Citation: Willow. "I Was Too Scared To Sleep: An Experience with Nutmeg (exp45527)". Erowid.org. Dec 20, 2008. erowid.org/exp/45527
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Early afternoon, I got home from class and decided for a nutmeg trip. I had done it a few times before with success so I figured I'd do it again. I was all for nutmeg because it gave me similar effects to marijuana, lasted longer, and it was legal.
I took the dose in a small cup, after stirring it up in some milk, since nutmeg doesn't mix, I ended up gagging a few times from the drink but kept it down just fine. About an hour later, a friend of mine came over. I told him I'd taken some nutmeg and he, being cautious about drugs, told me that what I had done was stupid, which I think aided in putting me in my final mental state for the evening/night.
About an 2 or 2 and a half hours after consuming the nutmeg, I began to feel it kicking in, similar to the first effects of marijuana, I started feeling spacy, with pressure on my face, and warming and reddening of my cheeks. About a half hour after this, I had made my way out to the kitchen to make my friend some coffee, then proceeded to sit in front of the refigerator because I had 'magnetic poetry' (a must for stoners). I noticed that I was more stoned than I had ever been on anything else at any other time. I began feeling somewhat like the things I was saying or thinking weren't involved with my body. I felt very euphoric. This was the first time that I had even realized that I was IN the kitchen. The only thing I remember about the kitchen was telling him different things that I had written on the fridge with the words, I totally felt like everything I was doing or saying was awesome and great, but felt very paranoid because all my friend would tell me was that I was messed up.
Around this time I started panicing, thinking I took way too much. We were sitting in my living room and I was on the beanbag chair in the fetal position. I looked awful. My eyes were bloodshot and glossy, my face was red and it felt swollen. I felt fine physically, I could have been in pain unless the nutmeg was numbing it. I also felt like I didn't want to move, I sat there with my head resting on my knees for quite sometime. I was shaking alot, I'd have sudden, strong twitches of my hands, arms, legs, and neck. Emotionally and mentally I felt sicker than I ever had in my life. I didn't as much feel like I was going to die, but I was almost certain that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't wake up and I'd die that night.
After sitting on my beanbag for about an hour, I thought my friend was frustrated with my actions. Whether or not he was, I'm not sure. At this time I proceeded to my bedroom, stumbling down the hallway and laid on my bed in my dark room for a while trying to cry or scream, but feeling like I couldn't. I just ended up yelling in a monotone voice. All I felt was that I was dying, that night would be my last night, and that I didn't want to die that way even though I had felt absolutely no physical pain besides a slight headache. I laid there for what seemed to be for about a half hour until I decided to go back out to my living room where my friend was still sitting on my couch.
He was decorating his drum that he had brought over. I then decided to lay down on the floor and he decided to leave. I felt betrayed. If I was really overdosing on nutmeg, he should have stayed with me. I felt that he left because he was fed up with my actions. At this time it was probably about 1am. I then got on the computer online because I wanted to talk to someone so I was using AOL IM to talk to a friend of mine. She had recorded me typing, 'If I die, my existance will only grow?' I decided at some point in the conversation that I was too restless to type and that I needed someone to TALK to. At this time it was about 2am. I called another friend of mine and told him what was up. All I remember saying alot was 'I took nutmeg and I don't know.' My speech began to be more slurred and mixed up and I couldn't think, walk, or talk right. It was to the point where he was going to come over and stay with me to make sure nothing would happen.
The whole night was mostly a blur now that I look back on it. I can't even remember exactly how I felt, but I knew what I felt was sincere. For the next few days I felt hungover like nothing else after I finally passed out asleep at around 3 or 4am. For the next few days, I was extremely dehydrated and groggy. The thing about the nutmeg is that I had taken this much before and had not nearly the effect as I did that night. Needless to say, I'm too scared to do it again.
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