Citation: Vash. "Addiction Sucks: An Experience with Oxycodone (exp41171)". Erowid.org. Oct 26, 2006. erowid.org/exp/41171
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
It's been a long hard road that I can't seem to find the end of. I had a pretty serious heroin problem for a little over a year that resulted in an overdose, sending me to the ICU for a few days, but I'm not going to write about that. I'm going to share my current dealings with Roxicodone & Oxycontin. Over years of abuse I have built up a serious tolerance for opiates. I'm going to write this over a few days and quite a few doses.
I have been prescribed various medications for chronic migraine headaches I suffer from - including injections administered at the local ER. Sometimes the pain was so unbearable I would not be able to function for days at a time. After trying just about everything in the book, getting aggravated with moronic doctors that had no clue as to what caused the migraines in the first place, and tired of failed 'solutions' to get rid of the pain - my girlfriend at the time suggested that I try heroin for relief. I think it should go without saying that dope worked just fine at taking away the pain. The amount of times the migraines and times that I needed relief was the problem. That's where my love/hate relationship began with opiates - I became an addict rather quickly. I'm almost 30 now, my heroin use was in my early 20s. I have been using Oxy & Roxy daily for about a year now.
My first dose would be first thing in the morning when I would awake. I might not have had a good night's rest, my back might have been hurting at the time, or I just felt like getting stoned - it was always nice to wake up to a buzz first thing in the morning. I'm a drug addict, always have and always will be. That is something that never changes no matter what I do.
Every morning for about a month I would break a 30mg Roxi in half and take both by mouth, then go about my morning. Roxicodone is not time released like Oxycontin are so I would start feeling the effects in about 15 minutes normally (on an empty stomach), breaking the pill in half speeds up the absorption rate. Four or five hours after my morning dose I would take another 30mg Roxi, following that 'every few hours' pattern through out the day. On a normal (full) day I would consume 120 to 150mg. Starting at about the second month I started sniffing the Roxi rather then eating them as I was building up a tolerance. The euphoric feeling is much faster, I would start feeling the effects as fast as a minute or two. The smell from sniffing was rather pleasant and did not hurt (burning like other pills or meth does). This became my preferred method of use.
It feels like my senses are heightened while high, almost as if I have given my brain a serious boost. I could do my work faster with less mistakes, I came up with new ideas that I never thought of while sober. The high from sniffing the Roxi give me energy, they don't make me all dopey like I have seen happen to some people. I'm already a rather smart person - I'm writing this in AbiWord in SuSE - but the Roxi seems to give me more creativity. I loved the body high and the fact that it seemed to have these 'other' side effects. I keep a journal of feelings and thoughts when I am high, reading it sober helps me keep that creativity when I am not zooted out on pills.
Once I started sniffing the pills I started with 60mg in the morning. I had been using daily for some time so my tolerance to the pills had been building, I found myself taking 2 pills per dose. Now I would be up to around 240mg per day, some days as high as 270mg or 300mg. At this point I was seriously addicted, there was no turning back. While I knew I was addicted I really didn't care when I was high. I think that anything could happen while I was high and it would not bother me one bit. I have had small bouts of depression through out my life but all that ended with my opiate use/abuse. Roxicodone is the best anti-depressant I have ever used ;-)
At about the fourth month I decided to switch to Oxycontin 80mg. The Oxy pill has a green outer shell, has OC on one side, and 80 on the other. They are coated for time release, which can be easily removed. I use a razor blade to gently scrape it off. The smell from sniffing the Oxy is almost plastic-like, very chemical smelling. There was also some discomfort while sniffing. The buzz from the Oxy is a bit different from the Roxi - the Roxi buzz seems to have more 'energy' if there is such a thing and it is defiantly more pleasant on the nose. After a week of daily use of the Oxy 80mg I noticed that my nose would hurt if I touched the side I used to sniff with. Since the Oxy is much more coarse when crushing, the daily use has damaged my nose some what. I had a small cut or sore developing. I switched back to oral ingestion for a week and the cut healed.
After switching to the Oxy for a week or so I noticed that coming down off Roxi is much much harder then Oxy are, the withdraw effects are also much greater. Withdraw from these pills is a motherfucker, seriously. At first I get the mental effect - when can I get high again, what am I going to do if I don't, how am I going to get through it – my mind runs frantic. Then comes the physical effects.
I first tell that I'm going to start feeling like shit when my nose starts running, that's my first sign that withdraw is starting to kick in. That's when I start really getting nervous, I know it's not going to be long before I'm in serious pain. From there I'll get sweats, feel hot/cold, stomach aches, and diarrhea. The first five days of this are a living hell and only get worse. Trying to get any sleep is a task and a half - muscle cramps, joint pains, body aches - my entire body will scream out for more drugs. This is truly the worst feeling I have ever gone through in my entire life. The tossing and turning in bed, mind racing, all I can think about it getting more drugs or making myself feel better. It is a serious task to make it through the entire withdraw without using more, I have not been able to do it alone so far. I have found that using Fentanyl works wonders. I use the 100 µg/h Duragesic patch, while it will not get me high during withdraw it sure helps me from losing my head (and feeling like pure shit).
I have found a nice trick for getting by in times where I have to wait on my script at the first of the month. Lorcet have 10mg Hydrocodone and 650mg acetaminophen per pill so if I try to get high on them we run in to the APAP problem - will either cause serious stomach discomfort, make me sick, or in WCS kill me. That's exactly what I am trying to avoid by taking the pills in the first place - to keep from getting sick from withdraw. If I have 30 or 40 pills this trick will work wonders: The cold filtering process.
I took a small break while writing this. It has been 6 months since I originally wrote the above section. My use has progressed to the point where I am taking up to 640mg Oxi and 210mg Roxi on a heavy use day (12 hours) - I am out of control. I have been looking in to getting help but I just can't afford it. I have been slowing down but I'm still using way too much, I wish I never started using this shit...it has ruined my life.
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