Xanax Stole My Soul.
Citation: Lisa. "Xanax Stole My Soul.: An Experience with Alprazolam (exp45060)". Erowid.org. Mar 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/45060
I've always been more than willing to try over the counter drugs but never really got up off of my lazy pot smoking ass to go and search for any. I had bought 2 percocets off of my brother once, but smoked so much weed that day I didn't really even notice the effects.
About a week ago though, I was chilling in my backyard smoking the sweet ganja with my friend Oliver when I realized my mom had tried giving my dog a half a pill of Xanax on the night of Fourth of July to try and calm his nervous little ass down. I immediately was ashamed of myself realizing that she had been prescribed Xanax about six months ago and I had just NOW realized it. So, from that day on I started on my quest for XANAX!
I searched the bathroom, the kitchen, and even broke into my parents room when they were gone trying to score even just one little pill. No luck.
A few days later, I was coming down off speed, my drug of choice, searching through my favorite site. I was reading other people's experiences with Xanax when I decided that I NEEDED to have this drug in my possesion as soon as possible. Both parents had gone to bed early that night so I snooped around in my moms purse that had been left in the living room and walah. There it was! A prescription bottle had never looked so pretty. There were about 25 little peach pills in it. I stole one and decided to look up how many mg it contained. I learned Peach pills = .5 mg. I decided that .5 mg just wouldn't be enough, so I went back attempting to steal 2 more. I took the bottle out of her purse this time and brought the bottle back into my room. I took 2 more, but when I came out to put the bottle back, her purse was gone. So I freaked for about 3 minutes and then said to myself hey, you snooze you lose bitch! I kept the whole bottle :)
Well, that night maybe around 10:30 I took about 4 and pretty much just fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to my mom at 6 a.m. telling me to wake up and get ready for work. I screamed 'FUCK THAT. I QUIT!!' and quit my first job that I had only started at a week ago. I definitely did NOT want this to happen. I enjoyed my job and was already making bank. But I was so incredibly tired and messed up the Xanax was doing all the talking for me. I called my mom fat, said alot of bullshit that I didn't really mean and ended up passing back out.
I woke up a few hours later still coming down, still depressed, weed, speed and cigarette-less. I felt like the world was about to end. And that was completely fine with me. I probably took about 5 that morning, and from that point on I was a complete zombie. I consumed the rest of the 16 pills that day even though I only remember taking a total of 9. That day was definitely one of the strangest day of my life.
One thing I remember was dialing an ex boyfriends number. I remember him not answering (thankgod) but leaving a voicemail. I have no idea what I said on the voicemail but I'm pretty damn sure I made an ass out of myself. Ohhh well. The only other thing I really remember was laying in bed staring at the walls and ceiling deciding that it was time for me to finally kill myself. I didn't care about anything anymore. I was completely ready to die.
I couldn't move. I could barely walk. I'm not sure how I even got by speaking to my parents that day. It's truly a miracle that they are that oblivious (especially after my moms entire bottle was missing.) That's all I did was sit, sleep, and apparently pop more and more pills that day. Obviously, I had over dosed.
The next day I had opened the bottle to see that all the pills were gone. I was pretty upset, but my dad ended up smoking me out that day so I began to feel a little hope.
Well, even though it's only been a few days since my traumatic experience, I'm still jobless and it sucks. I embarassed and hurt my mom for no reason and stole her happy pills. I made a complete ass out of myself and feel like a loser but hey life goes on. I am finally feeling like my happy pothead self again though and I'm glad.
There is one thing though that kind of scared me. Over the next few days I developed the biggest and nastiest bruises on my inner thighs and backs of my knees. They don't hurt as much as they look, and they finally stopped appearing but I have NO recollection of falling or bumping into things. They are really quite ugly and scary. I look and feel like a dirty hooker but hey that's okay with me.
I had a pretty crazy experience and yes I would definitely try a smaller dosage of Xanax again. I'm actually waiting for my mom to refill her prescription so I can steal some to actually enjoy with friends. Hopefully if you're thinking about taking Xanax you are not as dumb as I was. Most likely people WILL notice that you are fucked up and you might do things you really regret. Xanax may help a comedown, but taking too much will just make it a hundred times worse.
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