DOSE:

repeated

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

134 lb

The first time I ever used ecstasy, it was the best feeling I had ever felt in my life. Never had I ever been in such a high state of euphoria, it was the nirvana of my mind. Not one negative thought went through my mind the first time I used MDMA. Of course, I ended up taking it repeatedly, and having more and more amazing experiences with nothing but happiness. It got to the point where I was doing it ever other weekend, which is very common with a lot of people.

Eventually, such 'ecstasy' based soley on a drug could not last. It would get to the point where that was the solution to all problems, anything negative going on in my life would be solved temporarily with MDMA. Finally, so much pressure would be put on the drug that it started losing it's magic. It would be to the point where I could be in a bad mood, but I thought in a half hour, I would be on the complete opposite level due to the drug. Eventually, that half hour would come, and I would think to myself, ok, I think I feel the effects of the drug but it's not as stong, this roll must not be as good. Gradually, this seemed to start happening with every roll I took. Finally in my life, I got to a point where everything I loved about ecstasy would appear in my life, naturally. I had a religious breakthorugh,I guess you could call it. I would find myself practically 'blowing up' to techno music, either drunk, and eventually, sober. I have such an appreciation for everything that amazed me while I was on ecstasy, and now, I enjoy these things soberly.

Tonight, I am going to my first rave ever possibly sober, or maybe drunk. It will be the first time I am going to actually enjoy everything about it, not to feel the effects of X. Ecstasy has opened my eyes to a beautiful world that I don't know how I would have found otherwise. The overall effects that ecstasy has had on me has been so positive, and I'm happy today due to it. The first time I used ecstasy, I thought to myself, this is whereI belong. Everything is beautiful, and everything in the world should be like this. Today, I see the beauty in things that I might not have ever seen. I don't love ecstasy today like I did before, but I love it and am eternally grateful for how it has impacted my life.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 43985
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 30, 2018	Views: 888
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MDMA (3) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)