not present or insurance not covering it or lack of funds or whatever, I start to freak out. If I am without for 4-5 days, the head fog starts to come back. I also have run into the problem of needing 500-600 MG on some days, indicating that it loses it's effectiveness. I have started ordering from Canada, as the price of Provigil has skyrocketed to $9.50/pill.
All in all, this drug is a lifesaver for me. For me it is the greatest. If I'm still an addict, it is an addiction to live and everything life has to offer. I missed out on about 6 years of living life to the fullest. I probably would have missed 30 more if it wasn't for this drug.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.