Is It Worth It? Here Is My Belief.....
Citation: adderall. "Is It Worth It? Here Is My Belief.....: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp41856)". Erowid.org. Dec 9, 2019. erowid.org/exp/41856
I was introduced to Adderall the typical way, through friends, friends of friends,etc. Now, this 'ADD' thing is something I know I have. I have been sparatic and unfocused all my life, but just never got prescribed. During my high school years my parents didn't want to have to pay money for a medication that I might have become attatched to (hah). Moving on, I tried Adderall for the first time from a friend who was prescribed. Like a fool I took it around 3 in the afternoon one Sunday. This was about two months ago, and I remember within the first two hours feeling a solid body rush. Suddenly everything was finally clear. I finally could establish 'this schedule' that I had always tried to create for myself. Not only could I read my history book diligintly, but I could smoke cigarrettes and chill out as well. The Adderall lasted a LONG TIME. I don't not sleep (esp. if I take it later in the day) and the coming down for me was overwhelming. All my emotions were intensified, and the numbness I felt came crashing down. However, I kept to studying to avoid my overthinking.
Now, this was my first time and it was just a trial, so I didn't expect to get it again for a while. So, for the next weeks I had forgotten about it. Skip to a month and a half later, and I found out a friend had a presciption to it. I bought 8 pills from her, and headed off to college. I knew Adderall was a very powerful drug so I decided to keep things leveled by taking one every three days. Once again, after taking one (these were 10mg) I became the supreme human being. I could study, plan, and talk to people effectively. Everything was in line, and suddenly I wasn't feeling so paranoid about the future. Adderall is a stimulant that also gives me a mood lift and numbs my feelings (these feelings are the most intense the first few hours of taking a dose). This was great for me because I could forget my depression from leaving my boyfriend. But, the coming down can be hard. Sometimes I would feel fear and extreme anger. What I did was just study, and focus on what was important. I am a small female, so 10mg is good for me. The first few hours are intense, and later I can still study and be focused.
Now, I have found out that I won't be getting Adderall for another two weeks or so. So before, I had been taking the Adderall every two days ( I actually got a couple more pills from a friend). Today I just feel numb and somewhat overwhelmed. I can study, but I am not inspired. Adderall is so great because I can function normally while simultaneosly feeling motivated and great. Now, the downfall is carrying over me. I feel bored and irratable with people. I can't imagine never doing it again. I wonder how people can successfully withdraw after doing Adderall for a couple of years, etc. I fear if I get a prescripition I will forget who I really am. Why be 'normal,' when I can be the ideal? BUT, I feel I should learn from the adderall, and TRY to function normally. I don't know if I can recommend adderall. To ADD users perhaps? But I am ADD. With this pill I can be the supreme for a few months, but what happens afterwards? I will wake up to reality and your life might come crashing down like a ton of bricks. I used Adderall for three weeks and now I am struggling.
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