Citation: q-tip. "The Reverse Spiral of Mankind: An Experience with 5-MeO-DiPT (exp3844)". Erowid.org. Dec 26, 2001. erowid.org/exp/3844
Setting: Visiting friends J, C, D, and A at my old college for the weekend, I have explained the background of 5-MEO-DIPT to all 4 of them, and they have decided to try some. We are all in good moods, partially empty stomachs for all (mine completely empty, no food all day). We are in one friends dorm room, nice mellow setting at about 12:30 on Friday night. I am ready to find out the message this chemical attempted to tell me on my first 10mg. trip but just didn't have enough power to do so, so I doubled the dose.
Dose: 15mg. For my 4 friends, 20mg. For me @ 12:30 Friday night
12:50 Initial effect is felt. Nausea is setting in, the room begins to 'breathe'. I take 2 Imodium AD's, and relax on the couch listening to mellow music. The flower patterns on the curtains begin to wilt and then grow right in front of my eyes, their colors become very pale and light as they wilt away, and then stand out with beautiful tones as they being to grow back.
1:00 Three of my friends D, C, and A come back from getting cigarettes, one of them is feeling nothing, the other is flipping out at how intense the chemical is reacting to his body, the third is just having a good time. Meanwhile I am falling deeper into the trip than all four of them. We conclude that we must remain in a calm fashion as not to attract attention to ourselves, as we are the only ones on campus cracked out on chemicals. I chime in and let them know they must not try to control this substance and to let it take over their minds, thus causing the best experience the drug has to offer.
1:20 My friend J and I walk out into the hallway to observe the visuals out there, we become locked out of the room because we don't know the code to the keypad lock. We begin to get panicked and worried because we are tripping to hard, and at this school almost no one uses drugs, we begin to worry they will find us out. The doors and walls are melting quickly into the floor, we are enjoying the visuals, but at the same time are getting freaked out. A friend approaches us and asks what the hell is wrong with us, we explain how we are tripping wicked hard, and for him to just leave us alone for now. This friends body starts to trip out, little flaps of skin on him stick out of his body and begin to flap and twitch at a vigorous rate, and his whole body is pulsating, his mouth seems to melt off of his face. Colors are very powerful at this point. J and I try to relax and just listen to the music in the room through the door. We just want to be in the room at this point in a secluded area. We feel very vulnerable in the open hallway with drunken kids coming in and out of their rooms.
1:40 Our Friend A returns from wandering around the dorm settling into the trip, he lets us back in the room. J and I recline to the couches and soak in the music. I instantly melt like a puddle of syrup into the couch I am lying on. The music is beautiful, I begin to see the firework show in my head like I have before while tripping on foxy. J is getting great visuals as well and feels very comfortable with this chemical at this time.
2:30 J and I decide to take a walk around campus, looking for some friends of ours. As we get outside into the cold New Hampshire Air, the visuals cease to exist. My body feels cosmic at this point, I feel more alive and happy than at any other point in my life, I raise my arms and begin to spin in circles proclaiming how great life is and how great I feel. We both say that we feel light at foot as we are walking across the quad, it feels as though the earth is spinning beneath us and we are just floating along.
2:40 we make it to a party of kids drinking, but quickly decide this is not where we want to be, they have no idea how to relate to us in this state. So we make our way back to the dorm room.
2:55 we arrive back in the dorm and settle back in to listen to more tunes. I begin to slip farther and farther into this trip. My friend J is not tripping nearly as hard as I am, visuals become almost too powerful, shortness of breath begins to settle in as well. I am extremely sexual and tell J to call some girls up to come over, I need a girl to cuddle up with, I am feeling so cozy and fuzzy now, the typical feeling while tripping on foxy. Shadows begin to surface all over the place, it feels as though there are groups of people in the room with us, dancing around. J's voice sounds electric and echoes every time he speaks.
3:10 we have no luck in locating the girls we wanted to come over, I am sliding faster and faster to a deeper state of mind now. I decide I need to be walked through this trip at this point, my friend J has no idea how to walk me through since this is his first experience. I try calling my close friend K at her home, but I cannot dial out of the dorm room, I fail miserably in trying to get a hold of her.
3:30 I slip into the universe I was meant to slip into the first time I tripped, this is where the true meaning foxy will unveil itself to me.
3:30 - 6:30 I am lost inside myself. The events that took place over the next three hours were the most important events of this whole voyage. I do not know the times these events took place, for I was completely lost in another universe. I was barely able to form coherent sentences the entire time, until I finally came to at about 6:30.
When I first slipped into this state I was very happy and peaceful. The music was fantastic, the visuals were beautiful, my body felt great, and the nausea had disappeared. The 'reverse spiral of my life' began. (My friend J said my eyes were open most of the time, so everything that occurred from this point on was apparently OEV's). It all began with me being put into about 6 or so different settings, My classrooms at school, my office, my house, my car, parties I have attended recently, the dorm room I was currently tripping in and on my computer. I would enter a setting and see the people that belonged to that setting. I would see my mom and sister and dog at my house, I would see my boss and co-workers in the office…etc. I soon began to run through conversations and events that had occurred in the past week or so with these people. Every time I became bored of a certain setting I would take a big step in another direction of the room thus moving me into a different setting, and send me through an event that occurred that week in that setting. But I would always return back to the dorm room though. Soon events that had happened that week began to disappear, and events that happened a month ago began to cycle through my head. And soon enough these events disappeared as well and events that happened 3 months ago were going through my mind.
