Citation: Isabelle. "My Fling with a Snow Angel: An Experience with Cocaine (exp38625)". Erowid.org. May 9, 2007. erowid.org/exp/38625
The first time I did coke I was 19, and loved it, but did not do it again for a few more years. This story is about my experiences in my early twenties. I asked an aquaintance of mine for the name of a connection source. The first night this ' connection' came over, the two of us shared what I later learned was a very pure eight-ball. He had to cut it with a switchblade, since it was so chunky and rock-like, not to mention gleaming like an opal. Physically, my body, and especially my face, felt numb. Mentally, when I am on high quality coke, it is the most amazing feeling in the world: I am giddy, confident, energetic, focused, powerful, and horny.
This guy also put lots of coke on his fingers, and then rubbed it on my gums and tongue. While at first this tasted bitter, I loved the way it made my mouth feel completely numb. I always was quite fond of the drip as well, even though you feel like you have Clorox in the back of your throat, you still know that the nose candy is working, and that concept alone sends shivers of excitement and pleasure down my shine. This went over repeatedly throughout the night, as the two of us engaged in sexual activities in between as well.
I love coke's effects on my libido and sexual performance. I noticed guys are able to stay hard a little longer when coked up as well.The only problems I had while buzzed and feeling like the happy, giddy, confident young woman I wished I was, were the nose bleeds, I still get painful memorizes of the faces of dead white men on dollar bills covered with blood which I kept in my purse. Later, when the final crash came, and our supply was gone, I felt as horrific as I did blissed earlier; I was depressed, moody, and could not sleep off the darkness I was wallowing in for the life of me, either.
The next evening, a went over to my connection's house, and shared snow cap hits with him, and one of his friends. We smoked black hash laced with coke, and snorted lines from another very pure eight ball. His friend also experimented with rubbing coke on my vagina, which gave my pussy a very tingling and numbing sensation and made me look at non-coke related sexcoke as boring and less intense. I remember sucking my connection off while his friend gave me cunnilingus with her coke numb tongue. Once again, I felt energetic and giddy, while the hash seemed also have a very tranquil effect on me. Usually pot and hash make me very paranoid and anxiety ridden, especially when not taken with other substances. I remember feeling very much at peace with myself, and polite, yet very witty and talkative as well, while I was cheerful, I noticed I was not I as not cartoonishly so.
I was so horny that evening my oragams felt almost spiritually intense, and lasted long than usual, and as I stated above my pussy seemed to tingle more intenstly from the coke applied to it, the closer I came to climaxing. When I finally did come, I cried because my orgasam was so amazing and perfect. I also remember at one point during that evening, in the middle of our little threesome, of having such a moment of intense focus and clarity, that I made the two of them stop. I just remember wanting to enjoy an utterly focused moment, which is such a rarity in my life. I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder when I was very young and put on ritalin from when I was seven to sixteen, and often wonder if coke works best with an ADD addled mind, and in helping that mind find focus, self esteem, and serenity. I felt like I had found a key to unlock all of my nonlinear and attention deficit energy. I remember smiling, and feeling so beautiful and so in touch with my inner being and the world around me.
After that evening, I would have moments of pure pleasure and joy on coke again, but also met with enough awful side effects for the crash to feel like a punishment for feeling good. Within a few weeks, I got to the point where I was using about 2 or 3 grams a day on the weekends. When the crashes would come, I remember not only have an extremely sore nose, but a scratchy and raspy voice, as well sore ears, and pounding headaches. Still, I realize these are the consequences for enjoying the high. These side effects were not reason enough for me to stop using.
I stopped my relationship with the white because I strongly disliked what was becoming of me socially. I did not like having to sleep with connections in order to score, and pretending sleazy people were my friends in order to have access to the white. When I stopped using coke, I remember feeling very depressed and having the mental urge to snort again, for a couple of days, and then the feelings were mostly gone. Given the opportunity, I would do coke again on a social basis if I were with people whose company I enjoyed. I absolutely adored some of my experiences on coke, and place them with some of the most beautiful emotional experiences I have had in my short life. While I have also experimented with pot and has, X/MDMA, and shrooms, I consider coke to be the drug with which my experiences most rewarding, and definitely worth repeating. If only the scoring process were as more simple, and the company of friends spending time with the the white lady was in was more inviting...
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