Citation: Consciousmess. "Worst Torture Possible: An Experience with LSD (exp45127)". Erowid.org. Nov 5, 2019. erowid.org/exp/45127
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I have to firstly say that I completely advocate the use of drugs as Ive had fantastic experiences on so many occasions. However, there was one time in my drug history where I took too much LSD and had an experience I could only equate as utter Hell.
I was 19 at the time and completely up for doing any drug. I bought 10 trips from my neighbour at college and went home to do acid with my friend.
The night began with him and I going to this girl's birthday party, but before going in I said to my friend that we should take 3 trips each (I had a brilliant experience in the past with acid and assumed that taking 3 times the strength could only make it 3 times better). The night began really well as my friend and I gradually became higher and higher on acid at this girl's party. Of course the party was at her parents house, hosted by her parents so we weren't exactly doing the most civilised of activities. I told my friend that we had to leave and he agreed so we left to walk home. I lived in quite a rural area and so the walk home was essentially through part of a town and the country...
The walk home was phenomenal. Whenever I used to do acid, the whole time-era I was in went back to the 1950s as everything became black-and-white, and the streetlights gave a neon tint making the whole world be in pure technicolor. So many mad incomprehensible occurance took place like a huge friendly Great Dane in the middle of nowhere with no owner with it. Imagine that, walking down a country road and fields far miles from any houses and a huge Great Dane comes up to greet you. This was obviously a stray dog but the coincidence of us tripping as well was mad!! And we were still getting higher and higher on acid...
Anyway, once we got back I said to my friend that I wanted to go in and listen to the Orb music to really add to the experience. We separated from each other and I got in my house. This must have been the early hours of the morning and I knew that its always a good thing to drink a glass of orange juice before going to bed when I've been tripping.
I opened the fridge door and got a glass from the cupboard. I then started to pour the orange juice and the whole world then became orange, pure ORANGE. This was the hallucination becoming solid, no trails of lights on the edges of objects, but a complete change of my visual field to the colour ORANGE. The whole world became one single shade of orange, no differences in shades, just all the same shade of orange.
Of course I started to panic and the experience got worse and worse. I then had the images that I was seeing, merging into each other all around me. Every image around me - what was a toaster, what was a kettle, what was an orange juice carton, a chair, they all started merging into each other and I was seeing images as though they were monsters approaching me from the left again and again and again.
I lost the complete 'core self' that we all have. I term this 'core consciousness' - the part of you which is the experience of being 'you'. Your 'I' if you like. That went from me and all I was thinking about was 'This is insanity there is no 'I' I am just an amalgamation of sensory inputs, I do not exist. I also thought that even though I was 19 I was wearing my mind out completely i.e. I thought I had the mind of a 100 year old person and so I was running out of my finite numebr of thoughts.
I must have at some point taken all my clothes off, because I then remember walking round my small village completely naked with not an item of clothing on me.
The whole trip lasted for at least 14 hours as I eventually came down enough to find where I was and get back into my bedroom. I have to tell you though, I cant image an experience ever being worse than that.
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