Citation: Particle16. "Soulmate Symbol: An Experience with Ketamine, MDMA (Ecstasy), Mushrooms, Ephedra & Nitrous Oxide (exp41043)". Erowid.org. May 21, 2007. erowid.org/exp/41043
Ephedrea (3 teaspoons)
Magic Mushrooms (3 grams)
Ecstasy/MDMA (1 tablet, 8/10 strength)
NOS (8 ISI chargers)
Ketamine (250mg snorted)
New Years eve was coming on, and once again I was quite tired, exhausted and a headache was buzzing through me. I had Ephedrea in a similar way to the one stated above, but drank it still quite warm and proceeded to have a short nap. This lasted for about half an hour and I felt fresher than I had throughout the whole day.
Three hours later we arrived at our friends place, and all proceeded to eat our small piles of dried magic mushrooms, a local coppertop species. Having issues eating the dry and mouldy tasting mushrooms on their own, we experimented with bits of pop-corn and even mustard to make them come down easier. Not much was really eaten, and we had not eaten for around 6 hours prior. After about half an hour the mushrooms hit, with a light discomfort and some indigestion. A light altered state was felt (potentially our systems still had a high build up from the previous experience) with almost no closed eye visuals. Open eye visuals were also not present, but in the night several trees had an added majesty and complexity added to them. Little euphoria was felt and in general the experience felt more like a weak MDMA hit than the previous experiences with the same mushrooms.
1.5 hours after the mushrooms were taken, 1 ecstasy tablet was taken which came on in about half an hour, just in time for new years. A great euphoria was felt, as new years hit and the fireworks were exploding and people could be heard in the houses nearby, a great feeling of togetherness was felt. Hugging friends was great, and we even indulged in a group hug (something un-imaginable usually). Intimate moments and discussions with the girlfriend were also great, we were at a very high level of happiness and talked endlessly for a good hour. Our friends joined us on the large bed and we all sat together and talked, there was definatelly a vibe of fun and friendliness amongst us. No real comedown was noted off either the mushrooms or the MDMA, as we still continued to have fun and talk together, but as it was getting late in the night, the party started seperating a bit, and a few short casual bulbs of NOS were taken. Now around 5am we retired to the bedroom, and split a half gram of ketamine crystals.
These were crushed into a fine powder and 4 lines were produced, which were inhaled into each nostril. Unlike previous times, no nose burn was noted and very little residue entered the back of the throat. I had enough time to walk the fifteen steps from the kitchen to the bedroom, and lie down before the ketamine hit. The room changed hue very quickly and its size and dimensions quickly changed. Within a little while I was on the way to the k-hole, and it began with a strong coming home and destruction of my own identity. I could feel my whole being being torn apart into individual molecules of light, and my spirit moving inside these. The spirit twisted back and forth momentarily as I was rising far outside the room.
It felt like a rollercoaster going backwards and pulling me into space, and I saw the whole night sky and myself rising over the hills. I continued rising beyond the earth and remember looking down and seeing my parents house in the night, soon I was transported beyond planets, then galaxies, then the mind momentarily saw what I believe to have been God. It didn't see as much, as just be overwhelmed by a presence. An incredibly powerful, radiant swirling force that radiated goodness and warmth. Having come from a strong religious upbringing, I assumed it would be looking down at me unfavourably, but for some reason the feeling that remained was, 'this is the time you were meant to experience this'.
When I next found myself I was in a purplish dark chamber, and my spirit twisted again, I went from absolute knowledge to 'retardation' (where everything goes very slow and unfolds like a timeless fractal), a strange feeling that I have had on ketamine before, which I assume is the apex of the experience as you rebound back into reality. My whole being was being spliced back together in this chamber and I was being put back together in small layers as bits of my own identity returned. The process seemed almost over and I started moving through the chamber, which more and more felt like an interdimensional space station. There were a variety of sections, and I felt the presence of my friends (who were in the physical house) nearby. I saw them all as spirits and came upon the realisation that what I was witnessing was the spiritual dimension of our existence.
Continuing upon this journey, I found a soul marked with a symbol. I have seen this symbol (that I call the soulmate symbol) on my first ketamine trip, and its an impossibly abstract vision to describe. Essentially its a merging of sex, love, combination, eternity, a million different positive feelings merged into one. I know that I have seen this symbol as a child, and somehow associated it to a variety of feelings. To try and describe it, one needs to think of old indian kama sutra paintings, where the man and woman are combined together, but neither really look like man or woman, only in an abstract sense, almost cartoonish but different.
On my first ketamine journey I travelled beyond my body to the place where my partner lives, and once again on this journey I found her again. It was almost like this space station had a line or endless row of souls, and having seen the symbol my own spirit attached to hers. We moved further through the ship to a larger bluer chamber where she finally recognised who it was that had found her. We were lying in bed at the time, and it could be that we were both coming out of our trip and conversing with each other, though I have felt a telepathic link to people nearby on ketamine.
We slowly returned back to the room and I saw her materialise before me, and I lay quite drained and filled with thoughts for a while. The dose or purity or application of the ketamine must have been considerably more powerful this time, as I felt it last a lot longer, and have a stronger buzzing reverbing effect on my body as I went to see my friend who had spent most of his trip in the backyard. We talked briefly about current world events, and I slept deeply upon my return to the bedroom.
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