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No More, Ever Again
Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & P. viridis)
by jeff
Citation:   jeff. "No More, Ever Again: An Experience with Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & P. viridis) (exp42383)". Erowid.org. Sep 16, 2005. erowid.org/exp/42383

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1.5 g oral Syrian Rue (seeds)
  T+ 1:00 1.0 g oral Psychotria viridis (tea)
  T+ 1:00 1.0 g oral Syrian Rue (seeds)
  T+ 1:00 4.0 g oral Psychotria viridis (tea)
  T+ 24:00 3.6 g oral Syrian Rue (seeds)
  T+ 25:00 19 g oral Psychotria viridis (tea)

BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb


For years I have been an experienced observer of pretty high doses of shrooms, salvia d., and most importantly good acid (600+ mics). I thought I had been to some pretty unbelievable places that often proved to be strange enough, and real enough to stop me from investigating further. I would eventually resort to things like san pedro or Hawaiian baby woodrose because my mind was well prepared to fully absorb even the lowest doses of any drug, so the desirable dose was MUCH more easily attained.

I had some ayahuasca type herbs I wanted to try, and found the right time though I had no sitter. 2.4 grams of finely chewed syrian rue over a 4-5 hour period of time. (I knew that my tolerance was an issue recently, and I had never used maois). I sipped about one gram of well-prepared/boiled-steeped psy. viridis tea one hour after the first 1.5 grams Rue and tried to write a paper. Moa-inhibition abound, the paper was finished in an hour, and I was getting some interesting shroom like visuals, and the periphery of my vision was almost more active on this low dose than I have ever seen on any other substance. I was stunned, so that night a little more rue (adding up to 2.5 grams) was eaten along with approx. 4-5 grams of Viridis tea. What followed 45 min 1 hour later was very neat, and I could accurately say it was cognitively and visually more similar to shrooms than anything else, with the self perpetuating fractal archetypes intact, but with a certain congruence that coincides with an inevitable, perpetual, and systematic breakdown of the self in a mechanical way, like LSD. The visuals were also very much like the low-end of a comedown from a HIGH DOSE of LSD.

Even during this first experience I realized how though the visions felt like home as dmt naturally occurs in the human brain, they were deeper, thicker, finer, and brighter than anything I had seen before, but this experience was cut short due to a very small dose of DMT.

I had read that shamans sometimes take ayahuasca for days in a row. I though this method was a likely candidate for me because it is hard for me to work up to even a medium dosage. Also, I had just learned the power of harmala alkaloids to be like a switch, one for mao-inhibition, and one for more hypnotic/hallucinogenic effects.

The next day, knowing how low my doses of both rue and viridis were the day/night before, I took what I thought was reasonable for a good, robust, elongated trip--------- 3.6 grams of chewed syrian rue over 2.5 hours, and 18-20 grams of very well prepared psy. viridis tea ingested somewhere during the middle of my rue ingestion.

Well to make a really long and scary story short, nausea was non existent both days because of how I ingested the rue (chewed slowly), but........ I didn't know how the mao-inhibition would add up over the two days, I didn't understand the shamanic reference to the week-long sessions, I didn't understand the serious quality of each herb I had used, nor did I experience the full effect of even the low dose of DMT that I had casually sipped the night before with such noticable effects... So I went on a trip that I was by no means ready for. I knew about 40 min after the psy. viridis ingestion, I had made a bigger mistake than ever before. As I have previously stated, though I used to take high doses, I am now very fragile even on doses of .8-2 grams of shrooms, or 6-10 HBWR's. I went on a 6 hour walk scared out of my mind. It was in certain ways far more intense than 5 grams of shrooms and lasted far longer. I was taught how to get through it by the same thought processes that scared me so. Some people might think it is nutty, but I experienced the unmoved mover that day, like it was just a musical-mathematician behind a veil, conducting the orchestral performance of the dying/oxygen-deprived mind with rubber-bands tied to every extension of its body.

I understood new languages that are beyond comprehension, but become fluid and articulate in these states. Very serious conversations take place with what seem to be entities, but not like I've read before, and were far more real, scary and hard to explain or speak for after the fact (a sort of self-conscious neurology). I heard hierarchies of metallic sound, and saw flowering cathedrals of endless depth and assimilation to the following movements of my uncontrived path visual/audio/cognitive. Everything I experienced and learned was harder to use and retain than on almost any other drug. It is this speed (extreme time dilation) that lends way to some of the more miraculouse organizational skills of the mind, such as its ability to recall only appropriate information, sometimes in an ultra intelligent, and pre-organized way. The conclusions one can come to can be harmful in their immaculate truth, as they are not your thoughts any longer. The cognitive loops I found that were most obvious were the ones that were psychosomatically tied to my heart rate among many many other things, leading me into very scary terrians of the selfless mind. Selfless, or egoless is an understatement. It can go so deep that one will meet various gatekeepers along the way, the keepers of truth, and or finite expressions of nature.

Ater the 34 hour experience, I will never see the same way again as I have tiny complex visuals all over my field of vision. I had a panic attack 4 weeks after the experience because I realized that I was not coming back. Synchronicity was way too prevalent in my ayahuasca experience (internal and more frighteningly external), making me question my sanity. I would ask myself questions like, why does it seem like I can both make things happen, and know them before they occur (only if I do it a certain way as it correlates to what 'place' I'm thinking from). The ESP-like thoughts are happening less and less, but I swear to god, my mind has seemed to look for these opportunities to stun me hundreds of times since, on such uncontrived cognitive paths that there has only been certainty of it when it is happening and the synchronicity or predilections never faulter. Or in other words, I can not prove myself wrong by missing the mark, because 'it' does not make mistakes.

Days after the experience, I was enlightened after almost losing my life and cautiously re-thinking what I had learned. Then I got pissed off at what I had done to myself. Language and perception of space time then crept back, but not enough to avoid this panic attack I spoke of. I thought I lost myself, as this better self tore into the old for weeks, and it was painful. I cried alot, to one friend in particular. Tried to confirm that what I had done had been done before by a like mind, but with no avail, as hard as he tried to calm me, it was clear that I had gone way off the deep end when we would try to establish how hard I was tripping two weeks after in comparison to the after effect of 5+ grams of mushrooms. The experience of ANY dose of shrooms is like a joke compared to ayahuasca. Ayahuasca takes you prisoner, will not allow you to deny its message without reparation later down the road, and because one experiences less physical disturbance per hallucinatory unit than with shrooms, it is easy to see how this brew can turn into a nightmare.

Now, 5 weeks later, I am very much back to normal with the exception of pretty intense day to day visuals. I stuck it out for the ever so scary experience and the even harder 4-week-long come down. Most importantly, Don't trust a thing I or anyone else says about dosage. Try YOUR stuff first and learn about the physical shock maois cause so you can avoid nausea or other problems ranging from annoying/frightening heart-rate, to other more indescribable weirdnesses such as mild shock. Lastly, my brew is what I make it. A high dose of rue 3.5-6 grams could lead to a really long lasting freak out session pretty much regardless of how much dmt is used. Maoi build up in my system was responsible for the depth of my second experience described, and this probably a very efficient way to achieve what is traditionally intended by consuming this substance, an end to my search for: intensity, long lasting effects, my self, and a true understanding of god before death.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 42383
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 16, 2005Views: 28,270
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Psychotria viridis (170), Syrian Rue (45) : Alone (16), Multi-Day Experience (13), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5)

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