Citation: WanderingPsyche. "A Journey Through Cocaine: An Experience with Cocaine (exp37703)". Erowid.org. May 9, 2007. erowid.org/exp/37703
||(powder / crystals)
||(powder / crystals)
I strive to be the example of the recreational drug user who informatively uses drugs to experiment with the possibilities of creating custom moods, personalities, and realities. I have done almost every major drug besides the most dangerous or obscure of them and tested them each enough to find exactly what they can do for me. This is a report on what cocaine can do for a person, and I think contains a different perspective then the other reports contain.
Cocaine I would classify as a mood and personality controller. It brings me to a state of thinking and mood that I experience when everything is right in the world. It isn't a new feeling, but one that can be created at will. I get the same high from a good orgasm or that state of focus when I am really engaged in a sport. Its all just a few lines away with cocaine, accessible anytime I have the money, and therein lies the problem.
I started experimenting with snorting it. I started small and worked my way up as I always do, after reading everything about cocaine that I could find. Within 5 minutes I was feeling great. Colors were brighter, my mood was amazing, and I felt so at peace. While it gives me so much energy, sitting or lying down is my favorite way to enjoy coke. Music and TV are distracting as my thoughts are so clear I feel everything is understandable and I am thinking at 100 mph. It lasts about 30 minutes, followed by a crash, where I feel drained and have a strong urge for more. This is not the most powerful, but by far the best way to do coke.
Next I tried smoking it. After reading a lot on the subject, I decided that the freebase method would provide a more accurate picture of what smoked cocaine could do then the impure form of crack. Using ammonia and ether it took about 3 hours before I had the pure freebase powder (make sure to do this outside as ether is VERY flammable). Vaporizing the freebase in a test tube I took several big hits through a straw. I don't enjoy the smoking as the smoke is very awful tasting, harsh, and feels like it is very bad for the lungs. My lungs hurt for about a day after. The high was similar to a very weak IV coke high which I will describe later, but was gone so quickly it couldn't be enjoyed. The down after is still just as long as snorting but much more powerful. After the high fades my entire mind is focused on one thing, getting more. Its a paranoid frenzy sort of a feeling that I would just as well never have. Crack and freebase are the quickest ways to get an addiction and with the relatively large doses it is a VERY expensive habit.
After obtaining a particularly pure batch I decided to try injecting cocaine IV. I won't go into the details of injecting method, but it can be found elsewhere. A few tips however: The most important thing is to sterilize everything. Always use a fresh needle and never share them. Make sure you are in the vain before shooting, a missed shot infects, hurts, and also wastes it. Its better to try again if you uncertain then miss. Start with a VERY low dose. The effects are the best feelings in the world. It is all the happiness I can possibly feel and complete clarity. It will never be as good as the first time no matter how much I ever do it. I like to sit back, relax, and just enjoy it. It doesn't need anything else. There is a ringing or buzzing at the high doses that tells me that I have taken a large dose. I don't go far beyond this cause I don't want to risk overdose.
I can repeat dosing a second time with twice as much powder as the first time to and get another high about the same strength, but it goes away quicker. After the second shot, more re-doses only delay the comedown. The larger doses required to feel anything are huge compared to the first one and still don't satisfy me. They never peek as high and end very quickly. This is the biggest addiction problem. The comedown is awful for IV use, but will go away quicker the less I do. Its one of the worst experiences. Nothing is fun, nothing is entertaining. I hate everything I used to love. If I don't watch out I'll find myself shaking or pacing back and forth for two hours. The only things I've found to do to pass time is talking, which is coincidentally one of the biggest benefits of cocaine. I can talk about anything. Find anyone and I will have the most open and heartfelt discussion I've ever had. Getting to sleep is almost impossible for the next 6 hours without tranquilizers or opiates.
I LOVE the feeling of injecting it so much it scares me. The only way I can convince myself to not make it a habit is by focusing on the fact that getting the feeling from life naturally seems more meaningful to me, and the hatred and fear of the down feeling. Its really not worth it in the long run, the down is so awful for 2 hours and the high is never quite enough. The problem for me is it took until it was too late for me to realize this and Iím still trying to quit. Its one thing to know it. Itís an entirely different thing to actually stop.
This is why Iím writing all this. Hopefully you can learn from my knowledge and experience and keep control. I've seen coke ruin so many lives and I'm struggling to take mine back. The last thing I want to tell everyone is something I read in another experience report, but didnít listen to and regret it every day. Never give cocaine to someone who has never done it before, if they want start it let them find someone else, because it is quite likely, no matter how responsible they are, they will misuse it, get addicted, ruin their life, or die, and you will be the one to blame. In my first days of experimenting with cocaine I was so amazed by its power to cause happiness I wanted to share it with everyone. I had some really good times with people I love. Cocaine brought us closer then ever and I felt so good having shared much happiness.
Each person however, after having a taste, obviously wanted more. Now of my three closest friends, one almost overdosed, one is practically a coke whore, and only one was strong enough to become scared of it and never do it again. Its the one mistake I regret the most. You have the right to do whatever you want with your own body, but starting someone else on it is just wrong. From the first time you try it, your mind changes how it thinks about obtaining happiness. When nirvana is just a line way, who can resist.
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