Citation: Mr. At Ease. "Thank You Jesus: An Experience with Mirtazapine (Remeron) (exp48474)". Erowid.org. May 5, 2006. erowid.org/exp/48474
I suffer from what seems to be or IS fibromalgia and/or similiar muscular/skeletal tension problems.
This causes me not horrid pain, but it causes me a form of pain that is constant, throughout my whole body, and is a pain that does not ever go away - EVER.
It causes my mind to be over active because I am constantly using higher brain functions and Zen powers to 'block out the pain young grass hoppper', ect, ect, ect! I started eating ULTRA healthy, doing lots of excersise, doing meditation, yoga, and whatever! Every cliche', new age, be-at-peace thingy a person could ever do to 'relax' a guy, I have done. None of it though relieved me of this pain I constantly feel.
I went to the doctor and told him that I'm the kind of guy who would have been at home on the battle field of war (war is evil and horrible by the way and I don't believe in it). The reason I say this though, is that 'war' would provide the excitation and ULTRA rapid stimulous that MY body chemistry needs in order to function properly.
Being me is like riding on a rocket missile, sitting backwards so I can't see where I a, flying, but still having control of my flight because of precognitive genetic instincts. Crazy eh?
North American society, though however rapid and nutty, is not the 'warzone' it is that I need for me to be me. Thus my body constantly craves the speedy metablolism of new stimulus and CONSTANT new creativity that a soldier in battle would feel. A guy in the middle of a battle field doesn't know what he is going to be doing .004598 seconds from now, he simply acts and just does what hes got to! Well thats ME all the blood time!!
ANYHOW, enough blabbing, the constant pain that I feel takes its toll on my mind, albeit that I can only hold off the pangs for so long before I start breaking down and wanting pain killers or valium or something to make it stop.
Well I started taking Mirtazipine and the first couple days were odd. I had strange sleep. I would THINK I was going to the bathroom, pooring a glass of water, and cleaning up stuff in the kitchen, then suddenly I open my eyes and realize that I'm still in bed! It was rather odd. Time has passed though and the drug has taken its effects. I was initially pissed off that the doctor gave me an anti depressant, because I was worried about sexual side effects. Mirtazipine (Remeron) though has a positive quality of having very little (so far in my case none) of the negative sexual side effects that I have experienced from other anti depressants. (Yay for me! No more titanium strenth, multi hour, painful boners for me (thanks zoloft!))
Mirtazipine (Remeron) has gotten rid of my 'pain' by relaxing my fine mulcles and helps me sleep better. My sleep isn't weird anymore now that I have addjusted to the drug; no more weird 'sleeping awake' dreams.
Additionally, and most importantly, I also have no more anxiety (anxiety caused by the constant pain that is). There is NOTHING in my life personally that I have to worry about for any good reason, because I am a great person and have a life full of great opportunities. Why should I be in pain or anxious? What in hell do I need to worry about when I am surrounded in the kingdom of heaven?
Now that I am on Mirtazipine (Remeron) I am way more socialable, because my anxiety has all but ceased, and I am actually ENJOYING my life for once. ALSO, (and for me this is the great part) this drug does not give me a fake sense of bull-shit happiness that I experienced as when on other types of anti depressants (zoloft).
I am NOT (Repeat: NOT) a depressed individual. I AM however in constant pain, and that constant pain makes me anxious as hell. Mirtazipine (Remeron) has given me freedom from my pain by cooling off that killer instinct in me, and mellowing me out so I'm more like a 'normal' person.
For me it mellows me out proper like and is turning my life around. I love my job and career now more than ever now!
The only thing that would have helped me other than this drug, would have been 'Fight Club', because my body loves the pain and exhilaration of combat and NEEDS thats high and creativity to thrive and be me.
But, my friends, I like having a full set of of perfect teeth, and my philosophy says to give my enemies a bouquet of flowers and make peace, instead of shedding blood and causing suffering. Mirtazipine (Remeron) is making me as peacefull and lush as a hindu cow, and life is good. There is also of course the re-mentionable bonus to all this, and that is of course that this drug is NOT messing around with my head, or my precious sexual funtionability.... I am simply anxiety free and no longer in pain.
I had initially asked the doctor for Diazepam (Valium) but he explained to me that the effects would only last for weeks and then I would be a junky to the stuff and would need more and more. Im glad my doctor was perceptive to my explanations of my conditions (he even complemented me, saying I would make a great General or Commander) and prescribed me a pharm that was perfect to what my conditions are.
The agony and tension leading to my anxiety is NOT in my head. It is something all over my body that I live with constantly and with a rational perspective in my mind. Mirtazipine (Remeron) has simply loosened the mulcular/skeletal pain I go through, so now my mind can focus on normal things, like life, happeniness, and harmony, instead of always being so damn busy channeling my pain away with meditative thinking, which as it has in these past years, caused me to be anti social, and a less active member in human society.
I am not a fan of pill popping or drugs, but this drug is actually working for me in a way where I am very extremely pleased.
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