Citation: Alexa. "Insanity: An Experience with Amphetamines - Adderall (exp48291)". Erowid.org. Feb 18, 2008. erowid.org/exp/48291
I have done almost every goofy teenager-labeled drug - speed for over a year, coke, mushrooms, LSD, heroin, morphine, methadone, GHB, ecstacy, pot, and every prescription out there, and I have used the internet for helpful precautionary and side effect information through most of my drug usage. The one drug I must comment on is Adderall.
I had stopped, for the most part, doing drugs after my senior year in high school (I'm a college sophomore now), but after a few screw-ups and a really bad, but mostly sober, summer (physically, emotionally, grades) this past summer, I began buying Adderall a month ago to help focus and make up for my past bad grades. Since I already had past speed issues, I knew taking Adderall (which I had tried before) would entail certain remembered side effects. But two months, I told myself, to get through a semester and I could be sober again.
Adderall is amazing for studying. I did every Calculus III problem in every section assigned; I will sit for hours to figure out just one Physics problem or concept. When I take 80-100mgs of Adderall for a class, I know that shit. Classes for which I have stared at exams in blank horror, Iíve taken other exams doing each problem twice, every single line of math in perfection so the teacher just cannot mark one move wrong. Itís not even about confidence, whatever goal I had upon taking Adderall MUST be met.
There are a few bad things I feel while actually high. Sleeping is out of the question. Sometimes Iíll get a half hour, which is filled with thoughts and all sorts of weird crap. The best comparison is probably somewhat like how I may feel when coming down from LSD or mushrooms Ė tons of strange, sketchy thoughts zooming into my head. I get a bad taste in my mouth, so I obsessively brush my teeth, usually finding my mouth scraped and tongue bitten. Sometimes, when getting up from a chair my legs and body have been almost uncontrollably strapped around for hours, I feel funny and my vision is distorted in a too clear way. Contrary to some of the Adderall experiences Iíve read, I become extremely devoid of a sexual appetite, I think it depends on my true personality what characteristics are exaggerated.
I also feel very empathetic with other people when Iím high, as though I completely understand everything about everyone around me, but it feels so stupid because itís just a fucking drug Ė you know? Iím really against drug-bonding because thereís no telling whether it's really me talking or whether I am just tweaked as hell.
Anyway, the main reason why I wrote this is to warn others of the comedown. I have been buying Adderall probably weekly for about a month now, and this is the first weekend Iíve undergone a dry spell. I have lived through dry spells of many drugs, speed included. Maybe other stresses contribute to these effects, but damnit if this is not the most handicapping drug comedown I donít know what is.
I have been bed-ridden for seven days; seven days and next to no studying. I ate about 7 caffeine pills, drank coffee, everything else, and felt sick and stayed in bed. I stared at the once conquerable Calculus book and NOTHING HAPPENED. I just sat there and stared. Adderall makes me forget that I'm really tired and havenít eaten in a really long time. So when I come off of it, I realize I am brain-dead and I have no nutrients for my body to use. I may be lying there in bed, but I'm dead.
I remember being 15 and telling somebody speed is the devil because it tricks you into thinking everything is normal. Amphetamines are funny because they donít fuck me up by way of hallucinations (like shrooms or LSD), or ridiculously fuzzy feelings (like ecstacy or heroin). Therefore, itís easier to forget that I'm high, the high becomes me. Amphetamine highs = me * exponential enhancement. I learned this from doing speed and Adderall still tricked me. This shit is legal. I donít know what those little kids do whose shitty parents put them on it instead of disciplining them better.
Iím just warning others out there that Adderall, just like the street drugs mean rich men try to ban, is as good as it is bad. The power I have when high may be just half as weak and insane as I feel later. And, as with most drugs, if my mind set is right, I take it when I feel stable, things will go smoother and end more smoothly. So I advise those who think Adderall is tons safer than the Draino-derived truckerís speed some trendy goth kid at your high school worships, this is not necessarily true.
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