Citation: Jimmy. "The Administrators In Another Realm: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (extract) (exp46148)". Erowid.org. Jul 11, 2006. erowid.org/exp/46148
Word has been spreading more and more about salvia and salva extract around where I live, so my brother, myself, and my girlfriend all read up on it and wanted to try it. Somehow, my brother got a half-gram for $25 from someone at school who got it at a headshop for $50/gram, and he tried it as soon as he got home from school. So he sat on the sofa in his bedroom with his freshly purchased bamboo bong and took a hit. He described his trip as very enjoyable but very trippy. He mentioned that he saw a to-scale-sized train crash into his upstairs bedroom and drag him and our house about 20 miles away, before he came-to laying in the middle of his floor with most of the shit from his shelves on the floor beside him. Including his spilled bong.
***A side note. My sisters bedroom is right next to his, and before he even told me he smoked salvia, or that he even had it, she asked me if something happened to him at school. I said, “I don't know, why?” and she said, “because it sounded like he was going berserk in his room. It sounded like he was going to smash through the wall.”
So I asked him what happened. And he told me all of the above.
After him going a little bit more in depth with his story to my girlfriend and I, we decided we would try it later that night, since he offered it immediately, and neither of us had ever had any type of hallucination. We were quite intrigued. I was excited but nervous.
It seemed like it took forever, but eventually we got into the basement with the bong, with everyone else sound asleep in bed so the three of us were assured some privacy and guaranteed to have some fun. We decided that my brother would sit-out this session and just be a 'sitter' since there was hardly any left, and my girlfriend and I both wanted to try it, and he already did. We also decided that it would be best if just one of us takes a hit and lets the effects settle in and then wear off before the other one did it, just to make sure we knew what we were getting into.
I figured, “It's legal, how crazy can it really be?' Bare in mind that I have only ever smoked pot, and have never hallucinated for any reason. I didn't know what to expect.
So I opted to go first, and my brother instructed me to take a big hoot and hold it for as long as I could before exhaling, so I did. First, I slowly felt as if I was stepping out of myself, but I didn't want to do that so I got scared and placed my hands on my face. I simply remember my brother asking, “You feel it yet?” and me answering matter of factly, “yup.”
Now, this is where it starts getting extremely fuckin' weird and trippy. First and foremost, I somehow have two memories of my trip. First of all, Before I could even exhale, I was strongly startled by a sudden moving of everything, accompanied by loud sounds like a really big machine. I noticed the walls were opening up behind me and I grew terrified right away. I could suddenly see what appeared to be an incredibly large gear structure of sorts, just sucking everything into a gigantic spiral. Almost like everything had been laying flat, creating my reality and then the fan kind of fucked up the cycle and my reality got caught in it and it got all wrinkled and fused together. I realized that what was happening was that my entire reality had become flimsy wet cardboard. Not only my house or block, but the entire fucking universe turned to flimsy wet cardboard, and then into felt. At one point, I looked and saw that my brother had become part of the big slow-spinning gears and looked at me as if he knew what was going on, and was sort of upset that I didn't and said, “Man, I'm sorry. You didn't know?”
I saw my brother become part of the big, twisting ball of chaos that used to be my reality and I remember feeling like someone had just told me that everyone I know had gone through a similar 'reality crushing' experience and was then forced to play a part in my false reality. False reality being my regular every day reality. Then my reality went completely into the gears and suddenly I was alone in a forest which seemed to be in a completely different realm.
Then I felt a weird sort of energy like everyone knew what was going on in my reality and what happened to it except for me. Sort of like it was pre-scripted and everyone was just orchestrating it. At that point, I felt a sense of immense heartbreak because everything I had cared about was all for nothing. So much effort, to find out that my entire life was set up.
I had been thinking earlier that week that based on how well things had been going for me recently, it's like someone had just flicked a switch to the “positive” from the “negative” position.
