Citation: X. "Being in a Spinning Infinite Regression Photo: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp45700)". Erowid.org. Nov 26, 2007. erowid.org/exp/45700
Ok.. I'm literally typing this right after I regained the feeling of actually being me again (maybe :P). This is almost impossible to describe, but I will try to the best of my ability.
The setting was my room, sitting on my bed which is next to a window. I had the fan on in the window blowing outwards to get the smoke out of my room. I calmed myself down, while still being a bit scared that my parents would somehow find out what I was doing. But, when I took the hit I was as relaxed as possible. I had done salvia twice before this, with little effect. The first time I had done it with some '21x' extract that I got at a headshop. I really don't think it was standardized, because the most my friend and I got out of it was uncontrollable laughter for a while. The second time I tried it was earlier today at a friend's house, after smoking some cannabis. Again, this experience wasn't groundbreaking, but still pretty fun because of the laughing and giddy feelings. There was some feeling of synergy between the cannabis and salvia, but not enough salvia was pulled deep into my lungs to cause anything groundbreaking to happen. Both of these times were characterized by the laughing and a strange gravity feeling pulling on me.
The following is what I am starting to think of as my groundbreaking experience. However, I am still unsure about what I exactly saw or felt during it, and I of course cannot fully explain the feelings in words. Here is how it started off:
I loaded up about a half bowl of the extract into my waterpipe, and took a rather long and large hit from it, clearing the chamber after inhaling for about 10 or 15 seconds. I then held in the smoke for about 25-30 seconds, while contemplating whether or not to take another hit. Just before exhaling, I could feel it hitting me hard, so I quickly decided to finish exhaling and put down my waterpipe and lighter onto the windowsill. What happened next as I let my body fall backwards onto my bed I cannot fully describe. It was a very strange feeling, and I still am not sure if I had my eyes open the whole time or not. I do remember closing them slowly as I was descending, but I can't remember if I kept them closed, or kept them open.
I could feel the gravity effect that usually marks a salvia experience on my chest and right above my chin where my lower and upper jaws meet. It felt as if I was being pulled backwards by two cords which were wrapped around my upper chest and the jaw meeting point. I still felt the strange gravity effect while I was laying down. Then, all I can remember happening from there is seeing the image of my windowsill repeatedly move in a spinning motion. The way in which it moved was exactly how objects appear to move after you spin yourself around and get dizzy. I'm sure most people have done that as a kid, and it gives a good explanation for the feeling I had at the time. Only, instead of a horizontal spinning, it was a vertical spinning motion towards me, directed in the same direction as I was being pulled. As if I had done a few too many backflips, and was dizzy in that way. Then, after looking at the moving windowsill for a while, I realized that I was somehow a part of it. I distinctly felt as though I was a part of an infinitely spinning image that had no up or down. It was like one of those pictures that you can look at one way, then spin it upside down and then see another picture.
It was as if I was inside one of those and someone was repeatedly spinning it around.
I somehow felt as if I formed two of the sides of the windowsill box as it was spinning, so my arm was one of the vertical sides, and my body/legs were the bottom side of the box. I had the distinct impression that I wasn't the only 'me' there, and I can't explain how, but I saw behind me another version of me spinning with the windowsill. This whole time I knew I was a person, but simultaneously being a part of the windowsill and being a person frightened me, and I tried to peel myself out of it. I also felt as if someone was watching me as I spun with the windowsill, and I was also frightened by this. 'Peeling' is the only word that somehow describes how I felt coming out of the spinning windowsill. Peeling myself out gave me a tingling sensation down my arm and across my chest, where I believed I was attached to the windowsill/spinning picture thing.
I remember standing up with some difficulty and looking at myself in the mirror, while I still felt all tingly from being peeled out of an inanimate object. Standing up was very hard, because I had to spin my body in the opposite direction from the gravity feeling and the spinning. I think I tried to say something like 'oh my god!!!' a few times, but nothing would come out. Now I know the feeling of being so amazed that I was speechless. I walked over to my desk and drank some mountain dew which helped the feeling of tingling and the pulling gravity go away. Then, I sat back down on my bed, all the time feeling that at any second I could become part of the windowsill again if I leaned back while being close enough to it. For some reason I didn't want this to happen, and sat wondering in awe at how I escaped being a part of the infinitely spinning box that was my windowsill, and if I was the real me, or if I was another one of the many versions of me I saw while spinning in the box.
I decided I could lay down once the tingling and gravity feeling died down, and was no longer afraid of becoming the windowsill again. Then I chuckled to myself about how amazingly disoriented I was, and how I had defeated the force that pulled me into the infinitely spinning box. I still had no idea if I was the original me or not, but I just laughed it off. It was similar to the laugh you'd have after going on a freefall ride at an amusement park, and then trying to laugh while falling, with some difficulty and excitement.
Now I sit here typing this up, still not sure if I'm the real me, or if I somehow jumped dimensions, or changed into one of the other versions of me that I saw while stuck as two sides of the windowsill box. Perhaps spinning while merging with some object is how it feels to be pulled across realities? I'm still rather confused about what exactly happened. It seemed like the whole spinning part took anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute before I 'peeled' myself out of the windowsill. I now wish that I had a sitter because I want to know what I looked like and did while having the experience.
I also am unsure if I ever stood up, or if I did anything after laying back after the first hit. The only word I could think of to describe it fully just after I was sure it was over was 'weird!'. After the initial craziness feeling subsided, I was left with a nice calming afterglow which I can describe as cannabis-like. The afterglow is like a light cannabis buzz.
In conclusion, I must say that this experience was both frightening and amazing at the same time, to infinite degrees. I would like to try doing it again, but maybe with a sitter just to make sure I don't do anything really stupid, or totally freak out next time :P.
Take the concept of infinite reflections in a set of mirrors, and apply it to my windowsill, while spinning vertically and having me as a part of it. Very strange indeed. They aren't kidding when they say the 20x is potent! This was from 1 hit, and I still have a lot left both in the bowl and in the original container.
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