Citation: Special K. "Bad Place: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp47959)". Erowid.org. Jul 10, 2007. erowid.org/exp/47959
Friday, November 12, 2005
Setting: my house
no prescriptions, vitamins, herbal supplements, etc.
I had spoken on the phone with my friend, Jill, earlier in the day, about 2 PM. She told me that one of the movie theaters was going to have a midnight showing of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. However, we wanted to get fucked up to watch it, which is the only way that you can understand it. We decided that we were going to buy some of the more Ďpotentí kind of pot from her sisterís friend since we didnít have access to any other drugs/psychedelics. However, we wouldnít be able to buy the marijuana until after 10:00 that night.
I had some errands to run, so I told her I would call her back around 5 PM. Well, my errands took longer than expected so I ended up calling her a little bit before 6 PM. No answer.
I went online for a little while and then got the sudden urge to check the mail. Earlier in the week, I had placed an order for Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds from an online shop. I didnít really expect to receive them yet, but decided to check anyway. To my surprise and excitement I did receive the seeds. Now, I was really going to be tripping while watching the movie.
They were much smaller than I expected. However, they are a different strain [Indian] the online herbal shop had said and were smaller in size and did not have the fuzzy coating. After reading the dosage recommendations, I decided to take a total of 10 (I wanted a ĎheavyĒ trip). I just chewed them very thoroughly and swallowed without removing the seed coating. The ingesting of the seeds was complete at 7:07. I tried to call Jill again to let her know that we could really trip that night, as we had tried with morning glories to no success previously (too small amount of dosage).
Side note: My previous experiences with drugs have been pot, ecstasy, cocaine, dxm, and shrooms. As I had never done acid, I can only compare this trip my one time with shrooms.
At about T:45, I felt very lethargic. I was listening to music on my computer and was very relaxed but I was very cold, the window and fan had been blowing and I was getting Ďchillsí. Except these chills were waves of tingles that went through my whole body. I had also experienced these Ďchillsí when I had done shrooms. Every time a felt a breeze, I got the same type of the chills.
At about T1:00, I decided to go lay down in my bed. It felt like I had taken a sedative, except my mind was very clear. I turned off the lights and covered myself with blankets. I was not worried about falling asleep because I wasnít mentally tired, but I wasnít trippiní yet either. Iím not sure when it happened, but I started to feel very euphoric. I found everything really funny. And I started having weird trippy thoughts. I was only a little bit nauseous, but it felt more like a slight tightness in my stomach. I checked my pupils and they were slightly dilated.
Around 9:30-10:00 PM, I tried getting a hold of Jill again. No luck. Then I called her sister. She said that the guy that deals it doesnít get off of until 10 PM and that she was waiting for him to call her. I gave her my number, since I wasnít with Jill, to have her call me. She never called me back that night, by the way.
Around 10:30PM, I had went to the bathroom. I would probably consider this my peak. The patterns on the walls and tiles were swirling and twirling. My hearing had also been Ďenhancedí by the seeds. I washed my hands, and I could hear the leftover suds popping in the sink and it sounded like rice crispies in milk. I did check the next day if I could hear the suds popping in the sink, and I couldnít. It was so loud. But staring down at the sink made me very nauseous. I felt like I was going to throw up but I couldnít decide where I wanted to puke; the sink, toilet, or the tub. I didnít want to use any of them, so I went in the kitchen and puked in the kitchen sink. I have no idea why I decided to puke there, it just seemed like the best place at the time. Toilets gross me out to have my face that close to them and I didnít feel like bending over too much. Plus, I think I was really trying to walk it off, but once I got to the kitchen sink I couldnít hold it. Some liquid came up (the tea I had drunk earlier), and a tiny bit of seed matter. I didnít puke very much or for very long at all, but I still felt like shit afterwards.
I went to go lie back down. I was tripping so fucking hard at this point and the euphoria was long gone. I text messaged Jill that I needed the pot asap, as she had text me earlier that she was going to get it and be back before the movie. I wanted to smoke some to hopefully relieve the nausea. I kept repeating to myself ďBad place, bad place, bad place...Ē I tried not to think about that, and to Ďget outí of this bad place. But thatís all I could think of. And I kept repeating '10 and 7' or backwards '7 at 10' referring to my dosage. Don't know why.
I donít remember much what happened the next few hours. Actually, some of the things I did could have happened earlier that night. But I remember seeing trails, and I played with the light toys that I use when I roll. Eventually, Jill called me back around 12:30 AM. She still hadnít gotten the marijuana and we missed the movie. She was going to go to some other girlsí house. I told her that I was trippiní but she wouldnít come over until I told what I was on. I had told her previously that I had ordered some seeds online, and I let her know that I had take 10 at 7 that night. AND if she had called me earlier, she could be trippin too. I was actually pretty pissed. Plus, she wanted to go to some party, so I told her to come get me.
An hour later, she still hadnít showed up. I called her, and she was at some girlís apartment. I told her forget it and to stay there because I was still tripping hard and didnít feel comfortable hanging out with a bunch of people I didnít know. Plus, I was in such a bad place still. When I had done shrooms, I was happy, light-hearted and had a child-like wonderment about the world. I didnít freak out mentally at all. Although, I wouldnít technically say that I was freaking out, but I was in a bad mood and had horrible mindset about everything at that point I didnít want to be around anybody.
I had some introspection about my actions that night. What had happened? Why was I so negative and in this Ďbad placeí? I didnít really think it was necessary to always trip with others. I had tripped on DXM by myself many times. I think it was because I hadnít planned on tripping by myself. The evening did not go according to plans at all. My friend pretty much ditched me, she didnít know until way later that I was tripping balls, but I figured that had she came over earlier that evening we would have been tripping together. Plus, I had been looking forward to trip. Thinking about how fun it was. I was also planning on experimenting with other legal highs, such has amanitas, salvia, etc. Now, I am definitely reconsidering this. I will probably trip again but with an entirely different mindset and expectations.
I should also note, later that night I thought I was dying. All of sudden a word popped into my head, CYANIDE. I remembered reading about how some seed contained chemicals that the body breaks down into cyanide and could kill you. But I couldnít remember for sure if it was these seeds. I didnít want to check it out online to find out for sure because I thought that if I did find that it was these seeds, then I would really, really freak out. However, I was pretty sure that it was the HBWS. I contemplated calling 911 or poison control, but at this time (about 2AM) I figured it was way too late anyway. When I had thrown up earlier, only a little bit of seed matter came up.
Oddly, I accepted death and didnít freak out. I prayed to god to forgive my stupidity and for all of my wrongs. I apologized to my friends and family in my prayers too. I felt weak, tired and wanted to fall asleep. I figured that when I fell asleep I may not wake up. Should I write a note just in case? Should I call a friend? I couldnít do any of those things; I couldnít move or get off of my bed. I also thought to myself there were worst ways to die. Iíve always imagined myself dying in a car crash-not sure why. Then I remembered that I had this really good ice cream left in the freezer. If I am going to die, I wanted that to be my last meal. I finally urged myself out of bed and went to the kitchen and started eating the ice cream. I almost instantly felt better, and figured I wasnít dying but just in case, I finished it off any way. I was barely tripping at this point, although my eyes were still dilated and patterns were still fun to stare at.
I would say that I had underestimated the seeds. I took more than I should have. Also, I need to find out more information on preparation of the seeds, especially the Indian strain that I have. I donít know if I would consider this an entirely bad trip. It was fun at times, but bad also. I mean, I did think that I was dying. I did order a total of 100 seeds so I still have a lot left.
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