Citation: Escherism. "The Good, the Bad, the Ugly: An Experience with Nitrous Oxide (exp47350)". Erowid.org. Jun 12, 2018. erowid.org/exp/47350
Nitrous Oxide - the Good, the Bad, the Ugly
My experiences with Nitrous Oxide have been varied and ultimately very disturbing.
I began using nitrous regularly in 2004 while I was working on a album. At the time, I experienced disassociation, higher sensitivity to bass in audio, euphoria, and a sense of connectedness. However, fairly quickly I went from recreational use of the drug to addiction. I experienced blackouts, at first only for the length of one case but later for several hours and even days. During one of these blackouts my friends took me to a mental hospital because I was not responding to any stimulation. I still don't know where I went or what happened. During another of these blackouts, I walked in a one mile run barefoot, wandered throughout my city, and experienced repeated senses of euphoria, the sense that something wonderful was about to happen. I couldn't even find my home - ultimately, I was again taken to a mental hospital.
Still unable to shake the grasp of the drug, I began to experience audio hallucinations that were words and phrases, extremely odd concepts interconnecting God, computers and networks, and the world. After a binge, I would experience audio hallucations that were deeply disturbing.. Many of them claimed to be demons or stated that I was going to hell or that I was completely worthless or otherwise had very negative things to say about me.
Eventually I joined a well-known drug rehabilitation group and I have been able to stay clean for longer and longer times - I think that I am winning in my addiction. However, I now experience the same audio hallucations with other drugs so I have been forced to give up recreational drug use altogether.
While in the drug rehabilitation group I ran into another individual who had a similar experience of being addicted to nitrous, and similar audio hallucinations of people talking to her inside her head, or audio sources (white noise especially, but also TV shows) being 'mangled' to change the message. Interestingly, in both my and her case it remains possible to tell that the audio is a hallucation - or at least, is not from this world. The audio varies and can be extrordinarily dark.
I've also seen hallucations in 'snow' on television while under the influence of nitrous. These are mostly words - sometimes they look like intel assembly language, sometimes like stock reports, and sometimes like regular english text. They move around.
I've also experienced having thoughts that I find completely abhorrent shortly after coming down from nitrous.. Once, it was almost as if a thought had been placed in my mind by a entity that was not me.
I've had horrible nitrous hangovers.. Especially after consuming large quantities, like 10 boxes in a row. I get the distinct sense that long-term nitrous inhalation is very harmful to mind and spirit.
Again, I got addicted to nitrous. I have heard reports of other people getting addicted to it as well. I found it extremely hard to get clean afterwords, and I've heard other reports from people who have had similar problems.
There are definately some things going on in nitrous, and the use of it, that are metaphysical rather than strictly physical.
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