Citation: Tim. "Severe ADD: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall XR) (exp50744)". Erowid.org. May 10, 2008. erowid.org/exp/50744
I would like to comment that I have a severe form of ADD. A doctor that diagnosed me commented 'he had never seen anything like it'. I was first diagnosed as having ADD when I was 6 years old. The diagnosis, according to my mother, was the work of a quack. I was put in front of a T.V. and told to raise my right hand everytime a blue ball dropped. In this room, were all kinds of toys of different sorts. My 6 year old mind of course wondered towards the toys. I missed the ball 3 times out of 6. The doctor diagnosed me with ADD and I was prescribed to Ritalin. The only thing I remember about taking Ritalin, is that I don't remember any effect or any knowledge something different was happening in my body. My parents recall to me however, that they had to put a lock on the outside of my door to keep me from wondering around at night, that I set my door on fire, that I attacked my mother with a pencil, and that I rocked back and forth with my hand in my mouth like a retard.
When I was 18 and still in my junior year in high school(failed twice) I took a questionare featuring 80 questions to determine if I had ADD or not. The questionare starts, if more than 20 apply to you, than having ADD is a strong possibility. 72 of the questions applied strongly to me. I was brought to a doctor, who insisted my form of ADD was 'remarkable'. Unlike the ADHD counterpart, my form consisted of extreme low levels of seretonin and Dopamine. I was always aware that I was depressed, but I was just now being introduced to the world of brain chemistry and psychology.
Overall, besides having this illness, I would have to say, I've been blessed signifigantly. I'm movie-star handsome. I have a decently high IQ of 130 and I'm in excellent physical shape despite my low dopamine and seretonin levels. My teachers always insisted I had the potential to make straight A's that I just wasn't working towards my potential. My whole life, because of my impuliveness and depression, I made 'no friends'. I was always the kid who was made fun of in elementary school. In middle school, I was always the kid who got jumped after school by the black kids, and in high school, which I am still in, despite my appealing physical appearance, I am pretty much the most unpopular kid at school. In a way I feel a victim to my genetic code. I feel more people should be educated on ADD and not treat people who have it like a dog.
Anyways, moving on. So I was prescribed to 2 daily doses of adderal XL. I would like to report that my body is EXTREMELY sensative upon first using this chemical. Upon taking my first pill, I felt an immediate 'acceleration' feeling, the only way I can describe it. My mind and body become a physical and mental bliss. I took one pill before school and one after school before martial arts training. At school, I noticed my intellegence was accelerated to its full potential. I was able to solve complicated math equations in my head, sometimes in seconds. I became more artistic (as I am already a right side thinker) and learned to appreciate music more than I already do.
My mood shifted dramatically. Normally, I feel because of my lifetime of continous rejection, that there is no hope in making friends or talking to girls. I lived my life within a shadow of my soul, but while on Adderall, I had no problem talking to people cheerfully. People liked my new adderall type personality. At martial arts training, I completed workouts with ease and already being one of the schools best pupils, I easily beat everyone put in front of me while sparring. Even the school's assistant instructor was no match for me. The master of school immediately noticed my change in attitude and physical strength. He was curious to my newfound energy. I told him about the medication and his words were 'We'll try and be a little more careful while sparring, you nearly killed my instructor.'
I loved this stuff and I was sure it would change my life. Over time, I noticed adderall wasn't all it was cracked up to me, and it did have its drawbacks. It caused dramatic weight loss, even though a healthy eating habit has been maintained. Also I will note, adderall causes a terrible mood swing. I've tried a range of doses and found 20 mgs a day to be the best. I've been using adderall since November (3 months) and I will note the following;
-Tolerance building up the next day of use
-Mood swings, often leading to terrible thoughts of homicide, usually occuring 3 hours after dose and disappearing within an hour or so. The mood swing usually is provoked in one way or another.
-No addiction of withdrawl symptoms. A few times, I questioned adderall and if it was healthy for my body. I quit taking it for a week. I never felt a 'I need it' feeling or a desire to take adderall again. If I did experience depression, It wasn't noticable. I began taking adderall began because of comments about my work performance and drop in grades.
-increased athletic performance
-increased mental performance
-increased social interaction
-weight loss (although Adderall never kills my appetite)
Overall this med seems to work well with me, althogh the side effects aren't desirable. I am concerned however, for my liver and possible future liver damage.
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