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Memories of Birth
Nitrous Oxide & Cannabis
by e!s
Citation:   e!s. "Memories of Birth: An Experience with Nitrous Oxide & Cannabis (exp41425)". Erowid.org. Mar 11, 2010. erowid.org/exp/41425

 
DOSE:
  smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  1 cart. inhaled Nitrous Oxide (gas)

BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb


Just to set the context, I was with a group of friends smoking high-quality cannabis, of which I'd taken maybe 4-5 solid hits. Someone brought a box of nitrous oxide, which I'd tried once before and discounted as 'like being at the dentist.'

This time it was very different, and entirely unbelievable. I was pretty stoned and listening to the drum n bass we had playing. I took a lungful of nitrous and my whole reality suddenly disappeared, replaced foremost by what sounded like a fire alarm amplified ten times over. It was an incredible ringing bell-type cacophony, of course generated by the beat of the music, which had become much higher in pitch, subjectively.

My nervous system felt short-circuited, and every cell screamed in unison with the constant RING RING RING RING. By this point, all that I knew existed was a plane covered with checkers composed of triangles (square = 2 triangles) colored white, black, and green, tinged with red (from my closed eyelids), the ringing panic alarm, and this feeling I identified as 'pain,' or 'panic' transmitted from every cell in my body. That was the whole world for a moment. No body, no concepts, no understanding. Just the wide-eyed horror of the panic alarm and the checkers.

Suddenly, a very simple thought entered my mind: I'm being born. I suspect the component that triggered my 'memory' was the feeling of horror, or panic that I had, along with the emptiness of mind. I imagine that's what most kids feel like when they're thrown from selfless suspension (like a sensory deprivation chamber) in the womb, and into the cold, bright world, lacking any understanding of what is going on, and being entirely terrified.

Then I realized, I'm in this, not my infant self. So I wondered, how do I get out? Well, where was I? Oh, a party with friends. So I should be able to come back. Just by performing the act of opening my eyes, and leaning forward. So I did. And I saw a buddy nagging me for the balloon.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 41425
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 11, 2010Views: 11,505
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Nitrous Oxide (40) : General (1), Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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