Citation: brazjol. "Death & Rebirth: An Experience with Anadenanthera peregrina (Yopo) (exp50335)". Erowid.org. Mar 17, 2006. erowid.org/exp/50335
Firstly, I must say in advance that during my trip there was no perception of time. All of the things that happened to me happened in no sequence that I can logically put together, so it is very jumbled. Also, there is no possible way to put my experience into words, as it was too completely bizarre, but I shall do my best.
After doing much research, I decided I wanted to try Yopo. I ordered 20 seeds online, and when they arrived, we decided that we would make the concoction properly, with lime rather than baking soda.
I and my friends T and M asked my girlfriend, N, if we could prepare and ingest the seeds in her room. She consented. We went to the pantry of my dorm and put the seeds on a pan on the oven until they popped. We then took the seeds up to my girlfriend's room and removed the outer casings. We crushed the seeds in my makeshift mortar and pestle and then mixed in some limestone paste at a 3:1 seed to lime ratio. We used 9 seeds, which would be 3 for each of us. We split the mixture into three approximate parts, and then made two fat lines out of each portion. All of us were wary about doing it, so we drew straws to decide who would blow it first.
I drew the short straw, so I went first. The texture was terrible. We couldn’t get it to be extremely fine, so it went down very rough. Tears were streaming down my face and my throat and nose hurt very much. I then lay against my girlfriend’s bed as the others did theirs. I felt a strange, faint, pressure on my face. I had read about how most people felt an extremely intense pressure on them, so I was thinking maybe it wasn’t going to work very well. Boy was I surprised.
I started to feel nauseous, and decided it best that I lay down. Shortly thereafter my stomach retched, and I headed to the trash can, which we had placed in the center of the room in case of such an event. I vomited profusely into the trash bin, along with my friends T and M. My girlfriend wasn’t involved in doing the Yopo and sat at the computer the whole time, just expecting to hang out at the computer and listen to music while we tripped in her room. She was not really a sitter, but was there just in case something bad happened. She was in for a surprise, as soon enough all of us completely tripped balls, especially me.
As I vomited repeatedly into the trashcan with my two friends, I stared into the vomit and the effects began. Staring into our vomit I saw strange things. Part of the plastic bag started to look like a white mushroom, and then it morphed into a strange being, and I saw these indescribable flashes of light or something travel at light speed back and forth along the inside of the trash can. The pink and orange vomit with cut up straws that we used to snort the Yopo became a fluffy bed of candy. It looked like something out of candy land. The feeling I had in my body was indescribable… I felt as though I was being ripped apart. I zoned out into the trash can and I needed something to bring me back to reality because I was scared of what was happening so far. I kept biting the edge of the trash can and grabbing the leg of my girlfriend’s computer chair, trying to find some sort of anchor back to reality. When I looked up from the trash can, I looked up at T, whose head was still lowered into the bin. His short, buzzed hair morphed quickly into a bed of porcupine needles, and his forehead expanded and grew into a series of eyes.
Everything that happened next was a blur. The next thing I knew I was on the ground, lying on my stomach. I felt as though I had gone insane, and that I was going to remain that way forever. I truly thought that I had completely lost it; I knew how those who are locked up in the asylum feel. I felt as though I had completely lost my mind. I was writhing around on the ground, feeling my body with my hands to make sure it was all there and intact, but I had a completely distorted perception of what my body really was. I was drooling without any control of it.
I heard T ask my girlfriend to “please close the door.” I looked over, but I could not determine whether the door was open or closed. The only door I could perceive was the closet door which hung open. My friends kept saying things like “never let me do this again,” and “oh my god, this is terrible.” T had to get up and go the bathroom, but in my state of mind I had no idea what was going on. Suddenly T was gone and I was trying to determine if he had left the room or if he was in the room and I couldn’t see him. I looked under the bed to see if he was under there, but all I saw was random junk. I closely examined it, to make sure he wasn’t there. Finally I concluded that he had indeed left the room.
Throughout the entire experience, my body was bending in impossible ways. My legs bent around as though there were many joints which made my leg bend any way I imagined. I reached my arm around the back of my head in a very unnatural fashion and grabbed my upper teeth. With the other hand I pulled my jaw and I ripped my head apart. Then I ripped my skin off. I tried to look at my girlfriend, and I saw the back of her head. She began to turn around, but then quickly snapped back to the same position. It looked as though her face was hidden and no matter what it would not be revealed to me. I would look over to her in between vomiting and I would see the small of her back, which was revealed by the way she was sitting at the computer. It looked as though her skin was decaying.
Then things got normal. Then they got distorted again. It came in waves. Whenever I looked around the room at my friends, they were completely distorted. I couldn’t comprehend the shapes of their bodies. The geometry of the room and everything within was completely wrong in every which way, which made me completely unsettled and frightened. I looked at my hand, which had a small hole in it. I attempted to climb in, and then I was once again snapped back to the original position of lying on the floor, freaking out.
