Citation: Jimmy Jive. "Deeply Relaxing and Refreshing: An Experience with Methamphetamine & Meditation (exp40522)". Erowid.org. Jul 26, 2005. erowid.org/exp/40522
I am a frequent methamphetamine user. I don’t use every day, but I use it anywhere from 3 to 5 days a week. I feel that there is good documentation on the subjective effects. This report deals with how I manage to cope with my least favorite effects: the drowsiness and mental sluggishness caused by frequent use.
I should also include a description of the rarely mentioned effect of greatly improved self awareness. When I am high, I notice my thought processes, how I’m moving, my mood, and even (to some extent) physical processes like where my blood is flowing.
I have found a form of meditation that is deeply relaxing and refreshing, especially when I am wired out of my mind. I start by removing the blankets (other than the cover sheet) and pillow from my bed, then take off my clothes, but leave on my boxers if someone else is home. I lay on my back, finding a position in which I will not have to move, making sure my hands and feet aren’t dangling off the edge, and close my eyes.
It is important to relax the jaw and move the tongue as little as possible, and the compulsion to swallow more than necessary can ruin a good meditation on upper. I have found that after I swallow, there is a greater urge to swallow, and it grows every time, but if I concentrate on not swallowing, it goes away.
After I close my eyes, I try to clear my head of all thoughts and slowly repeat ‘relax’ in my head. My mind relaxes followed by my muscles, but oddly enough my heart speeds up at first, although it relaxes later. I feel my skin, hands, and feet warm up, probably because of vasodilatation caused by relaxation of the sympathetic nervous system (sometimes I start feeling itches, if I ignore them, they eventually go away, if I move my arm to scratch them, I lose some of the relaxation). I feel more blood flow to my stomach, probably speeding digestion (one of the effects of stimulants is that digestion slows to a crawl). I feel a not unpleasant tingling in my balls and the shrinkage caused by the upper I feel being reversed. I feel increased genital sensation, sometimes even getting an erection. The mental relaxation seems to start at a localized point and spread throughout my head. Sometimes I forget to keep thinking ‘relax’ and my mind wanders, but as soon as I remember to clear my head, I start sinking. I sometimes get the sensation of floating, and often see hypnogogic images behind my eyelids.
When I feel as though I have meditated for a sufficient amount of time, I first open my eyes slowly, then move my arms and legs around a little before I get up, because the muscles are deeply relaxed and I might stumble if I get up too quickly. I get cold quickly, and the deep relaxation is slowly replaced by a mild euphoria, an increased sense of alertness, and greater mental coherence.
The first few times I did this, it was difficult and had little effect, but practice really does help, and this meditation can be extremely useful and powerful, to the point that I can now use it sometimes to get actual sleep at night.
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