Citation: Liamfinnegan. "I Wanted to Go on Maintenance: An Experience with Buprenorphine (exp49322)". Erowid.org. Jun 5, 2019. erowid.org/exp/49322
Subutex has been a lifesaver for me. I have used opiates for most of my life- I would get some clean time, and always end up taking the pills again. I love Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, etc, and when active I spend entirely too much money on it- I also steal from strangers' medicine cabinets- Open Houses were great for that- people selling their homes do not think to remove medications from the bathrooms- Scored many drugs that way.
But I hated myself for the stealing and money spent.
I hated myself for the stealing and money spent.
After the last relapse, I spoke to my shrink of many years and told her that I think my brain is permanently altered and that I wanted to go on maintenance- I felt I could get clean, for sure, but I also knew the relapse was coming, and the cycle of relapse as well as the manner in which 12 step programs deal with it- is a killer. It is a recipe for self-loathing.
About 6 months ago I switched from Vicodins to subutex (no naloxone for me- I am not an IV user). My jonesing for other opiates is almost gone. I was at a relatives house the other night, and although I looked in the medicine cabinet and saw Tylenol 4, and took none of it.
The 'high' is very variable due to the sublingual route. The amount of the drug that is absorbed is always different- sometimes the high is great- very close to a Percocet high - other times I just get a mild buzz.
I have been taking 4 mg three times a day- I think I am going to switch to 6 mg twice a day to see if it makes a difference in the buzz I get.
Overall, I think this is a great drug.
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