Citation: ScaredofFlying. "Mild but Pleasant: An Experience with Diazepam (exp50400)". Erowid.org. Nov 29, 2018. erowid.org/exp/50400
Just got 15 5mg diazepams from the doc after asking him for something to chill me out on a long haul flight I've got coming up (I'm scared of flying).
On his advice, I'm taking one before the trip to ensure I dont have a bad reaction (and also to relieve the boredom - ever since I got the script I've been planning on when I can try it out).
I've had nothing this morning other than a hot drink and a bowl of cereal 90 mins ago. Last night was a fairly heavy night, drinking several bottles of beer, a bottle of wine and a spliff.
I'm working from home today, so may have to take some calls but hopefully just fend off any disturbances with emails if at all possible.
I take the 5mg tab with a glass of water. I have some nervousness in case the effect is too strong for me to do my job properly - I.e if I get a call, can I hold it together.. I've timed it so that the peak should be during my lunch hour, just in case.
I've got handshakes due to nerves. I do this a lot, I work myself up over something before it even happens. I have this problem with public speaking and am hoping the tab will clear this nervousness and then I can use them to combat nerves for other uses. It reminds me of how I used to feel after I'd dropped an acid (over ten years ago now). Id have this scared nervy feeling until the effects hit me and I got handle on it.
Nerves completely gone now. Typing speed is still up to scratch, however I feel a little heady - all pleasant stuff so far. Busying myself with a few chores I need to do, and rather noticeably am not bothered about them, whereas normally id want to rush through and clear them. Feels a bit like being mildly stoned but with no paranoia.
Effects appear to have peaked already. I'm disappointed since it was just becoming enjoyable. I feel clear headed but slow bodied. Going to go outside and see if it brings it up more. So far id say its fairly good at its job in that I'm no longer worried about anything, but 5mg appears to be a baby dose. Tempted to drop another one but I know that's not a good idea. At this rate I will definitely double drop on the plane journey, just to experience the effects.
Receive call from a customer and let it go to voicemail. Its a good guy who called but I think I'll shower and freshen up before I call. I need to be able to concentrate when speaking to him. Expectedly, I have no anxiety about having to take this call.
Did the call about 20 mins ago and although I noticed a little (tiny) anxiety when I mumbled a few words, I easily pulled it back without getting at all flustered. (normally I go very red and lose control a bit). Have been working for the past 15 minutes researching my answers and have decided to stop so that I can enjoy the rest of the buzz. It certainly hasnt got any stronger and the temptation is there to drop another. I'm telling myself not to because I dont know how this will affect me and I dont want to appear on something when my girlfriend gets home in four hours or so. I can see how people get used to these things, its a nice mellow buzz that makes you feel content and at peace. I wonder what 10mg would be like?
Pretty much worn off now. There are some mild residual effects - I'm still chilled, but I dont feel 'on' anything anymore.
Potentially a good recreational drug in the right surroundings at the right dose. Despite its notoriety for psychological addiction I see no potential problems at this stage (dont we all). Difficult to comment on that really though since this is first time. Good test will be when true anxiety is faced.
Need to explore further with higher doses and different social situations.
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