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Citation:   Coujoe. "Hope: An Experience with Heroin (exp40482)". May 20, 2008.

  repeated   Heroin
I remember being bored over the summer in high school so I began smoking pot when I was around 14, no harm or intent to destroy my life. It took about five months before I discovered DXM and soon began mixing the two. This seemed to be a lot of fun, always reading experiences on Erowid and actually believing there was a spiritual nature to getting fucked up.

At 15 I was offered Vicodin by a friend who had broke a wrist. Again, no harm or intent to become dependent. There have been many reports comparing opiates to warm feelings of summer rain and such, this is very true. It was wonderful; I didnít have to deal with anything anymore. If I was bored, agitated, or pained all I had to do was take some Vicodin and smoke pot. Like magic 30 mins later the day would just be magic. Everything was better. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

It didnít take long to realize it was cheaper to snort Oxycontin. After all, when youíre addicted most anything seems rational. One thing I noticed during this period, my friends had the ability to stop using whenever they wanted or control how much they took in. I had no control whatsoever. Weeks later I was cooking shots for myself, because after all, heroin is FAR CHEAPER than Oxy is. I was down to 105 lbs at age 16 being 5í9ĒÖ this is not something normal people do.

I got sent away for 10 months and experienced sheer hell for the first 2 months. I donít remember much of anything from the age of 16-18. Basically, just nodding in consciousness and feeling complete and utter terror or loneliness. I found out that I was a rare breed of a person. A disease called drug addiction. Meaning one out of every ten users who cannot for whatever reason stop using drugs.

I had to swallow my pride and seek help. An anonymous program worked best for me. I could not beat drug addiction by myself. I would have died painfully trying, guaranteed. I have been homeless, locked up, and addicted to drugs to the point of being pronounced schizophrenic. I now live in a college dorm, have friends, and live a completely normal life. I even go to parties and hang out occasionally at bars. However I canít drink or use drugs. I have seen and done things most people will never see or experience. I have seen first hand friends die or commit suicide from addiction. But with hope, I found the light at the end of the tunnel.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 40482
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 20, 2008Views: 10,637
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Heroin (27) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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