Citation: Fieruby. "An Appreciation of Life: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp47824)". Erowid.org. Sep 5, 2008. erowid.org/exp/47824
A regular marijuana user, as well as using Vicodin, robotripping, Ecstasy, and Hydromorphone, it wasn't as though I've never done drugs before.
My first time trying Adderall, my friend gave me the pills for free - he was prescribed, and he was just cool like that. It happened spur of the moment, and we went to his house to do them. It was me, him, and another friend who decided not to take any. At first, I took 3 pills (30 mg) because I was -much- smaller than the other people there. 10 minutes later I took another 2, and about 5 minutes later another 3. Yes, I'm stupid. I took these somewhere between 4 and 4:45, not positive exactly when.
After about 15-20 minutes, my perception was kinda twisted. The first thing that amused me was this: He had a ceiling fan that went around, and I swear to you the whole ceiling was shaking. I gotta say, being in a room where the whole entire ceiling is shaking around is quite an experience.
After about a half an hour, I realized something: How precious each individual life was. I started to appreciate my friends and everything they did for me. This grew until I went home about an hour 1/2 later.
When I [tried] to go to sleep about 4 hours later, I couldn't. And I don't just mean I couldn't sleep, I mean I was incapable of staying still. Staying in one position for more than a couple seconds wasn't just uncomfortable, it was impossible. Furthermore, my brain was filled with these thoughts of people and ideas from my past: Friends who left me, events I should have acted differently from, and I either had to write them all down, or talk to some one. Seeing how it was about Midnight at this point and my parents wouldn't let me call anyone after 10:30, people were out of the question, so I wrote an insanely long note to my friend, for 2 hours -straight-. I just felt that I couldn't be content with my life unless I explained things. I was unnaturally open, talking about my childhood (a time I want to forget) and other things I usually wouldn't have discussed. In the end, the note was the front and back of FIVE pages, and I wrote VERY small.
After I finished the note (I wrote it from 11PM - 1PM) I just sat up, thinking. Sleep was impossible and thoughts kept coming into my head. All of a sudden I realized how amazing life was. I can't explain it, it was like a higher level of being (an over-used phrase, but the only one that works). I just wanted to hug everything alive and say how amazingly special and unique and priceless it was. I realized that life is so precious and only comes once, and dead serious, even if a girl who hated me somehow appeared, I would have gone to her and given her a hug & a kiss and told her how amazing her life was and not to waste it. Normally a pretty agressive person (not violent, but most of my friends are guys), I regretted hitting anyone, ever. Even just joking around. I regretted hurting anyone, regardless of how unintentional it was. I realized how life should be preserved and how amazing people were.
After spending close to 8 hours by myself contemplating life, seeing people in school the next day (about 7:30 AM) was amazing. I can't even try to explain how happy I was. Being able to talk to people and converse with them was the most satisfying thing ever. The 2nd most satisfying being the look on my friends face when I gave him a HUGE letter out of nowhere. I couldn't walk down the walls - just bounce. Not like *boing boing* bounce but I had a little skip in my walk. I was so happy to be around others, to be able to talk and express myself, I felt that there was nothing that could possibly be wrong in the world - Life was bliss.
Overall, it lasted for *me* about 18-20 hours, but I took more than someone my weight should have, by a lot. However, I would deffinitely do it again. While the problems with sleeping and eating weren't fun (obv), the amazing feelings I had while on it totally over-rode the negative ones. I never felt so complete as I did on that (Possible exception: Ecstasy).
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