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Xanax Stole My Soul.
by Lisa
Citation:   Lisa. "Xanax Stole My Soul.: An Experience with Alprazolam (ID 45060)". Erowid.org. Mar 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/45060

12.5 mg oral Pharms - Alprazolam (pill / tablet)


I've always been more than willing to try over the counter drugs but never really got up off of my lazy pot smoking ass to go and search for any. I had bought 2 percocets off of my brother once, but smoked so much weed that day I didn't really even notice the effects.

About a week ago though, I was chilling in my backyard smoking the sweet ganja with my friend Oliver when I realized my mom had tried giving my dog a half a pill of Xanax on the night of Fourth of July to try and calm his nervous little ass down. I immediately was ashamed of myself realizing that she had been prescribed Xanax about six months ago and I had just NOW realized it. So, from that day on I started on my quest for XANAX!

I searched the bathroom, the kitchen, and even broke into my parents room when they were gone trying to score even just one little pill. No luck.

A few days later, I was coming down off speed, my drug of choice, searching through my favorite site. I was reading other people's experiences with Xanax when I decided that I NEEDED to have this drug in my possesion as soon as possible. Both parents had gone to bed early that night so I snooped around in my moms purse that had been left in the living room and walah. There it was! A prescription bottle had never looked so pretty. There were about 25 little peach pills in it. I stole one and decided to look up how many mg it contained. I learned Peach pills = .5 mg. I decided that .5 mg just wouldn't be enough, so I went back attempting to steal 2 more. I took the bottle out of her purse this time and brought the bottle back into my room. I took 2 more, but when I came out to put the bottle back, her purse was gone. So I freaked for about 3 minutes and then said to myself hey, you snooze you lose bitch! I kept the whole bottle :)

Well, that night maybe around 10:30 I took about 4 and pretty much just fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to my mom at 6 a.m. telling me to wake up and get ready for work. I screamed 'FUCK THAT. I QUIT!!' and quit my first job that I had only started at a week ago. I definitely did NOT want this to happen. I enjoyed my job and was already making bank. But I was so incredibly tired and messed up the Xanax was doing all the talking for me. I called my mom fat, said alot of bullshit that I didn't really mean and ended up passing back out.

I woke up a few hours later still coming down, still depressed, weed, speed and cigarette-less. I felt like the world was about to end. And that was completely fine with me. I probably took about 5 that morning, and from that point on I was a complete zombie. I consumed the rest of the 16 pills that day even though I only remember taking a total of 9. That day was definitely one of the strangest day of my life.

One thing I remember was dialing an ex boyfriends number. I remember him not answering (thankgod) but leaving a voicemail. I have no idea what I said on the voicemail but I'm pretty damn sure I made an ass out of myself. Ohhh well. The only other thing I really remember was laying in bed staring at the walls and ceiling deciding that it was time for me to finally kill myself. I didn't care about anything anymore. I was completely ready to die.

I couldn't move. I could barely walk. I'm not sure how I even got by speaking to my parents that day. It's truly a miracle that they are that oblivious (especially after my moms entire bottle was missing.) That's all I did was sit, sleep, and apparently pop more and more pills that day. Obviously, I had over dosed.

The next day I had opened the bottle to see that all the pills were gone. I was pretty upset, but my dad ended up smoking me out that day so I began to feel a little hope.

Well, even though it's only been a few days since my traumatic experience, I'm still jobless and it sucks. I embarassed and hurt my mom for no reason and stole her happy pills. I made a complete ass out of myself and feel like a loser but hey life goes on. I am finally feeling like my happy pothead self again though and I'm glad.

There is one thing though that kind of scared me. Over the next few days I developed the biggest and nastiest bruises on my inner thighs and backs of my knees. They don't hurt as much as they look, and they finally stopped appearing but I have NO recollection of falling or bumping into things. They are really quite ugly and scary. I look and feel like a dirty hooker but hey that's okay with me.

I had a pretty crazy experience and yes I would definitely try a smaller dosage of Xanax again. I'm actually waiting for my mom to refill her prescription so I can steal some to actually enjoy with friends. Hopefully if you're thinking about taking Xanax you are not as dumb as I was. Most likely people WILL notice that you are fucked up and you might do things you really regret. Xanax may help a comedown, but taking too much will just make it a hundred times worse.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 45060
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 3, 2007Views: 196,250
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