As I was writhing around on the ground, I kept mumbling things like “is this what it’s like to be insane?” “am I crazy?” “will this last forever?” “there’s a secret.. but I can’t see it” “time is an illusion” and most notably, “why not?” apparently I asked “why not?” to almost everything they said to me. Eventually, since I would not shut up, people kept telling me to stop talking. I replied, “I’m trying.” M kept telling me to get off of her, because apparently I was flailing my arms around on her or something. She told me that when I touched her it made her feel sick, however I did not realize that I was touching her. I saw her general form, except I couldn’t perceive it as her. There are no words to describe how I perceived my friends.
I then heard someone distantly crying, and I looked around and saw that it was my girlfriend, the only sober one in the room. This did not surprise me, as all of us were vomiting and then twitching and rolling around all over the floor. Everybody kept saying they were sorry to her, but I didn’t know why. I told her I was sorry too, anyway. It felt like the right thing to say. I kept telling her it was going to be okay, and that it will be fine, however I did not truly think that I would be fine. I thought that I had permanently gone insane.
I heard a siren, and thought that there was an ambulance en route to come take me to the hospital. I asked my girlfriend, “did you call 911?” she replied, “no, should I?” I replied “definitely… NO Idon’twannagetkickedoutofschool!”
I kept feeling my body contort in impossible ways. My legs bent around one another, and when I opened my jaw, it seemed to extend into infinity. I kept doing strange things, such as biting the trash can, pulling at my lips, and poking around at my teeth. Everything extended into infinity.
At one point, my long hair was in my face, and it seemed no matter how often I would try to part it or tuck it behind my ears, it would be in my face again. It was like a veil that could not be removed. Shortly thereafter, I managed to get my hair out of my face, and I seemed to crawl up the side of my girlfriend’s desk. I saw her German book, which was in vivid color, and then I proclaimed proudly that I could see… my vision was returned to me. I was no longer trapped behind the veil.
Whenever I looked at my girlfriend, it would look as though she were decaying, and then I realized that the whole room was decaying. I realized that the whole _universe_ was decaying. I was trapped in a loop of nonsense as the universe collapsed around me. I decided to stop fighting the trip and go with it. I lay on the floor and closed my eyes. I melted into the carpet and begun to see blurred patterns spiraling around me, and then after I completely sunk into the ground, I realized I had to pee. I was so far gone that the idea of peeing was completely foreign. I thought that I was dying, and that it was okay to just go with it. So, I ended up peeing myself.
As I lay on the floor, dying and eventually dead and decayed, I begun to hear people moaning and such, like people having sex. It seemed like there were people procreating around me for eternity. Soon, I found that I was being born. There I lay, on the floor of my girlfriend’s dorm room, being born once more. I felt myself emerge from some sort of membrane into existence. I was a baby. I was still drooling, and at one point I remembered being held by some inexplicable form, a mother.
Then I was a child, and I was very curious. I finally oriented myself enough to stand up, and I wandered around the room. As I stood up, I felt as though my body was extending forever. I felt extremely tall. I saw my girlfriend’s body spray, and I was very confused as to what it was. Apparently I broke off the nozzle in my curiosity. My girlfriend yelled at me for this. It was like I was seeing everything for the first time. I wandered around the room, looking at things, wondering what they were. I turned off the lights, then turned them back on, I grabbed the computer monitor, wondering what it was. In general, it was exactly like I was an infant, experiencing life for the first time. Everything was alien to me.
I began to come down, but I wasn’t sure if I was approaching baseline yet. I could not yet tell if I was sitting or standing. Apparently my other friends had already come down from the trip, and I was still in it. They were observing me as though I was a test subject. T was writing something, and when I went over to look at what it was, the text was all alien. M kept telling me to sit on the bed next to her, so I would stop wandering around the room. I was confused and I thought she was flirting with me or something. I sat down, got distracted by some objects lying around, and then stood up and explored the room some more. Apparently I did this for quite a long time.
During the whole trip, I kept asking someone to hug me, because I felt extremely disoriented and wanted someone to comfort me. I guess I had vomit in my hair and on my shirt though, so nobody wanted to.
When I finally approached baseline, I was told that my face was purple/red for the majority of the trip, and that I had wandered around the room for a very long time. The entire trip lasted for about an hour, however it seemed like eternity. I seemed to trip longer than everyone else, too. The others stopped tripping probably about 15 minutes before I did.
The experience was the most terrifying thing of my life, yet when it was over I appreciated it greatly. All I can say is to be very careful with Yopo seeds. I have read many experience reports regarding Yopo (however, I think all of them were A. colubrina rather than A. peregrina), and none of them were as intense as mine. I think this was definitely because of the lime. Most experience reports I read prior to my trip involved mixing the seeds with baking soda rather than lime. The lime definitely made for an extremely vivid trip, which was terrifying, because I was not expecting something nearly as intense as that.
I left out countless details of my experience in this report, because I cannot remember all that happened. I only wrote down the things I could remember and describe. Many of the things I saw and felt cannot be described by words.
All I can say is be very very careful with Yopo seeds. They kicked my ass.
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