Citation: Morninggloryseed. "Watching My Ego Roll By: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp4239)". Erowid.org. Jun 6, 2001. erowid.org/exp/4239
Salvia divinorum is an incredible experience, quite beyond words. I know of no way to describe my salvia trips, but here is an attempt. In some ways, the SAME exact experience happens every time I use it. Kind of like a sequence of events in a story you keep reading. Salvia divinorum gives me the experience of watching my ego roll by, as if it were on a newspaper printing press. I will see all of the little aspects of my personality speed by me. In a sense, it shows me the ultimate truth. Everything in my life, and the universe in general, is shown to me with complete clarity.
The trouble is I usually do not realize I am tripping, and I tend to feel as though my head has been split open for the entire world to analyze. I assume that reality is not the result of salvinorin A in my blood. There are entities there, the 'Salvia' people, and they are able to see everything about me, including things I would rather them not know. This can be a very uncomfortable experience.
It is a true ego-confronting trip for me, but not always an insightful one. It does not seem to tell me anything I already do not know; it offers me nothing new to take home. I still however think the experience is valuable. If anything, it is also very interesting and bazaar. Like a carnival or circus. A wild, crazy, weird, insane experience.
I can recall one silly little thing on a Salvia trip that could be defined as an insight I got to take home with me. I had a disagreement with my girlfriend. When she went to sleep, I went into the bedroom (we slept in the living room.) and proceeded to smoke some Salvia divinorum. All of the sudden I had a vision of her and I was given a message that I needed to be damn thankful for having her. I knew that already, and then I realized how silly it was to be angry with her. I did really upset her. Then (laugh at the absurdity of this if you will) the spirit of Salvia divinorum proceeded to scorn me for becoming unjustifiably upset with her.
I came out of that trip with a deepened appreciation for her feelings about the issue we were fighting over, and I truly felt bad for becoming upset. Had I not tripped that night, I do not feel I would have seen the issue from my girlfriend's point of view. That was valuable wouldn't you say?
I must also say that Salvia divinorum in combination with a proper psychedelic goes beyond just being an entheogen-induced experience, but that is for a different trip report.
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