Completely heart-broken that the love of my life didn't really exist, my brother whose company I enjoy a great deal didn't really exist. At that point, I became increasingly upset about the fact that nothing I knew was real. Suddenly out of the forest appeared hundreds of monks wearing brown robes with hoods that were made their faces look like a black shadow, and rope belts. They revealed that they were the “administrators” and they took me aside into a secluded part of the forest and explained to me that it was an experiment for their entertainment. Dressed in brown robes with yellow-ish rope belts. No shoes. I was told that my brother and girlfriend and mother and everyone were just props and they had all gone through what I had just gone through. Essentially uncovering that reality as we all know it is just props and the REAL reality exists only our minds. Our physical body is basically just a shell to put the batteries (our mind) in, and that is only ONE aspect of our existence.
Suddenly I was back on my couch, with everything familiar around me. But then, I looked at my brother and saw that he was a puppet with strings and wires and shit controlling everything about him. I looked at my girlfriend and she appeared to be a powered-down robot. Not moving, no sounds, not even breathing... Just completely still because she was shut-off. I suddenly morphed back into the forest with the monks and they said, 'see? We control where your mind is focusing, which aspect of your existence it is living at any given moment. The predominate one in this case is in the shell that you know as Jimmy, the college student who is just getting his life together after a few rough years.
After going back and forth between sitting on the couch looking at my robotic girlfriend/puppet brother and the forest with the administrative monks who orchestrated my reality, I was told that I could go back to the reality I knew once they fixed the gear that ate it and the large props that created my reality. It happened much quicker than expected, but I suddenly morphed back to where I began holding the bong. My familiar physical reality of being Jimmy, who just smoked Salvia. Except I felt like something was holding me back. I was just wearing boxers and a t-shirt under a blanket, but it felt like the blanket was some sort of pouch or sack that was holding me down. Then I felt a suction on the couch, as well as the feeling of my clothes and the blanket turning into roots and tightening around me and pulling me backward. I grew frantically terrified, and started wrestling with my surroundings to free myself.
At one moment I was being held down by a bunch of men in brown robes, one in particular who had a red crest on the left side of his robe on his chest. He revealed his face and it was my grandpa. He was the 'big brother' who orchestrated my entire existence. He was my grandfather in the physical reality that I'm used to, but in the new realm in which I was for the moment, he explained that he only chose to be my grandfather so he could watch me and guide me. And then I was worrying about the blanket becoming increasingly tight. Next, I was flashing back and forth between sitting on the couch beside my girlfriend and brother, and then the forest again. Then I realized I was on my couch and there were no monks, but I was still stuck to the couch.
It felt like an hour long struggle that took all of my strength, but I finally got myself free from the couch, and suddenly dove forward. I ended up knocking over the coffee table, knocking over the bong and tripping on my own shoe, and I landed on the couch on the other wall. Two couches in the room. At that point, my brother told me to stand up so I did. I was back in my reality. Everything as I knew it, was back to normal and as far as I knew, all I had done was take a big hoot of salvia, and I had a bad trip. As soon as I stood up, I came down and almost started crying and insisted loudly that my girlfriend should not try it!
The scariest thing about everything is how incredibly real everything was. It didn't just feel real. It was real. Even now, more than twenty-four hours later, my mind is confused because of how real it was. I experienced everything mentioned above for real. Logically, I know I didn't, but I still cannot get over how overwhelmingly real it all was.
My girlfriend and brother were both quite scared too, especially after I described everything that happened as best as I could (my story at the time had big gaps and loose-ends because I only remembered a large portion of my experience tonight). They both told me that I was basically comatose for just under five minutes. I sat there, slowly swaying around in subtle circles, unresponsive to ANY stimuli (they both tried talking to me, touching me, snapping their fingers in front of my eyes and I didn't respond). So I just sat there for around four minutes, completely immersed in a vegetative state, drooling, with eyes glazed more than either had ever seen, pupils the size of the colored part of my eyes, and occasionally groaning. All the struggling and wrestling that was so real to me, did not physically happen in the least. I didn't even so much as raise my arm.
Even now, I am confused, upset, disturbed and somewhat traumatized and extremely confused about what happened. My girlfriend still hasn't tried it, and probably won't. Hallucinating is not fun, even though I will probably try salvia again in a different setting. I think the room was just too dark. I still cannot believe the shit I saw.
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