Citation: SpaceCowboy. "Fractal Love: An Experience with Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & Acacia) (exp49332)". Erowid.org. Mar 15, 2006. erowid.org/exp/49332
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I've just had my first ayahuasca session last night and I just have to say that it is one of the most amazing and beautiful experiences of my life, the closed eyed visions and the overall feelings I was having were so indescribable put so pure and full of positive energy and affection it was almost overwhelming.
I took the brew at around 9:00pm at this little park with two friends, both of them decided to not take it so it was just me having to brave it out alone but it was well worth it. I ate about 4 grams of Syrian Rue seeds first and washed that done quickly with some Coke as the taste is not that bad but definetly not tasty! I waited about 10 to 20 minutes before drinking down about 250ml of the Acacia DMT extract. I have to say that this stuff tastes absolutely horrid, so bitter but I managed to gobble it down with a squeamish look on my face and plenty of sips of coke. I then hung around with my two trip sitters waiting for the effects to come on. It really felt that for the next 20 to 30 minutes that nothing was happening at all and my trip sitters were getting more skeptical about this brew and so was I.
Then the nausea set in, this is probably the only thing about ayahuasca that can be a little tricky but it wasn't too bad, I felt like throwing up a few times but suprisingly after about 10 to 15 minutes that all cleared up rather nicely.
This is when it began, a different headspace was being sensed at this time (about 40 minutes after initial ingestion), a kind of drunk happines with a warm vibration was sensed throughout the body, sort of like like lying in a nice pool of warm water.
By this stage my sitters, thinking that this trip was either not working or taking too long, they wanted to go home and get a good night's sleep for new years. I asked them if they could stay around about another hour as the effects were now really manifesting but they were intent on going so I gave my car keys to the guy and asked him if he could drive as I was really feeling it at this stage. The visions that I was having at this stage were all closed eyed (the brew I made wasn't strong enough for open eyed visuals but it was perfect for a first timer like me!) but they were extraordinarely beautiful and bizzare. Terence is so right in stating the utter alieness of this visions. Yes they are bizzare but so beautiful and colorful and real! I mean these visions rely defy description. At one time I saw this neon Jellyfish like one infront of me when I closed my eyes and it was just out of this world, kinda like beauty just for beauty's sake. One word that I had in my mind at the time was fractal organic angels or something to that effect, thats what these things looked like to me.
The clarity of these things is what got me, it was the beyond a hallucination, it was SO clear and amazingly beautifully weird and wonderful. I kept saying to my friend 'oh my god this is so amazing' over and over again.
Every breath that I was taking felt like it was massaging my whole being. The whole feeling of the experience felt so good, loving, open and natural. It felt like such a natural state, not like a drug at all but kinda like what meditation is meant to get you to, a serene inner peace that was just beyond any words. I definetly sensed a precense around me, it felt very maternal and I could tell that it had great affection for me, kind of like a mother looking at her newborn, it was a feeling of love of the purest kind, it was very moving.
After the two sitters drove back to their house we were all sitting in the car and I was telling them goodnight, the strange thing was that they didn't want to leave the car, they just kinda silently sat there, it was so strange. Eventually I smiled and told them they don't have to feel guilty leaving me here and that I will be just fine. The girl in the group eventually left the car and said some really mean remark to me which is really strange, in fact the way they were acting became kinda strange after I was experincing all this. The funny thing was I didn't feel any offence to her words, I just looked at her and said good night, this state that I was in felt like I had this deep sense of compassion for everyone and everything. These two people are extremely heavy pot smokers (stuff that I don't touch) and it was as if I could sense or feel the detrimental effects it was having on there lives and knew that this had something to do with the way they were acting.
Well after the girl left I was trying to convince my other friend that he can go, that it was OK and that I'd be fine, but he just didn't want to leave! He just kinda looked puzzeled, it was a surreal moment so I decided to put on my headphones and put on some Vangelis tracks.
This is where it got so amazing and more surreal, after I put on the headphones the music sounded so incredibly amazing and the visions were just ecstacticly beautiful. A vison of this liquid pearl floating upwards incredibly fast through this strange techno organic portal was just amazing. Another vision was one of a celebration, it looked like a party for the gods or something, like streamers and confetti and scintillating hues of the most gorgous pinks and blues all changing and morphing and just wordless awe was all that came to me at the time. Then it got even stranger! :) For the next hour or two my friend sat in the car where I started talking to him in one of the most profound and articulate speeches I had ever done. I'm no speaker by any means and am pretty quiet and a man of few words most of the time but I mean at the end of it it was 3:00am and this guy was riveted in his seat!
The jist of this talk was about life, the planet, how and why we went and are going in a wrong direction and how we can really begin to heal our mother earth and ourselves and get back to living freely and with real love. The core of what I was saying was something of the nature of God lying inside every human, inside is where we should look for happiness and beauty, truth and love, it all lies inside every person dormant to greater and lesser extents but it can awaken and when it does it literally could transform this world into a paradise of exquisite beauty.
After the talk my friend finally looked at me in a shell shocked way and said it was time for him to go, a little later then he had anticipated, hehe! We said our goodbyes and he said that he really wanted to try this with me soon. I told him that yes we shall, in a nice quiet setting but I told him that this is not a drug but felt more like a sacrament and it might be a few weeks or even months before I'll try it again.
After the next hour or so the visions began to gently fade away and I was left with this amazingly positive afterglow that I still feel this morning.
I think that Terence was a very wise and good man to his core and I think everything he lectured on might sound like flights of fancy to some but I think he was spot on, DMT showed me what people can be and what they truly are deep down is beautiful, mysterious and absolutely wonderous and that we have the keys to unlocking this realm within each of us and really begin to experience what it means to be alive.
Well that was my first trip on DMT, I hope it wasn't too boring to wade through!
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