Citation: DEAD. "Spotless Sunshine of the Eternal Mind: An Experience with 4-HO-MiPT (exp47137)". Erowid.org. Dec 1, 2016. erowid.org/exp/47137
The time is 9:09pm. I'm sitting in my half-way house in nyc, at the computer. I have some 4-ho-mipt in a capsule. I'm gonna swallow it now (I hope this is a good idea, Father, please bless this activity)
10pm- swallowed the pill (finally after some heavy contemplation) I just burped. The last time I ate was about 6pm, a moderately heavy dinner: mashed potatoes, vegetables, two salisbury steaks. I'm not on any other medication. I hardly drink alcohol, I never smoke weed. Last night I sniffed half of a 10mg pill of valium, which is out of the ordinary for me. Right now, my roommate is sleeping about 4 feet away from me in his bed.
10:08pm- I just peed, still waiting for the trip to come on. I have my bottle of water next to me here, taking sips periodically. I just took one. As I'm writing this, I have water in my mouth.
10:09pm- one minute has passed. Let me mention that the drug was obtained from a reliable friend who is a chemistry major in college. This was his last dose of a small batch, which I purchased from him last night at around midnight.
10:22pm- I dont know if I'm tripping yet, but I'm thinking about my report, and how it says that I was gonna take the pill at 9:09 'now', but I didnt swallow it until 10pm, so is there gonna be a 51 minute delay in something?
10:24pm- my report seems like its a failure, confusing, and unclear. I understand whats going on.
10:26pm- theres a bully who lives here on my floor, who likes to harrass me. I wondered if anyone was to come in my room, I would quickly set up a make-shift surveilance camera on my dresser to record the events that transpire.
10:28pm- I havent shaved in like 2 days, and I masturbated twice today. I also didnt shower today.
10:30pm- normally I would have work tomorrow as a bike messenger, but I quit last week with hopes of finding a new job for the cold weathered season approaching.
10:32pm- I just put on music with headphones, and it put a big smile on my face. It makes me see the guy singing, his breath control. I wanna do that. Ok I'm definitely starting to bug out. I adjusted the head phones, and it sounded like screeching in my ear, not loud, but it made me pause and figure out what that unusual sound was, when normally I would ignore it. Oh shit. Thats the sound when I cover the back of ear-bud head phones, like seeping air. Similar to the extra hole on sippy-cups that allow release of air, for uninterrupted beverage flow.
10:36pm- ok that headphone/sippy-cup reference kind of devalued my report. Lets call it 'the' report instead of 'my' report. I dont wanna type too loud and wake up my roommate.
10:39pm- tinglings through the body. Slight jaw tensions. My eye is twitching. It does that sometimes, rarely, but its mentionable now. This is boring.
10:43pm- thinking people are listening to me outside my door. I had to turn off the music. Things are starting to get weird. Oh sh*t. My neck is getting really tight.
10:47pm- movements and actions and decisions are gaining significance.
10:48pm- I dont wanna type anymore. But I guess I do, or else I wouldnt be doing it.
10:49pm- that sippy cup thing is ha. Haha beverage flow.
10:50pm I wanna watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind eventually , wow my body is wei - was gonna say weird, but I'm not gonna use it. Does that happen to other people? Wondering if other people think you were masturbating when you werent? I definitely did it today, but I'm not doing it now. Let me bear witness of another. Jesus.
10:54pm- I'm listening to MusiqSoulchild's 'Love' song. This report is uninteresting.
10:56pm- I took out the headphones, and put it low on the speakers. Still dont wanna disturb my roommate too much.
10:58pm- the subject is thinking about fasting and how beneficial it is.
11pm- ok I'm pretty sure I'm about to start bugging out in my thoughts. I was gonna capitalize the 'pm' cuz it didnt look big enough.
11:01pm- listening to music is an activity. 'what are you doing'? 'listening to music'. Can you listen to whatever else? Like, the sound of whatevers going on. The sound of silence. Theres no silence. Solitude. Solace. 'saltitude'. Aptitude. Attitude. I used to write endless networking words without drugs last year when I left the state I grew up in.
