Citation: Savage Beast. "On Religious Experience: An Experience with Morning Glory & Nutmeg (exp44106)". Erowid.org. Dec 4, 2006. erowid.org/exp/44106
“On Religious Experience”
I am forming a religion
and you will be expected to join
come now, let us run
through the hills and into the forest
dance around mystical fires
to invoke powerful psychedelic visions
from the depths of our souls
and we will laugh playfully
like innocent young children
at the ludicrousness of existence
and all of its pale shallow demons
that we have learned to escape
for it is all just a simple, stupid game
Go now my child
It is alright, you will not be alone
You have your mind and soul as guardians
If have remained pure they will aid you
In your journey through these hells
That they call “the real world”
Sometimes one must fight
Using intangibly violent spiritual force
To glorify what is right
The morning of June 20th I began “fasting”, for what was to be an undecided period of time. From the study of many world religions, an assortment of meditation documents and the book “The Psychedelic Experience” By Timothy Leary, I had planned a very significant mystic meditation experience which I anticipated, or at least hoped, would change my life forever. That afternoon at 5:45 PM, (on an otherwise empty stomach) I consumed one of two sacred psychedelic brews, this one containing the organic (and fully safe, legal and non habit forming) psychoactive alkaloids, Myristicin, Safrole, and Elemicin. At 9:15 PM, a deliberately calculated 3.5 hours later, I consumed the second sacred psychedelic brew, this one containing the similarly organic (fully safe, legal and non habit forming) ergot alkaloids: Lysergic Acid Amide, Isolysergic Acid Amide, Ergotmetrine, Chanoclavine, Elymoclavine and Lysergol. At 10:30 PM, 2.25 hours preceding the consumption of the second sacred psychedelic brew, I induced/commenced meditation.
The meditation only lasted an estimated 4 hours, the fast just over 24 hours, and the psychoactive effects of the brews an approximate 36 hours, their effects changed my life entirely, and this is the story of what happened under their influence, which I began writing at 3:30 AM, June 22nd, still under the diminishing influence of the overall experience.
Along with my preparation for the meditation I had prepared a special selection of music that was to play during it. The songs were all instrumental without vocals, and were moderately surreal sounding songs, of a very wide range—everything from ethnic/cultural music to “psychedelic folk.” I set the music to play and positioned myself on the floor in meditation stance. The mere written words I can use to convey what transpired during the 4 hours I spent in the meditation will be quite annulled (in my thoughts) in comparison with the vastness and power of what actually happened, but I will attempt to explain nonetheless.
As I began the meditation procedure, amazing things began happening to me, with closed eyes, open eyes, and during unconsciousness, this is what I can remember: at one point I was in a tunnel, a tunnel of spirits eating my soul as they flew past me, in a procedure of my spiritual destruction/rebirth. I began learning the fact that what was happening to me was something very deeply significant, but did not immediately figure out what it was in its entirety. During a period of closed eyes, the music began possessing my soul, causing an intense vision of myself taking part in a spiritual ceremony with a couple fantastic deities representing different elements of nature. This was very significant for me. At one point I was in a void—outer space, if you will—and I was left in this void to float, as many significant visions were fed unto my being which I cannot explain.
During meditation, two images were gazed upon as part of the procedure, one being that of a figure of a naked woman, causing a bold sexual revelation which I must admit did involve sexual gratification but also a more in depth mental revelation about my own sexual history, past and future; and the other being a surreal artistic and psychedelic image called “3-D vision by Salayuth,” (provided upon request) which invoked a vision of an Egyptian beetle dancing in a second, less significant ceremony, in which he danced in front of me displaying weapons, and sending different images into my mind.
I later experienced the renowned hallucinogenic occurrence of “seeing sound and hearing sight.” There were also many vibrant, pleasant and understood-ably fabricated hallucinations—of an energetic ball of electricity pulsating and dancing around in front of me, I attempting to catch and consume it, but being unable to. Another one was of me being in a void and then taking part in a colossal explosion, a big bang if you will, with ear piercing noise and blinding energy being produced from black nothingness—when somewhere a long the way, I had a powerful realization relating to a point made in a recent essay I wrote entitled “On Reality.”
This was the realization was that what was happening I knew to be hallucinations—Well of course I knew, that there were amazing things happening to me, of course they were hallucinations—but how did I know? How did I know that all of them were fabrications of my mind? Could they be real? Well as a matter of fact they very well could be. Who is to say that all of the characters and occurrences I was visualizing were not real? Certainly, if no one else, then I would be the person to answer the question of weather or not they were real, and as far as I was concerned at that point, they were—Why this fairy land is as good as real! I thought—and that’s just it, as good as real. Who is to say it wasn’t? Not you, and especially not me. Why, as a matter of fact, it certainly may exist, and as far as anyone can prove, it does—I was in it right then and there.
And that was my biggest revelation: I thought that what I was experiencing was a fabrication, but who was I to say or think it wasn’t, how did I know for sure it was a fabrication, it was certainly happening to me very boldly and vividly at that very moment, how did I not know it was real? What if it was real? Was I so accustomed to the normalcy of the non-magical and non-fantastic physical reality on earth that I quickly deny any mystic occurrences? Well, I thought to myself, realizing more what the overall significance of my entire experience was to be, I am going to turn this one into a sincerely, significant, psychedelic, spiritual journey and mental voyage, which will change my life. So I laid back into my captors arms, and let it do the rest of the work—which it did quite divinely.
So then, what was the overall meaning of my experience? Well, my friends, that is a very good question, and I’m glad you asked it (or rather, glad I asked it, and then answered it, and then wrote it here, so that you in your minds would ask it, and then I again could answer it for you, and then you could use it for your benefit), so here is the answer: I can form your own religion! Yes it’s that simple. What a stupid revelation, huh? Why its laughable—I had this intense an experience just to come to such a simple and well known conclusion, why most people already know that you can form your own religion.
Well, to tell you the truth, so did I, and I also know that everyone reading already knew it, but I never stopped to think about it. Most people out there already worship someone else. Something else. A slave to another god, spending constant energy devoted to it, as its disciple. Why not worship something more like — Myself?! Because that’s crazy? Who is there to think that it’s crazy--myself? And no one should think my religion to be crazy because no one has to know about it.
The world's religons are not from my mind, they are not derived at all from any of my doing(s), and they did not give birth to me, so what is the point? I have been worshipping something someone else created! That is all. It is a mere creation of another man. Much like an idol, if you will. All religions are created by someone, why not create one for myself, for me and only me.
Are we not but simple piles of shit
Molded like clay
Into stupid hand puppets
Playing little games?
Well what if I do not wish to play anymore?
What if I wish to remove this hand from my ass,
And be my own person?
Be gone possessor!
I shalt be possessed no more!
The following are a set of Keys derived by me, that form the basis of my religon.
1. Mental indulgence/stimulation (& thought) is the first key
2. Sensory deprivation, is the second key
3. Sensory indulgence/stimulation, is the third key
4. Meditation, or other similar mentally sedating activity is the fifth key
5. Consumption of sacred entheogens or conducting a similar mentally stimulating and spiritually enriching activity is the fifth key
6. Deep thought and documentation are the sixth key
Thank you for reading, and may you be successful.
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