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Extending Beyond Ourselves
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Sandy Koufax
Citation:   Sandy Koufax. "Extending Beyond Ourselves: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp42836)". Erowid.org. Aug 28, 2008. erowid.org/exp/42836

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb


Awhile ago, I had the chance to drop E with a couple of friends. I bought a little heart-shaped pill, and, absolutely spur of the moment, went into a public bathroom and swallowed it. My friend, 'Donnie,' followed suit. We hurried to 'Jake's' dormitory, where Donnie fed him a pill of his own.

We spent about 30 minutes walking around town. At some point, ascending the grassy hill back to our safe zone, there was a general concensus to the point that everything sprang out suddenly, pretty much simultaneously, with radiant beauty. I'm going to be using the word 'we' here a lot, because of what happened to us.

We sat in Jake's room and began to talk about what we were feeling. A 'general sense of awakening' was the best we could come up with. That is to say, 'Holy shit, it's like I'm waking up for the first time in my life.' I won't bore you, the reader, with the nuances of our conversation. You only have to know that it was a mind-bending experience. We didn't dance, we didn't party. We just talked about everything we could wrap our heads around. We started saying a lot of things at the same time, word for word, including complete sentences. We felt as if we had a physical flow of energy between us, and that we had all 'plugged in' to some very real, very powerful sense of well-being and understanding. After becoming very convinced of our higher understanding, we tried to analyze it for awhile.

Peace and freedom were the prevailing emotions. The bonding was amazing through it all. Many times we didn't have to talk. More than once, I was able to extend and receive concepts and thoughts just by looking someone else in the eye. On one occasion, a friend, 'Miles,' entered the room, Donnie and I shared a quick glance, and we both understood. We already knew Jake felt the same way, and neither of us had to look at him. We just left the room at the same time. Miles would later be described as 'stabbing the atmosphere.'

There was no hangover or harsh comedown at all. On the contrary, the feeling hasn't really left. It's not as intense as it was for those first 4 hours or so, but all of us agree on what we felt. We agree on the presence of some higher power, God or otherwise. Not one of us has any kind of religious upbringing, and we all expressed [simultaneous] frustration at the idea of limiting the entity to a word like 'God.' God appears to be pure, emphatic love and knowledge.

We haven't lost our ability to analyze personalities by virtue of a good stare into the eyes. The only thing close to a hallucination that any of us could describe was a very distinct sensation that, behind the blacks of the eyes, there wasn't eyeballs, but burning emotion. Almost a black fireball, or ring, of a person's energy. One step up from an aura, because it feels so real.

I know it sounds like we're just a bunch of burnt-out stoner kids who think we've stumbled into God's lap, and I know it sounds ridiculous that we could do it by eating a little party pill. But this is not a party pill. MDMA threw open my doors of perception in ways even stronger than acid or psilocybin. Donnie experienced many similar feelings, though he's never had acid or mushrooms.

I'm just very convinced that Donnie, Jake and I have found something very real. I did some reading on the pineal gland that explains so much of what we experienced, it couldn't be anything else. The relative frequencies of the vibrations of the pituitary and pineal glands created a magnetic force, or something or other, that allowed a very real link between us. I think we've got the ability to extend it beyond ourselves, as well. It sounds very crazy, and if I weren't living it right now I'd say it was a bunch of stupid lies invented by a dumb fuck kid who didn't do anything besides blow his little mind with a $15 roll. But I believe in it, and if reality is in the eye of the beholder, then who's to say my reality is any crazier than anyone else's? Or Donnie's? Or Jake's?

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 42836
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Aug 28, 2008Views: 6,639
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MDMA (3) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Relationships (44), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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