11:04pm- more music. I'm quite aware that there are going to be ups and downs during the trip. Id rather be comfortable. 'the subject' would rather stay comfortable. Words. I dont know if I should allow myself to slip away into thoughts about randomness... Like 50 cent waking up in the morning, staring at the ceiling. The speed of thought is much quicker than 50wpm. Or is it? Can it be contained with the RIGHT words, instead of ramble? Let's see: breaking concentration, attentiveness, focus. Woah. Reading back on that- must change music. Brb. Made a playlist. No more breaks. Diligence, mans precious possession. 'fascetrating'. (thoughts of revelation). Editing what? The subject is an editing 'what'?. Editing 'freak' editing 'frink' editing 'professor' an editing subject. The subject enjoys a little editing. (smile) when Jesus comes back I'll leave everything, subject changed song, from system of a down 'freaky music' to my chemical romance 'not so freaked out music'
11:12pm- its 11:12 now. I put the headphones back in. Not on yet, should I turn off the lights? I like them on. Word. The subject would rather just watch a movie than do this report.. You know what? Ill just watch it.. Ok? And if anything comes up, ill let you know. 'the subject' will let you know. (I'm 'the subject' in case you didnt understand) the subject will be watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Wait. If I were you, (another, unknown to me, reader would I be saying.. 'no no dont go, stay and let me know your mind'? Everybody's different. So I couldnt know.) according to research, this is how prophecy came. 'vigorous' writing.
11:17pm- jaw tight. Weird salivation. Like a new liquid. Better to keep my mouth closed (moderately tightly to be sure) to ensure revelation. Ok. Significance: I was just about to look up the word 'revelation' on the internet dictionary, when simultaneosly/synonomously with my thought process, the internet connection became disabled. The words are bugging me out. The music changing is bugging me out. This is a cool song. Chevelle. My music taste is eclectic. Many peoples are. Where are the other believers?
11:21pm- so little time has passed, and it seems so long. When I break concentration, the momentum continues without me, and trails ensue. Like spinning around in circles and abrubtly stopping as opposed to slowing down gradually. My lips taste like flesh tastes to an alien. I imagine living in my mind, instead of exposing/expressing it, except typing is humbly expressing/exposing it.
11:26pm- everything is different. The breaks in time recording/documentation seems pointless, but without it I would endlessly ramble (into oblivion?). This is an experiment. What is an experiment? Trying something new? I think my roommate is talking to me, (prolly to tell me to turn off the light?) but I wont look, cuz itll break concentration, and ill spin out of control. I'm pretty sure. Waves are going through my body.
11:30pm- (time partitions necessary for time perception) surges. These physical surges suggest that every second is more significant than (normal?) my mind could be racing/stimulated, so my current reality seems as if, 'seconds' are longer than 'seconds would normally be if I was sober'.
11:38pm- I changed the music selection to instrumentals to eliminate the words of others. Unstable words. When concentration is broken (like thinking about doing something other than documenting my every thought) I start to see trails. When I focus tentatively on typing/thinking, the 'visuals' disperse.
When I focus tentatively on typing/thinking, the 'visuals' disperse.
11:42pm- I refuse to delve into anything other than staring at the computer screen listening to hip-hop instrumentals, waiting to type my every thought for others' sakes.
11:46pm- I understand that its been almost 2 hours since I've swallowed the drug. The rap instrumental makes me want to attempt to write a song. I will try. If I start to see trails, then I will come back to the report. Ill be back.
11:48pm- yea. That didnt work at all.
11:50pm- the screen appears to vibrate as when I'm receiving a call on my cell phone (when the signal interferes)
11:52pm- I've lost concentration. Have I? Skipping through the music.
11:54pm- I sit back and think.
11:55pm- dont worry I'm still here. I didnt think too much. Does this report reflect how I would raise my son?
11:56pm- for a moment, I get lost in the thought of calling something my son (especially being a lover of Jesus)
12am- Jesus is my control.
12:01am- I notice that I'm typing less and less, wondering if this is a result of changing the music to 'without words'.
12:03am- Jesus definitely lives inside me.
12:05am- I realize I'm not typing 'more' or 'less', I'm just pressing ENTER and typing the time more often.
12:08am- I understand there will be a return to baseline.
12:09am- the drug sent another surge through me.
12:11am- I wonder about calling the drug uncatagorizable, and then if I can be called uncategorizable myself.
12:12am- what is a category?
12:15am- cant categorize my current state. Only quick thoughts like I cant catch them.
12:16am- lemme try to catch a thought. My mouth crying. Vocalist.
12:17am- (self-reflection) is that selfish? Is it selfish to think things and not tell you? If I thought anybody cared about my thoughts, I would be typing them. But that is exactly what I AM doing.
12:20am- if Jesus was light, and light was energy, then Jesus was energy? And arent signals, like electronic signals, considered energy? So cant God communicate through these things, causing energy? Yes. My words that I type actually control my physicality.
12:26am- my roommate woke up and said 'I thought (something about the light being on)' I humbled myself as a child, and considerately turned the light off for him so he could sleep.
12:29am- I wonder if possibly it were a demon coming out of him, cuz as soon as I turned the light off, my mood decreased, and a bug flying around the room started bothering me. There is a link between sleeping souls, and sub conscious communication to me right now.
