Citation: donja. "Insanity Mixed with Melancholic Love!: An Experience with 2C-T-4 (exp50757)". Erowid.org. Mar 17, 2006. erowid.org/exp/50757
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| T+ 2:30
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I have split feelings when it comes to sharing drug experiences. I do not like reports that only talk about how cool the visuals are and how ‘fucked up’ you get. I want to know what goes on inside your mind at the time.
I do not do drugs because I think it makes me cool. I do not do drugs because I think it gives me social status. I do (certain) drugs to explore the infinite spectrum of feelings and emotions largely unknown to people in this world. I believe there are a ton of emotions that are so rare, we do not have a word to describe them. Just because your eyes can not see infrared or ultraviolet light, doesn’t mean they do not exist! Just because your ears can not hear frequencies above 20 kHz, doesn’t mean there are no sounds above it.
Onto my experience.
One sunny morning, I woke up and went to check my mailbox. Lo-and-behold! A small package containing what looked like a DVD had arrived. I ran barefoot down to the post office all excited like a kid on Christmas and picked up the package. I got home and opened it. Inside was what I had ordered about 2 weeks earlier: 10G DXM in pink 250mg pills, 40x Salvia Divinorum, and two very tiny, approximately 2mm diameter, 0.5mm thick, off-white pills containing 2ct4. I was mainly interested in the DXM because I used to be a -huge- DXM addict, and I had been sober for several years now… When I ordered the DXM (online), I just randomly picked out and bought some 2ct4 because it was cheap. Because I had nothing to smoke the Salvia with, and because I had a large amount of DXM, I decided to try the unknown 2ct4 first.
It was 10 in the a.m. Looking at the tiny 2mm-thick ‘pill’ in my hand, I really doubted that it would do anything at all. It was just too damned small! I placed it on my tongue and it instantly melted. It tasted like nothing in particular. Reminded me sort of like very weak banana-scraping flavor.
Time passed. T+1:00h, I noticed that my thinking had changed. I was still myself; I didn’t feel “high” at all. It was a somewhat weak feeling of amazement and awe for everything that surrounded me. Everything became interesting and the more I thought about a particular object or idea, the more interesting and ‘cool’ it became.
The way to best describe this is that I continually went “OMFG that is SO awesome!” in my head. I also felt a form of happiness that was a little off. It wasn’t the normal amphetamine-type of euphoria. I’d describe this kind of euphoria, or happiness, as somewhat melancholic. Similar to the “My girlfriend whom I love is on vacation in another country, and I’m not going to see her for another month!” feeling. You know the one?
Any-whoodeelee-doodle, T+2:30h and nothing more really happened. I watched television while my friend slept in the next room. I then decided “this sucks”, and placed the second pill on my tongue. It instantly melted. 20mg total now. I think this was a mistake.
T+2:30 to about T+4:00, several odd and very intense feelings grew inside my head.
I felt very aroused… Not horny in the traditional sense. This was all in my head. For example, watching foreign satellite television really appealed to me. I sat and stared at a news program in a language I couldn’t understand, and I was totally amazed out of my mind at the beauty of what I saw. It all looked so beautiful and I really wanted to go visit the country so that I could experience it in real life. It looked so exotic and thrilling, and the people all looked absolutely gorgeous! I knew it was just a news program, but still, I couldn’t help wanting to experience everything that they showed. The anchor woman was hot, too! Flipping through the 1000+ foreign television channels I had access to, I kept getting caught up in weird things that just seemed to exotic and beautiful to miss out on. I watched a Korean movie subbed in English that probably would have sucked if I had been sober, but this was absolutely the best movie I had ever seen. It was like I was there, experiencing Korea, dealing with whatever the characters were dealing with in the movie. I would describe this state of mind as ‘falling in love with everything’.
The feeling of love and understanding for everything around me grew so strong and so intense, that I stopped paying attention to the colors and patterns that I saw (I can’t even remember them; they really didn’t interest me at all).
Well at about T+4:00 and until I fell asleep, the trip grew so extremely intense that I kept wishing for it to go away. I kept thinking I shouldn’t have taken the second pill.
Time went by REALLY slow. An hour felt like a day. This was not a good thing because it was so intense. I felt trapped and unable to escape. It was a pretty desperate feeling. I had to tell myself several times that ‘it has only been an hour, you’ll be home soon. Don’t worry’. I went over to my grandmother’s place and watched TV and talked to her for a while. This helped. My friend was still sleeping in my apartment. Damn him! Being around grandma made me feel safer and sort of grounded me.
During the peak of the trip and for the rest of the night, I had a very strange thing happen. It felt like the drug changed my perception about myself, self-image, if you will. I felt totally insane in my head, and I also saw my self-image as someone insane: facial expression, eyes, mouth, etc. It was the strangest sensation and experience I have ever felt on any drug. I almost felt poisoned, like there was a toxic in my brain that I desperately wanted to get rid of. I assumed that this was true, and that it showed on me physically too, to people around me such as grandma. The best way I can describe this poisonous feeling/self-image as is when I am very, very sick (bad case of flu, etc), I sometimes get the fever hallucinations that aren’t particularly pleasant. So yeah, I felt utterly sick, but only in my head. This all scared the hell out of me, and I kept thinking maybe I had taken too much and would end up in the hospital or go mad.
It worried me a LOT that the trip only grew more intense as time passed. It was like it built up to a peak, and then just stayed at the peak for hours on end. I also kept getting stuck in time loops (also scary). I’d get stuck thinking about something totally nuts, and I’d just repeat thinking about it over and over until I forced myself to think about something else. And when time moves slowly like it does on 2ct4, every one of these loops of thinking seemed to take forever to complete. I felt like I was in a universe where everything around me, including myself, was crazy. This drug really changed my thinking, unlike any other chemical I’ve tried.
T+8:00 and I still felt like I was peaking. I went home to my apartment to try to get some sleep, and to check on my sleeping friend. Walking outside (semi dark) was very weird! Everything around me had a wrong color. Like, a tree might be blue instead of green. It was freaky yet a little amusing. I also saw worms everywhere on the ground.
I stopped and stared down where I saw a couple worms disappear into a hole, seemingly scared of me. This happened frequently on the way home. I’d see things move and hide from me. Finally inside my own apartment, I was completely exhausted. It felt like I had been awake for days and days (really only about 9 hours). I decided to listen to music, and it did sound extremely good. Perfect, almost, like it was music straight from heaven.
After a bit I couldn’t take the intensity of the drug any longer and decided to go to bed. This proved to be a challenge. I simply couldn’t lay still. I’d twitch and move about. I was itching everywhere! After an hour of desperately trying to sleep, I managed to force myself to lie completely still even though I badly wanted to scratch and turn and twist. Boom, sleep.
I think the only reason this trip was so bad was because I was a 2ct4 virgin. I had no idea it was going to be THAT intense. Also the constant worrying about overdosing etc. I can’t wait to try it again, and now that I know exactly what to expect, I’m sure I can relax and have a good time. Two doses was way too intense for me, and I would have been happy with only 10mg. Night-time can be creepy!
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