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A Warrior Within
Citation:   B.D.B.. "A Warrior Within: An Experience with Datura (exp44835)". Aug 21, 2006.

150 seeds oral Datura
At the time of my first Datura Stramonium usage I was 16 years old. I heard many stories about Datura from my friends and was eager to check out Datura myself. An experienced friend of mine got me approximately 150 very potent seeds (they were black and dark brown) but I didn't want to use them yet.

I wanted to learn more about Datura, so I checked online. I've read a lot about Datura and I didn't want to eat those seeds like many people did; without a sitter and proper setting, so I waited for a chance to consume those seeds properly.

I guess it would be important to note that I suffer from manic-depressive psychosis for years. For those who are not familiar with manic-depressive psychosis, let me just put it like this: for a month I feel great; like I can achieve anything I try and I also get involved in many different activities. But then, suddenly, I start to feel really messed up. I become extremely sad and depressive. That's when the depressive psychosis is starting to hit me. When I was about 12 years old I used to cut myself with a blade when the depressive psychosis started to happen (after the manic ones), because it was just too painful state of mind. Few times I was very close to committing a suicide.

At the time of acquiring Datura seeds I was in manic state of mind.

Soon after acquiring Datura seeds, my manic state of mind became depressive. This was the most terrible depression ever and it was triggered by heavy emotions of pain and loneliness.

That caused me to think and act irrational, so this one Friday night I prepared my room for my first Datura trip. I removed all sharp objects from my room and got a lot of free space in it (I guessed I would want to walk around while tripping on Datura). Also, I got myself cold water.

I wanted to totally fuck up my brain and to hurt myself, but I didn't want to die (or I wanted to die, but didn't want my family and friends to mourn).

I ate all of those seeds on an empty stomach. They were bitter (as expected), but not too bad. I chewed them easily and used water to help me swallow. I laid on my bed to relax.

I felt sharp pain in my eyes. I assumed that my pupils were dilating so I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My pupils were extremely dilated. For an unknown reason, this was pretty entertaining for me. I got back to my room and locked the door. I hid the key, just in case of a heavy delirium.

I felt somewhat bored and tired so I tried to sleep. I was surprised to find out that trying to sleep made me feel uncomfortable and I became very thirsty. I was aware that the Datura trip was starting to happen. I drank some water and laid back to bed.

I was looking at the wall, hoping to see changes. Soon, I noticed that shadow on the wall was starting to move slowly; it was pouring down the wall like honey. That made me feel very pleased because I knew that it was not real (although it seemed quite real) and that it was just my brain playing it's own little games with my perception. Also, I saw a lot of little white flying worms which made me laugh and feel happy.

XX:XX (Soon after that pouring shadow I lost track of the time)
Suddenly I felt a need to urinate. I found the hidden key (it took me some time to find it) and went to the bathroom. My movement was very slow; it seemed like gravity is twice stronger than before. I tried to urinate but I could barely stand. I sat on the toilet and it felt like I'm going to be stuck in it (stronger gravity sensation). I was still aware that this is just an effect caused by Datura and my brain, although it was not easy to keep that in my mind all of the time. I still couldn't urinate and it caused me pain. I only got few drops of urine out, but it wasn't nearly enough. I gave up trying, washed my hands and returned to my room.

In the center of my room there was a belt. I picked it up and carried it out of my room (to the hallway). In the hallway, there was another belt. I remembered that that belt was in my room and that I carried it to the hallway (it was my younger brother's belt). I looked at the belt in my hand and then I checked that belt on the floor. It was the same belt but it didn't seem to be a problem for me. I just left the other belt near the one that was already there and returned to my room.

I've spotted another belt in the center of my room. Not a big deal, I just carried it to the hallway and left it along the other two belts and returned to my room.

Again, there was a belt in the center of my room. I repeated the process about twenty times in a row. It didn't seem strange to me that the center of my room was a spawning place for my younger brother's belt. Not a bit strange.

Now, there was a really large pile of belts in front of my room and I started to think: 'Just a second... There are no bloody belts in front of my room at all !' I looked at the pile of belts and it was gone ! There was just one belt which I carried out of my room while cleaning it and that was very funny for me. I was glad that Datura was messing me up and that I was making a fool out of myself.

I felt stomach-ache and remembered that I really have to urinate. I went to the toilet but I still couldn't do it. It made me feel rather unhappy (not sad, just unhappy) and unsatisfied. It was like when after sex I feel need to urinate, but I just can't do it. I washed my hands and returned to my room.

I laid on the bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't; I felt Datura. She (Datura) was acting like a spoiled little girl who wants me to play with her and is not going to let me rest until Iplay her games. I got off the bed and took that bottle of water which I left near the wall. I started to drink the water, but the taste was bitter and disgusting. Then a sudden thought ran through my head: 'Dude, you didn't leave that damn bottle of water near the wall, you've left it near your bed !'

I felt a sudden dread confusion when I realised that there is no bottle in my hands at all. It lasted only for a moment, but it was quite scary. I fought off that sensation and drank some of the real water. That victory over such horrible and shocking sensation made me feel strong and very proud. I felt like a brave warrior who has just defeated an evil quasi-god.

I've spent the rest of the night going to the bathroom, rolling over my bed and walking around my room.

I woke up at about 10:00 in the morning.

At first I felt a bit fuzzy and puzzled but I soon remembered what has just happened and gathered as much as I could about the last night. I felt great, sober and relaxed - there was not even a smallest sign of depression. I felt my next manic phase starting and that was extremely nice cognition.

My pupils were still dilated and I couldn't read a thing for the whole day, but I didn't worry about it (I knew that this was just a Datura side-effect).

After this fantastic experience I've tried Datura few times again and those trips were fine, but they can't compare to my first one.

BTW, I've never again had strong depressive psychosis like I had before eating Datura seeds and I've also stopped hurting myself. I still wonder if there is a link between Datura exp. and my weaker depressive psychosis.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 44835
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 21, 2006Views: 26,711
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Datura (15) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Health Benefits (32), First Times (2)

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