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Really Evil...
by Jeremy
Citation:   Jeremy. "Really Evil...: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp3875)". Erowid.org. Dec 26, 2001. erowid.org/exp/3875

3 tablets oral MDMA


This an experience I enjoy talking about not because it was a beneficial and pleasant one, but I now realize how great it feels to be comfortable and sitting in front of my computer instead of in a situation that I never, ever want to be in again.

I never indulge in less than one hit of *e* at a time so I told my buddy to get me three hits of these tablets called 'pure loves'.

When we arrived @ the event around midnight, I already had butterflies in my stomach from the anticipation of partying once again. There was no time to waste so my buddy and I both dropped a tab and began to meander around the fairgrounds to absorb the festivities. We decided to find the room that Oakie and BT were spinning so we could get a good spot on the dance floor. Once we found the trance room, BT was just beginning his set. This is when I noticed the usual numbing and weak-feelings associated with the first wave of the drug, but I also noticed something more powerful on this occasion. It wasn't the usual, 'I'm ready to dance feeling,' but overall I was pretty fucked up, overwhelmed, and really FEELING the music. I was so pumped up for the night that I took the other two tablets. When Oakenfold came on, I only recall bits and pieces of the set b/c I was in another world. The songs were extremely intense and satisfying. I usually dance the night away, but on this occasion I just stood there dunbfounded, with my hands over my head occasionally glancing at my buddy to see how he was doing. I could definitely tell the feeling was mutual. I was very content, but not extremely euphoric. I was more clueless and brain-dead than anything. Yes, it was kind of frightening to be that 'zombie-like,' not knowing how to take a picture with a camera or put cigarettes back into a carton. Pretty pathetic, huh? Thats what I thought...er believed at the time. My vision was so skewed that I couldn't tell what was dancing next to me...a cute girl or a troll. I had to keep telling myself that it was a cute girl. I enjoy being fucked up, but it felt as if my mind was completely depleted of neurons.

Anyway, the worst was yet to come. I was standing there with my buddy admist a crowd of euphoric ravers when all of a sudden, the lights came on and the music stopped. I can't describe the feeling I had at the time when I looked around at a bunch of clueless individuals being harrased by an onslaught of cops. I was sitting down and smoking a cigarette when a cop scared the hell out of my buddy and I into leaving the venue. We had no idea what to do nor where to go...so we just followed the crowd. I was still tripping pretty hard when we met a really cool couple and decided to follow them since they knew what was going on. It didn't occur to me that something was different about this *e* until I tried to converse with the others. It was a struggle to get all the words out of my mouth for a sentence. I wasn't sure if anyone else coulld tell, but it really struck me when the couple said they had taken the 'pure loves' as well. They were really knowledgable ravers and extremely nice people, but it scared the hell out of me when I saw their reaction to my response of how many hits we had taken. They had only taken a half tab each and appeared to be rolling pretty hard.

Either way, my buddy and I had nothing to do and were too fucked up to drive since the cops were closing the event...at 4 in the morning! Luckily we had our 2 friends to guide us to another after party. Of course, as luck would have it, there was no after party...but instead, someone played a cruel trick and posted a bunk one on a flier...which happened to be on a make-belief street. I remember spending three hours triping hard (*e* has never lasted this long at this level of power) and following a crowd of zombie-looking ravers to a party that never existed. It was pure hell...having the effects of the *e* wear off...only to see the real evil in the town and in all its residents and ravers. It was straight out of Jacob's Ladder, the movie.

My buddy and I were really exhausted at this point, but restless and scared at the whole situation we were in...helpless in a foreign land with really frightening looking people. 'Pure Loves' baby!
It was about seven in the morning and already 90 degrees and we had parted ways with our friends after they were kind enough to drop us off at our car. (We would have never found it on our own.) My buddy was still rolling hard, but I was in the 'death' phase...unable to sleep, frightened, and seeing still objects breathing. I just wanted to get the hell out of dodge!!!

We tried to sleep in the car, but that was impossible. I made a decision to drive home, which was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I was definitely not all there psychologically, but nevertheless... The drive was incredibly tough because my vision was so altered and my mind a bowl of jello. It was a two and a half hour drive that seemed an eternity. To top it off, most of the road was single laned...next to a cliff. Oh god...and to top it off, halfway home, I saw a bunch of people waving cars to continue on past them. I slowed down to avoid hitting them and saw, in slow motion, a woman crushed in a car that had toppled over. Horrible...and image I will never forget.

Home...finally got there and went straight to the shower. It didn't do me any good. I tried to lay in bed, but there was no way I was going to sleep. All I could think about were the horrible images I saw all night and day...restless as hell. I remembered that I promised to call my girlfriend to tell her I was home safely, but when I called I got her mom instead. Out of nowhere, she starts yelling (mind you..I'm still fucked up in the head from the trip) at me about finding out from my girfriend that I do GHB and such...that she's going to call the cops and tell my mother if I ever speak to her daughter again. One can imagine the thoughts that went through my mind for the rest of the day, night, and the next day without any sleep. I wanted to cry, but wouldn't let myself...I was just glad to be alive and home.

The thoughts that went through my head starting on the comedown from the 'pure loves' are indescribable to this day. It falls somewhere between evil and deathlike. I'm sure it was the entire situation that intensified the comedown, but boy...it was tough either way. The acid comedown kicked in right where the e-ish effects left off. Not a good sequence of timing if you ask me.

Writing this article surely brought back the hidden evil memories I experienced, but I am so glad and relieved that I feel safe and comfortable now..like right now I mean. I have taken ecstacy about 4 times since then and now appreciate the euphoria associated with the drug...but I still hate the comedown.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 3875
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 26, 2001Views: 12,760
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MDMA (3) : Rave / Dance Event (18), General (1)

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