Citation: tripper. "Complete Dissociation: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp4564)". Erowid.org. Dec 27, 2001. erowid.org/exp/4564
This is my report. I am from Sweden so excuse any spelling errors.
I had bought ten times extraction of Salvia Divinorum, and tried it the first time two days ago. The second time I tried it was new years eve of 2000. I took the first hits 20,00, but only felt very strange from it. So I loaded the bong the next time 21,00 and lighted it.
After I took two hits the same strangeness appeared like the last time, like my personality split. One personality said: do not smoke more! That happened the last time I smoked too, and there was this deja-vu where I felt that the person that smoked last time was also there, like two versions of me was there at the same time. But I considered that I hadn't got any hallucinations from this drugs so what's the problem? This time I'm not gonna be a coward, I thought. So I smoked the rest of the bong also, and there was a lot left. Next time I remember anything I had somehow moved myself to the couch.
It was total dissociation into nothingness. I wasn't there but some conciousness that saw the room with my eyes. It was not like I became one with nature or some conciousness or god like on mushrooms or hash. I just disappeared. There was some frightening moments when it was impossible to make out any difference between 'me' and everything else.
Then some primitive force began the struggle to decontruct my ego from nothingness. It was first impossible, because there was no difference between the room and the body of the person in the room. What is the point of associating anything to that? There is nothing there, the conciousness thought.
It was just so absurd that anything was there at all. Then a tiny bit of my ego was deconstructed enough to make me say 'this drug only lasts for 15 minutes.' This probably made me avoid panicking, or maybe the concept of panic was just too absurd to even associate anything with.
I felt a heart beating so that helped the situation a bit. But it didn't feel like my heart, just some machine pumping. There was just this primitive urge to reconstruct myself again. I began to dissociate again and to avoid this I stood up and walked to the other couch. I saw the time and it was 22,30. I thought I just sit here and when it is 23,00 this trip will be over. I prayed to Jesus to help my ego to recontruct. I had a trance CD playing and I began to dissociate again and the concept of me being a person was so absurd. To help up the situation I walked up and managed to put on an old vinyl record from the 80's. That helped my ego to associate with something and the salvia began to wear off now.
I looked for closed eye visuals but there was nothing. I turned on internet and looked on some psychedelic stuff. My eyes's perceptions was enhanced but not enough to call it psychedelic.
Then it was over and I didn't get any hangover or side-effects from it. I went downtown and watched the fireworks for the start of the new year 2001. The next day it felt so good just to be a person and do ordinary things.
I do not regret doing this, because this was an extra-ordinary interesting experience even if it was not a bit pleasant. I will never do Salvia again, because I got as high as possible on it but it was just nothing there, just complete ego-death and dissociation. In less than extreme doses I only felt strange. Except for the usual legal drugs I've tried hash, DMT, XTC, 2-CB, weed, coca, phenedrin, magic mushrooms, kava. Compared to them Salvia is an extreme hardcore drug, only for people who are ready for ego-death. It is not a psychedelic, it is a dissociative. An experience like this could be dangerous for people that are not well prepared and with a strong mind.
Before I smoked the Salvia I wanted a mind-blowing experience, so I was in a good mood. Also I had read 'the Psychedelic experience', which is based on 'the Tibetans' Book of the dead'. So I know what ego-death was and the different ways to be 'reborn' from it. From what I read in this book I think I handled it well, because I took guidance from Jesus to associate myself to a person again. Besides the book 'the Psychedelic Experience' is based on Buddhist ideas, so I cannot apply everything in it to me.
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