Citation: Little Faerie. "Mind in Slow Motion: An Experience with Clonazepam (exp50099)". Erowid.org. Apr 18, 2008. erowid.org/exp/50099
First, before the details of the trip, a short preface on my mindset, surroundings, and perspective of 'tripping' with prescription drugs. I had spent a good portion of my saturday afternoon browsing the clonazepam experiences of other people. As I just received a prescription of clonazepam today and it is the one day of the week I have all to myself with no responsibilities, I thought I would try out some of the reporters' recommendations. I read at least two (maybe three) reports that all recommended a 6 mg dose. I have gotten out my most comfortable down comforter, let my bunny out of her cage so I can play/cuddle with her if I feel like it, and created a play list of happy, upbeat but soothing music on my computer that I can listen to if I feel so inclined. Also, there is british comedy on public television tonight and I think I might watch some of that.
Background/mindset: It has been one of the most stressful weeks at my job working with learning and socially handicapped children that I have ever had. I got bit and kicked, had to clean up smeared poo from the walls of the bathroom, and some other incidents that would not be appropriate to mention. Nonetheless, I love my job. But I thought a clonazepam trip on a night where I had no other obligations, not even social ones, would be a fun and useful experience. I have had one previous clonazepam 'trip' and it seemed to give me the tools to look inside myself to remind me what in my life makes me really happy and what makes me frustrated or sad doesn't seem so bad. I live in a small studio with just me and my rabbit Sophie but I work a lot so I'm usually gone. I recently redecorated with new lights and bright colors, plus some reprints of my favorite impressionist paintings. I thought I would be able to let go of some of the stress of this week and truly enjoy my new surroundings, and the clonazepam will be a good tool to help me do this.
So, now the unfolding of the evening:
T=1: took six 1 mg clonazepam tablets at 7:51pm. I also take 50 mg zoloft every day but my m.d. said these two won't interact with each other.
T=2: 8:11pm starting to have a bit more difficult time typing and concentrating. I'm getting thirsty. My head feels swimmy, and colors look a bit brighter. It is getting easier to space out into whatever world occupies my imagination the most (i.e. the sound of the tv, reading my own report, playing with my rabbit). Gonna go drink some water now.
T=3: 8:31pm Had water, feel much better. Now I'm watching globe trekker, a pbs show where they take you to different tourist destinations around the world. I've watched the show for years, and the host is around my age. As she narrates her experience in Beijing, I feel almost like I'm hanging out with her, even though she's on t.v. It sounds weird but in my wonderful little world right now it makes perfect sense. More simple than that even, I feel a simple, basic connectedness to the things around me and take even more pleasure in the small things than I usually do, like the smell of my apple-cinnamon bathroom air-freshener even! It's easier with the clonazepam to not let the anxious thoughts that would normally fight their way into my head distract me from my joy. I take it sometimes (1mg/day) for anxiety when I've had a really bad day, but I don't like to take a controlled substance every day. Just as needed. I'm babbling. Oops. Must be the openness beginning. I'll try to keep this trip diary not too wordy (if that's possible!) =).
T=4: 8:45pm The euphoria is beginning. I feel like my apartment is the physical embodiment of all the beauty in my life and I get to walk around it and be immersed in the peace that is really inside me. I'm gonna move my t.v. to my headboard so I can be under my down comforters instead of on my loveseat. I really want to sink into the cloud of my bed that makes me feel so comfortable and so safe on nights like these. It should be interesting to coordinate my movements, we'll see how it goes. I'll get back to you in a little bit. Well, when the tv fell on my foot instead of cursing like I normally would, I laughed really loud. =)
T=5: 9:00pm I'm gonna up the ante a little bit and take 4 more 1 mg pills.
T=6: 10:00pm I can definitely feel the effects of the other 4 mg. The euphoria is more intense, but the drowsiness isn't really drowsiness, just the imminent need to cuddle up in my bed with happy thoughts. However, if I should drift into sleep, it would be peaceful and full of dreams I am sure (clonazepam does that to me). Colors are brighter and sounds prettier, a slight 'body high' where all of my being feels wrapped in a warm blanket that nuzzles and comforts me. It is at once a physical and emotional feeling.
I'm gonna go relax now that I have my t.v. hooked up (however ghetto like of a hook-up it is). One more thing, I talked on the telephone to my friend a minute ago, and it was very genial but I was having a hard time communicating cuz she kept saying, 'What?? I can't understand you?' And I couldn't really understand her either. Nonetheless it was friendly.
T=7: 1:00am Winding down, drowsiness is starting to overcome me, I'm heading for bed and I'm sure these relaxed effects will continue well into tomorrow after I wake up. The thing about clonazepam is that the drowsiness doesn't hit until the end of the night. It will probably take me another hour or two to fall asleep but I am definitely not capable of typing any more.
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