Citation: the explorer. "Terror & Recovery: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp3873)". Erowid.org. Dec 26, 2001. erowid.org/exp/3873
[erowid note: report describes powerfully unpleasant heart-racing effects when taking cannabis on top of LSD and an interesting encounter with parents, though it is difficult to read because of spelling, punctuation, etc. Most of the major readability problems have been fixed, but many have been left in to give a flavor of the author.]
Before I begin my story I would like to inform you that off and on when I smoked marijuana I would notice that my heart rate increased. Whenever this happened it would cause a horrible amount of fear. The story begins with me hooking up twenty doses of LSD for a freind of mine. As my payment several of my friends and I were given free doses.
The next tuesday nobody was home, the perfect oppertunity to drop my unussualy large dose.My previous drug history included weed (of course), speed (sucks), acid (lots of it), ketamine (interesting), Datura (holy shit!), mushrooms (lovely), and a small amount of morning glory(promising). Before I droped I took a curious glance at the bottle that had contained the LSD. There looked to be another dose that had settled at the bottom .I droped it onto the dose that I had on the sugar cube.The dose that came out was supriseingly large. I dropped the whole drippy mess on my tongue and let it dissolve.I still don't know why I did this but I decided to cut the little container open and lick the insides.
I then smoked a bowl of mid grade pot.It only took about twenty minutes for the LSD to invade my mind.It began with the strange and uncomfortable feelings in my back and stomach.I began to feel kind of silly and commicly poisoned. The walls began to breath and come alive(the insides of houses always seem to come alive and have personality traits for some reason).I talked on the phone with a fraind for a while, I'm not sure if I made any sense at all to him.Intense geometric patterns of color began to take over my feild of vision.By the peak I began running all around my block under the cover of night.I was a crusader on a quest to understand human civilization from the perspective of a higher being. The lights in the distant void of darkness were like something from an oil painting. Much like Stay Night painted by Vincent Vangoh.I decided to go back home when I realised that I didn't know what time it was.When I was at home my ex-girlfraind decided to call me.I could read her normally confuseing personality like a book,I felt pitty for her because her true pathetic qualitys were suddenly revealed to me.
I began to feel that the peak was subsideing, I didn't want to let it go.I decided to smoke another bowl of the same weed.That was a big mistake.When I got off the phone with her I flased back to the raceing heart condition that I often had smoking weed.I had named it 'the demon'.Of course imiediatly after I thought about the demon, it struck.Not only did it strike but it struck with a horrible vengence.It pounded against my ribcage like a lunatic in a box.It didn't stop,and it filled me with indescribeable terror.Each wave of panic only increased the demons strength and power.All of a sudden I realised that I was nowhere near sober,sober was like a distant star in space.At that moment I would of given anything to come down, even my soul.My left arm became painfully numb(strange huh,painfully numb,doesn't really make sense but that's what happened).This was mortal fear that I have never even begun to understand.To this day I still feel like I aged twenty or thirty years(no joke it permanetly changed my personality,I feel ancient and wise, as well as terrified,I'm still a little paranoid and writeing this is makeing me relive the whole experiance again).
I began screaming, because it was a beast that I couldn't run from.I saw my mothers car begin to pull up in the driveway.I hurried to my room and turned out the light.I nervously began paceing back and fourth inside my room.I couldn't sit down or even stay still.I accidently slamed my foot against something and broke off one of my toe nails.I watched it bleed for a second and didn't give a shit.I wasn't worried about my toe, I was worried about the time bomb in my chest.I would get tunnel vision and feel as though I would pass out.
At one point I desparetly tried drinking whisky to bring my heart rate down, it only made things alot worse. I guess that when I had slammed my foot and broke my toenail I had made a fairly large noise.Becuase not more than a minute afterward my mother opened my door to see what was up.My heart jumped in my chest as I feebaly began to conjure up an excuse for why I was asleep on a school night. I ended up telling her this: 'mom I screwed up. I'm on acid.I am going to die.' And with every inch of my mind I did beleive that I would die of cardiac arrest. My mom brought me into the liveing room and sat me down on the couch. She took my pulse and said that it was fast but far from fatal. I saw tears drip down from her eyes, I asked her not to cry.She said that she wasn't crying at all. At first I beleived that she knew that I was going to die, and that she was lieing to me so that I wouldn't be afraid in my last moments.
I thought that she was crying because she knew the horrible truth and wanted to keep it a secret from me.I was totally convinced that I was going to die and their was no way to get it out of my head. I didn't accept death, I feared it intensely. I looked into her eyes again and saw that their were no tears. She began to talk me down and I refused to beleive any of it; I was a dead man and that was final. She went into the back and got me a tranquilizer called adaban [erowid note: Ativan is the brand name for lorazepam, a valium-like tranquilizer.]. She broke it in two and gave me half. She continued to talk and tried to get me to lay still. I told her that it was impossible to stay still, that it was like their was a rod of energy inside my body and that I couldn't keep it still.
She gave me the other half and it wasn't long befor the panic began to fade and my heart rate began to slow down. My mom got drunk as hell and she decided to stay up with me. We talked for hours, and I was telling her about the visuals and the whole experiance. She told me that an elevated heart rate was normal on acid, and that the weed probobly made me paranoid as well as pushing me over the top. She told me that it was because I had become aware of my heart that the whole thing began. From four in the afternoon untill three in the morning the acid didn't wear off.At almost four in the morning I was still tripping pretty hard. But the adaban almost entirely killed the simulation so I fell asleep still seeing colors.
The next morning I could still see colors except they were weak and faded. I didn't go to school and my mom and I talked the whole next day about the experiance. During my early adolecence I had loathed my parents, now I beleive that they are some of the greatest people I had ever met. My father smoked me out with a bowl the next day and told me stories of LSD trips he had during the sixties. Since then I have conquered the demon in weed, I have done it with the help of this website.
I beleive that this website promotes free speech and the information has been beyond helpfull.It has helped me destroy my fear and paranoia. I think I might be able to do acid again without problems.
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