12:31am- I must give glory to God at this point in time.
12:32am- 'significance' plays a major role in the fine line between baseline and tripping.
12:34am- nothing is typed in the blank spaces.
12:34am- my report seems bootleg.
12:35am- there is no filter (in the mind) for limitless mood swings on miprocin (the drug)
12:37am- (I typed 'what is a mood swing?' and then deleted it)
12:38am- I'm told to 'meditate on the good.'
12:40am- there is no filter. Energy is free to pass through my being.
12:42am- I believe that my typed words impact my future well-being, so I speculate whether to forbid evil energy, or is it implied because of my belief in Jesus
12:46am- I believe that what I'm writing effects my future but there is no 'future', there are only mood swings without a filter, to go left and right and up and down without authority.
12:47am- what is a mood swing?
12:48am- when its a good feeling, its godly. When its not godly, its nothing
12:50am- I do believe that my typed words effect my current well being, and stand with God.
12:54am- I wanna type so much, but I cant. Ups and downs. I tried to look at some of the words of God but -
12:56am- there is conflict.
12:57am- Jesus' return is very real. Whether youre on drugs or not, He will come back. Much praise is due to Him. Cuz He's definitely coming back.
12:58am- there are so many different views on Christ's return. One is always the same. That He is definitely coming back.
1am- I'm not plagued by money or whatever else that can plague you, Christ's return is that energy. That constant. Him coming back is true, and that truth is the literal energy.
1:04am- the energy through me. Undeniable as light is, this is. This is real. Jesus is that filter.
1:08am- it is the only constant in the experiment, whatever an experiment is. Jesus... The only constant.
1:12am- this is perfect now.
1:14am- time significance is gone. I have temptations to mentally milk the drug for every second that its worth, but it is quickly replaced by a surge of 'youre definitely still tripping'
1:16am- the power to shut satan up is perfect.
1:18am- the drug replaces weeks of fasting to achieve connectivity. Drugs will have unwanted side effects on the physical body, while fasting will probably benefit you-
1:20am- there is temptation to -
1:21am- I'm wasting valuable time with typing. Sorry. Peace.
1:23am- no I cant leave.
1:26am- I'm tripping.
1:27am- God knows my heart, I'm not a wolf. I believe in His Son Jesus Christ.
1:28am- when I type His name, spirits are wound up, the name becomes noticed, attention is drawn to it.
1:30am- the need to type the word 'ineffable'
1:32am- listening to the same instrumental track over and over again.
1:36am- my flesh is annoying, I could go to sleep now.
1:38am- possibilities of the mind are endless,
1:39am- I see the time and copy it and it could become poetry if I wanted it to
1:41am- the subject -
1:42am- I remember that the words I type relate to my being.
1:43am- Jesus save me!
1:44am- I must stop because my brother thinks that these drugs go against the bible, but a brother is born for adversity, and it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth.
1:46am- I definitely keep Jesus' sayings.
1:49am- although my roommate is sleeping, his dreams are definitely effecting me typing. Like when he moves in his sleep. Hes alive, and conscious, but sleeping.
1:51am- Jesus save me!
1:53am- movements outside make me realize that I'm still tripping pretty hard.
1:54am- telepathic communication between me and my roommate.
1:55am- I'm enslaved to what I type, so peace, joy, happiness,
1:57am- Jesus' peace be upon us all.
1:58am- peace, heaven,
2:03am- somebody tried opening the door.
2:06am- I'm going to watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Peace.
3:52am- I gotta watch -
5am- I watched the entire movie. Mind f*ck. I started watching the whole thing again. I'm an hour and 8 minutes into it. I must stop. Peace.
5:01am- I cant turn this movie off. I have to. Ok I pressed stop. I have to end this report until tomorrow, or hours from now, but its ended for now, now.
8:21am- ok. I laid in bed, thinking to myself these past few hours. I just ate a protein bar, and swallowed a 10mg pill of valium, and the other half of the 10mg pill from last night (15mg ingested)
It took me until about 7:30am to figure out that movie. It wasnt making any sense. I could still be tripping now. If there is such a thing as 'baseline', I'm definitely not there yet.
If there is such a thing as 'baseline', I'm definitely not there yet.
8:25am- I'm gonna sign off (close this report) for now. But I'll be back later.
8:52am- yo those valiums are kicking in. I'm slow right now. 'sedated' I think the word is. But yea. This is nice. I just ate more breakfast downstairs. I'm gonna go back and re-read everything I wrote from last night and see what sense it makes.
9:06am- yea its not as amazing as I thought it would be, but damn am I f*cked up from those blue diazepams. I just realize that its been almost a full 12 hours from when I started this report.
9:07am- in closing, without recapping on a fully sober head, peace.
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