It was at this point that I noticed that all of these settings had a tangible wall to them in the background, as if I was approaching an ending point eventually, and I noticed that these walls were closing in on me. They began to form a six-sided cube and I was stuck in the middle, and all I could do was take a step in a different direction to escape a certain setting. I soon began to feel like all people close to me in my life were watching me in the shadows. The dorm room I was in was the center of the cube, and it began to look filthier and more like a drug addicts room, the mood changed every time I re-entered that setting. I soon began to notice my physical appearance was changing, I was getting sicklier and skinnier, and even dirtier every time I looked at myself. I soon became very paranoid, I heard a voice in my head begin to count down from five, it would go: 5, 4, 3, 2… and then stop…5, 4, 3, 2… then stop again, my mind wouldn't let that voice get to 1 yet, I wasn't ready. I then began to feel as if my mother and family members and close friends were waiting outside the door for the countdown to finish.
It was at this point that I became real scared. I began to feel as though I had created my entire life in my head, all the people I met became figments of my imagination, my job became a figment, school was all part of my imagination, even Bluelight became a figment of my imagination. I felt like I had made these things up in my head. In order to make me feel better about the way I lived my life and myself. Pretty soon man's creation of drugs became a figment. I began to feel like I had made up this man Alexander Shulgin and all the drugs that he had created. I had convinced myself that he was real, just so that I wouldn't have to take the blame for introducing these chemicals to the addictive personalities of man. I made him up to make me feel better about messing around with different kinds of chemicals. It all started to reverse itself. Everything I had ever read or learnt began to spiral back into me, the whole world was spiraling into me, and I could feel it. I began to feel like I was the center of all mankind's failures and mishaps. The countdown in my head began to grow louder and stronger. I could no longer step into all of the other settings, they had all finally convened into one small cube. I was stuck in this dorm that looked hauntingly familiar. I knew I needed to escape somehow, I felt that I was going to be caught for causing all the hatred and addictions in the world, it was my all my fault I felt. My friend J began to come into focus in this cube, he kept telling me it was over, just give up. I didn't know how to take it, I was scared that the world was waiting behind the door until the countdown ended, but I had to figure out a way to escape before the countdown was over. I couldn't let them know it was all my fault.
The shadows of people I was close to began to circle around my head. My mother, Godfather and best friends, they were all telling me 'I told you so' and 'you shouldn't have done that' and 'just give up man'! I was scared out of my mind at this point. The dorm room I was in suddenly became clear to where it was from. I had had a nightmare a couple weeks ago that involved a young man about my age that was in a trashy room, he was deemed to be a failure. God had created him to make a point to all of mankind, to show that cannot live your life based off false beliefs and failures. I realized that I was turning into this young man, and I became extremely frightened. The room was forming into the exact room that was in my nightmare, and my physical appearance was changing to this young man's appearance. I began to see police lights outside the room, and the countdown became more powerful. I knew my life was going to end when I got to the number 1 in the countdown. Soon some force grabbed hold of my soul and began to control my body. It placed me onto the bed and laid me on my stomach, I had no control. My pelvic area began to hurt, as if someone had taken a knife to my private parts. I began to urinate on myself, I had no control over it. This force then picked me up and stood me in front of the bed next to the table. The recurring scene from the nightmare was shaping itself into me. The world was working its way spiraling backwards into my body, people I knew and events were all clicking back into one small cube that was being forced inside my stomach. I knew if I crouched down into the position the young man in my nightmare had been in it would all end, my life, the fear and the pain. I didn't want to just yet, I needed to find a way to escape. The force pushed me down to the ground, where I crouched into the dreaded position in my nightmare…. I became that pitiful young man.
I looked up and felt nothing. The world was empty, my head was blank, there were no thoughts in my head, and the world was silent. I was dead. My body had no feeling anymore, the cube had disappeared into my stomach, I contained all the pain and suffering of the world inside me, this was my time to go. I crouched down again on the floor, and felt that if I leaned forward I would just fall to another dimension and all the worlds' pain and suffering would disappear with me. So I leaned forward and just rolled on the floor. Nothing happened.
I looked up and saw my two friends J and C looking at me. They looked like they did over 2 years ago when I used to go to college with them, when I was a lazy failure, with no direction in my life. They said lets go man, its time to go. Change your pants, lets get going. They helped me change my urine soaked pants, and helped me out of the room, I thought I was being taken to jail at this point, since my life hadn't ended I must be off to the slammer for all the suffering I had caused. But we exited the room and everything was normal again. They asked repeatedly if I wanted to go to the hospital? And I just said no, but asked them what year it was and what state I was in, and if I still had my job? I thought I had been transported to my freshman year of college, but I hadn't. Where was I? What happened to me? I had no idea. They said I was babbling nonsense for over 3 hours, and I wouldn't respond to my name, and couldn't form complete sentences. So we went to my buddy's house and tried going to get some sleep.
Aftermath: I could not sleep for the rest of the day (foxy usually does that to me), but thoughts raced through my head all day long, I needed to figure out why this happened to me, what it meant, and what I'm supposed to do about it. I went for a walk through the woods for nearly 4 hours that afternoon, thinking the whole thing through over and over again, but I couldn't come to a conclusion. I live a perfectly healthy life now, I'm doing good in school, I have great relationships with my friends and family, I don't abuse drugs, and I tend to be a happy person. So what did all this mean? I'm hoping some spiritualists and philosophers can help me sort through this experience, as it seems as though it has some deeper meaning than what was shown to me.
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