Citation: Usher. "My Offerings: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp47981)". Erowid.org. Aug 7, 2006. erowid.org/exp/47981
I had prepared well for this herb. I had spent many weeks researching salvia and imbibing numerous trip reports in order to become acquainted intellectually with what I was soon to ingest. I became obsessed. The notion that a plant could potentially offer glimpses to dimensions which lie immersed in ours (and ours in them) was fascinating. Still seems unbelievable, but what if...
The first time I tried it was with a couple of mates. Typically of D, he did not wish to read too much beforehand so limited himself to a couple of resources I had offered him. He is of the bravado school of drug ingestion. My other fellow psychonaut, W, had also prepared little but I had told him much of what I had discovered. He was as nervous about the prospect as me.
We fired up the bong. G, my girlfriend, was filming the experience, so she interviewed D before and after and recorded his trip. He went straight for the high, quickly sucking in 2 hits and holding for as long as he could. W looked pensive. I watched, fascinated. D's eyes changed and he took on a look of total incomprehension...
W, had the common experience of being trapped in a death state. My first time with salvia saw me wasting the leaf as I nervously took a hit and didn't get it down long enough. I took a break, girded my loins and reached for the butane lighter again.
This time my world changed rapidly. Before I had put the bong down I could feel the rush and pull of a seemingly otherworldly nature. It appeared as if I was being pulled to the left by a force coming from a rent which had appeared high in the room. My 'soul', 'higher self' or whatever terms come to mind to describe that spiritual thread which runs through our lives, was being wrenched from my being. Tiny organic filaments were arranged along this route, but were too indistinct to make out. Rather, if I tried to concentrate or focus on them they slipped beyond normal sight.
I lost all concept of 'me'. I had never existed, but the very act of putting this into words implies I did exist. It was total experience. But the paradoxes of thinking about who/what was going through the experience if it was no longer me makes my brain gasp for air.
I was amazed by the experience. For days after I could think of little else and was held in a sort of after-glow where I felt more buoyant, more vital than before. This was subtle and was perhaps down to my new found interest more than a chemical change in my brain. I decided to grow the plant and quickly had several pots putting forth rich growth. I felt that if salvia was becoming a potential ally then I should tend the plants and make a connection between the act of growing and smoking.
I began to smoke the 10x leaf weekly. Every Sunday evening I would nestle down in my dressing gown, get cozy and darken the room. I would also ensure that the environment was as quiet as possible. During these early explorations I always used a sitter. With each use I would feel the twists of energy spiraling and pulling me away and up. Once I had the impression of being in a forest clearing. So far my journeys were not classic breakthroughs in the sense that I did not realize vivid visions. They were far more subtle - my brain had the impression of where it was but I couldn't actually perceive it with the normal sense of sight. Every time though was the vanishing of those components which make up 'me'.
I once tried to talk my sitter through the experience, but it felt like I was pushing my self to the fore and the impressions quickly faded. Perhaps I needed to smoke more. Eventually as I developed the courage I began to smoke alone. As a snap shot: I saw the journey of an atom through a plant, over and overand over; two male figures/entities merged with my legs, a road appeared to my left; and most frightening (my only sinister episode with Her Sage-ness) when I was being urged to harm myself by malicious entities in the room (elves, sprites or what-have-you, and I realized I was on salvia before anything happened).
I wasn't terrified by this and refused it to cloud my judgment of the plant and loaded another hit immediately which was a pleasant meditative experience. Incidentally, the space I reach after smoking the herb is an incredible vast space, where there are objects/occurrences/buildings? Language begins to fail when I try and describe this space as once again it is one of experience and a place where if you try and grasp onto what's there they drift from you. This space is safe though, and I have the strong impression I enjoyed similar feelings when I was a child. It feels like I've been there before in some capacity.
My final episode in this report was very profound. After taking 2 large hits of 10x I was instantly aware of a void underneath me and a female entity. There were again no vivid visions, only a certainty of what I was experiencing. I heard a voice say very clearly 'Take the leaf, take the leaf, take the leaf', in a tone that was calming and insistent - which was at once within me and around me. It felt like I was being offered another herb or leaves of salvia.
I was so convinced by the experience that I expected to emerge back into consensual reality holding some leaves! I was utterly sure that a female entity was with me and made an offering. I felt welcomed and loved and not fearful at all. My emotion upon returning was of utter amazement, I grabbed my girlfriend who was sitting with me and uttered strings of exclamations probably along the lines of ‘I saw her!; I was offered leaves!; I made contact with Salvia!’ and other certainties which upon reflection do seem very bizarre. All I can say is that at the time it seemed otherworldly, as in I slipped very briefly into an adjacent dimension and bore witness. The very idea! As soon as I put the very notion down on paper it seems absurd! But, who knows?...
I have noticed health benefits of smoking this herb. When I was ingesting the leaves weekly I felt happier and less prone to moodiness. My nervous habit of biting my nails and skin around my thumbs diminished (this has been a habit since childhood) and for once they healed and looked good. This also happens on vacation when perhaps I am happier and more relaxed. Perhaps salvia allows parts of the self to be whisked off on a whirlwind holiday and returned, complete with Bermuda shorts and Ray-Bans. This isn’t too suggest that salvia is a party herb, it certainly is not, as my sinister encounter demonstrates. And I do not think I have, as yet, ingested a quantity to make a true breakthrough (judging by the experiences of others). This is because, primarily, I have a deep respect for this plant, bordering on fear.
The change in consciousness is so sudden and unexpected that I think it is our very natures to be a little terrified of something which removes the filters and conditioning we have built up over so many years. We have a lot invested in it.
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